“What’s wrong with cops?”
“Nothing at all. I’m very thankful for what they do for us.” She gives me a smile. It’s true and genuine. It’s also confusing as anything.
“I’m not following,” I say.
She sighs. “Fine. You twisted it out of me. Hunter and I went out on a date once.”
Oh, my Lord. “You did?” I practically croak.
“Yeah, but the two of us are not meant to be together. No attraction.”
No attraction? Is she insane? Sexual attractiveness practically oozes from his pores. Even I notice how attractive he is. “Oh,” I reply lamely.
“We even did the guy hug thing after the date was over. Totally didn’t ruin anything for us as friends”—she glances up—“kinda sorta friends. Anyway, nothing happened except for dinner and a movie. Which is why I think the two of you would be perfect for each other,” Saylor adds. “I saw the two of you eating Domingo’s tacos last week—and oh, no! Is that why you don’t want him to come? You’re not attracted to him, either?” she shakes her head. “Bless his heart.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “Oh my gosh, no.”
“You are attracted to him, or you don’t want me to bless his heart?” she asks, all innocence lacing her tone.
Aggravated almost to the point of no return, I am this close to blessing the woman out, but then I see the gleam of mischief in her eye. “You are unbelievable.”
She dissolves into laughter. “The look on your face was too cute, Evangeline. I couldn’t resist teasing you.”
Mouth agape, I stare at her for a half second. “You and Hunter didn’t go out?”
“Nope!” Lacing her arm through mine, she pulls me the rest of the way to my car. “The only time we’ve ever had dinner together was when the management company hosted a pig pickin’ and invited everyone at Rose Haven. We sat at the same table.”
“Then you do think he’s attractive?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m not blind. Hunter is Thor hot.” She cants her head side to side. “But without the blond hair, Nordic background, or hammer.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re such a liar.”
I scuff my shoes on the asphalt of the parking lot. “Maybe I think he’s Thor hot, too. But, I’m not interested in anything.”
“Seemed to me that he’s very interested in you while y’all hang out at the dog park.”
“It was nice,” I admit. “Nothing more.”
Saylor gives me a beatific smile. “Nice can always turn into more…if you’re willing to let it.”
I look her right in the eye. “The last time I was willing to let nice turn into more, it turned into hell on earth.”
“All the more reason to allow Hunter to show you heaven on earth.”
I pull away, fully frustrated with her, with myself, and with the entire world. “I get that everyone around here thinks he’s a superhero, but I can’t…I just can’t, okay?”
Saylor nods, her teasing mood gone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories for you.”
“That’s the problem,” I shout. “No one has to bring up bad memories for me. They’re just there.” Hot shame floods my veins. I unlock my car door, get in, and drive away without saying goodbye, hoping that the ride home will calm me.
While I know I need to apologize to Saylor, I’m too freaking embarrassed by my outburst. Tomorrow, I’ll make it up to her by being the one to invite her to lunch.
I drive home in complete silence, punishing myself by keeping the radio off. The quietness makes me think about things again, about Hunter and Saylor—two people who are trying, for reasons God only knows, to be in my life while I hold them at arm’s length.
The only way you’ll learn to trust yourself again is by attempting to do the things that terrify you.
Piper is right, but I can’t seem to make myself attempt anything other than a new job and lunch with Saylor. Early dinner with Piper. Tacos with Hunter. Short bursts of time spent with people who want to get to know me. Out of those three people, Hunter terrifies me the most, and not because I think he’ll hurt me. Sure, he could hurt me, but I’d like to think I know the signs now. I know what to look for.
Hunter’s eyes are kind, his smile is genuine, and he likes to tease me. His dog, Jake, obviously loves him.
“I’m so damn tired of being scared,” I mutter.
As I pull into my parking space at Rose Haven, my phone rings. Without checking the screen, I answer it.
“Hello?”
“Eva, so nice to hear your voice.”
Goosebumps break out all over my body. A wave of icy terror washes over me.
“What do you want? More important, how did you get this number?” I ask, my voice quivering. I hate what Penn does to me. I hate this cowering, shivering creature I turn into.
“Fuck, Eva. Calm down. I’m only calling to apologize.”
“You’re not forgiven. So fuck off.”