She swallowed. “You want me to stay? Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I pulled out of her, and turned her gently onto her back. The way she looked up at me made my chest tighten. “If you want to.”
“Jack.” Her hands flew to my face, her thumbs brushing my cheekbones. “Of course I want to.”
I smiled, feeling as if a massive weight had been lifted off my chest. “Good.”
“But I know things are complicated.”
“They are.” I wouldn’t lie to her. “And I can’t make any promises.”
“I don’t need promises,” she said quickly. “I don’t have conditions, don’t need to put a label on this, don’t have to know how it ends. I just like being with you.”
I kissed one of her palms. “Thank you.”
She smiled, letting her hands trail over my shoulders. “You know, it’s funny. This is the first time in my life I’m giving myself permission to just do what I want to do without worrying about how it fits in to the grand scheme of my life. Without caring if it’s what Thurber women do.”
That made me chuckle. “I’m gonna guess Muffy would not approve.”
She giggled and shook her head. “Probably not. But guess what? I don’t care.” Her face lit up the dark. “I don’t care. I just want to stay here for a while and enjoy myself.”
“Me too.” Although for me, here wasn’t a physical place. It was a state of mind that allowed me to enjoy some time with Margot without feeling like I owed anyone an apology. Without feeling like it was a complete betrayal. Without the guilt. It was a place I’d reached as I’d run through the rain toward home, realizing that I could either spend another sleepless night alone and tortured by thoughts of her, or I could allow myself a brief reprieve from the loneliness.
And maybe for Margot, it was the same—a break from the expectations, the rules governing her behavior, a chance for her to indulge her less…polite side. Get her hands dirty. I could definitely help her with that.
But that’s all it could be—a respite, a temporary relief. Anything more was out of the question.
“Wonder when the power will come back on.” Margot came out of the bathroom carrying the candle we’d lit. She was still naked—I loved that. “Think it’s on at the cabin?”
“No idea.” The prospect of spending the entire night in the dark did not thrill me. Did I have candles to burn? I tried to remember as I buttoned up my shirt.
“Is it still raining?” We listened for a moment, and sure enough, the downpour hadn’t let up.
“Yeah.” Frowning, I glanced around the room for my socks, which were probably still soaked. Fuck, I hated wet socks.
“Want to stay here tonight?”
I looked at her, hesitated. Sex was one thing, but spending the night with another woman seemed like too much. Lying next to her. Watching her sleep. Waking up with her. But I want to. Just this once would be OK, right?
“No pressure.” Margot walked toward me, the candle lighting her face from below. “But the invitation is there. Thinking about you trying to get home in the pitch dark makes me nervous.”
Our eyes met, and I wondered if she was thinking about the highway. It was raining that night too. For one insane second, I wondered why the hell I shouldn’t tempt fate. Would I get what I deserved?
“You wouldn’t let me walk home in the dark, remember?”
The concern on her face moved me. “I remember.”
“So stay.” She set the candle on an end table and twined her arms around my waist. “For me. I know you’re a big strong soldier and you’re not afraid of the dark, but I’ll be too scared here all alone.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. You have no idea. She rested her cheek on my chest, and I kissed the top of her head. Even her hair smelled sweet. A whole night surrounded by her scent. By the sound of her breathing. By the knowledge I wasn’t alone. “OK. I’ll stay.”
“Good.” She wriggled happily in my arms. “God, I love getting my way.”
I pinched her butt. “You’re a spoiled brat. Did you just trick me?”
“Maybe.”
“Jesus, you could sell water to a drowning man. You should go into politics.”
“No, thanks. But I was pretty good at fundraising, or at least getting rich people to write checks for good causes.”
“I have no doubt.” She yawned, and I hugged her tighter. “Tired?”
“Yes. You wore me out. Or maybe it was the wine.”
“Let’s say it was me.”
She looked up at me and smiled. “It was totally you.”
She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, taking the candle with her, but she left the door open so I could find my way into the bedroom. By the time she came out, I was undressed again and under the covers.
Setting the candle on the bedside table, she slipped in next to me and then blew it out. We lay there for a moment, the rain softer now, the scent of smoke from the candle lingering in the air. Both of us were on our backs, no parts of our bodies touching.
“Is it strange?” she asked.