“Tripp,” I said slowly. “Is something going on with you?” Years ago, Tripp had struggled with a gambling addiction, racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt his father eventually had to pay off. But as far as I knew, he’d stopped the compulsive betting by the time we were together. And why would that prompt him to propose to me, anyway?
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “No. Honestly, Margot. It’s just that I’ve been so miserable and lonely since we broke up.”
“You didn’t look miserable or lonely.”
“I was. Really, I was. And I was a total asshole to you.”
“Well, we can agree on that, at least.”
“I’m sorry.” He pulled me into an awkward hug, but I kept my arms at my sides, the ring caught in one fist. “We’re so right for each other, you know we are. We make sense together. And we’re both going to be thirty soon, so we should stop dicking around.”
Pushing him away, I stood back and crossed my arms again. “That is not romantic. At all. And you’re the only one who’s been dicking around.”
“I’m sorry. I’m bad at this stuff, you know I am. But…but…” He looked inspired for a second. “You complete me, Margot.”
Battling the urge to call him out on his blatant pilfering of Jerry Maguire, I grabbed the ring box and (somewhat reluctantly) tucked the ring back inside. “Listen, this is crazy. We’ve been broken up for over a year. You can’t just show up out of the blue and propose.”
“But I want to marry you,” he whined, his eyes darting to the left.
“Then maybe you should take me to dinner first.” I held out the ring box, feeling a surge of pleasure at how well I was handling this situation. A year ago, I’d have been texting Jaime and Claire pictures of my engagement ring already.
He nodded glumly as he stuck the box back in his pocket. “Sure. OK.”
At the door, I handed him his umbrella and gave him an impulsive hug. I could appreciate how hard this had been for him—it wasn’t easy for a guy like Tripp to admit he was wrong and ask forgiveness. It showed maturity and growth, didn’t it? “Let’s talk again in a day or so, OK? I need to think.”
I opened the door and he left without saying anything else, opening his umbrella against the punishing rain. After snapping off the light, I moved into the living room and watched him get into his car from the big picture window. Rain cascaded in sheets down the pane, blurring his form. When I saw the headlights come on and then disappear into the rainy dark, I went back upstairs to bed.
Holy shit, I thought, sliding beneath the covers again. What a crazy turn of events. Never in a million years had I thought Tripp would come to my doorstep in the middle of the night, with a diamond ring, begging me to marry him. It was such a complete reversal of his mindset a year ago.
Part of me was mad that now he’d decided we were right for each other, but another part wondered if he’d just needed more time all along. Had I been wrong to pressure him when he wasn’t ready? Had I been too hasty to issue a “now or never” ultimatum? Had I been too insistent that we do things according to my timeline?
But dammit, we’d talked about everything! For three years, we’d fantasized together about the country club wedding, the center-entrance Colonial, the two kids, the sailboat, the King Charles Spaniel…it wasn’t just me who’d wanted all that. He had too.
And didn’t I still want it? Should I consider his offer? Annoying as it had been when he brought up my thirtieth birthday, he sort of had a point. My social circle was small, and I hadn’t met anyone I was even attracted to in a year—how much longer did I want to wait to start the next phase of my life? As Muffy was fond of telling me, Thurber women marry and have children by thirty, Gogo. Even the lesbians.
It wasn’t that I was unhappy. I had great friends, close family, a new job I loved, a beautiful place to live. So why did I feel like something was missing?
I was tired, but I lay awake for a while, playing with the fourth finger of my left hand.
Two
Margot
“You’re kidding me.” Jaime paused with her dirty martini halfway to her mouth. Claire seemed just as shocked, but took an extra gulp of her cocktail.
“Not kidding.” I shook my head and smiled.
“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” Jaime demanded. “I saw you this morning at the office and you didn’t say anything about it!”