Landon nods. “Very,” he says. “If we want to get you in front of the right people and take your music to the next level, it's the smart play, Harp.”
I sit back in my seat and pick at the sandwich in front of me. We're sitting in Vito's Deli – which is one of our favorite places to have lunch. It's crowded, as usual, and we'd had to wait almost half an hour to get a table. But, it's worth it. Vito's is amazing and has so many unusual food options – it's totally unlike anything I'd ever had back in Blackburn.
“What about the showcase at The Grind, though?” I ask.
“I mean, that's cool and all,” he says, “but that's small time, Harp. And we need to think bigger here. A lot bigger.”
I'm reluctant to uproot my world again – especially, now that things seem like they're starting to head in the right direction for me. I mean, to give up a regular gig at a popular place like The Grind before I have my first show? I hate to even think about it. Especially when I feel like I'm just starting to feel like I'm making connections with an audience – building a fanbase.
But, if Landon thinks it's a good idea, maybe I should listen to him. After all, he's never steered me wrong before. And he knows this business a lot better than I do.
“Do you really think it's the best move?” I ask.
He nods. “Absolutely,” he says. “Think about it for a minute, Harp. Hollywood is the entertainment capital of the world, right?”
I shrug. “I guess so.”
“Definitely so,” he says. “It's the epicenter for movies and music.”
“There's a lot of music in New York too, though.”
“Yeah, kinda,” he presses. “But New York isn't where all the big labels do business, Harp. That's in LA. You want to get in front of people who can take you to the next level, it's gonna be there.”
On the one hand, I hate the idea of leaving New York. It's such a vibrant city that's just so full of life. You can always find something to do at any hour, day or not. There's always something going on. It's about the polar opposite of Blackburn and I absolutely love it here. It's everything I could have possibly wanted when I left home, everything I'd dreamed of – and then some.
On the other hand, though, I can't deny that Los Angeles and Southern California, in general, has an appeal to it. The glitz and glamour of Hollywood is intriguing and alluring. I know that if you do want to make it in the entertainment business, it's the place you want to start. That's where all the big record labels and movie studios call home.
But, the idea of having to start all over again, work from the ground up, just when I feel like we're starting to get off the ground here – it's a daunting feeling. And I'm not gonna lie, a little bit depressing. There is a buzz about me in Chelsea. Yeah, it's a small section of New York, but it's a start. In LA, there's absolutely zero buzz about me and going out there is going to put me back at square one.
“You have doubts,” Landon says.
I shrug and look away. Yeah, I'm having doubts. A lot of them. But I'm torn, simply because Landon has been so good to me and has helped me get started on my career. And he's always looking out for me. How can I say no to him?
“Not doubts,” I say. “I just – I don't know, Landon. It just feels like things are starting to take off here and –”
“No, you're right,' he says. “Things are starting to move. It's a little too slow for my liking and I think it'd move a hell of a lot faster in LA, but if you want to stay and keep workin' here, that's cool, Harp. We can do that. I don't want to force you into anything. I was just thinkin' out loud.”
I see the look of disappointment on his face and it automatically makes me feel bad. I know he wants to help me get to the next level – and I know he wants to take his own career to the next level too. I realize, more than he thinks, that our relationship is a lot more symbiotic and mutually beneficial than he acknowledges.
I know I'm naive when it comes to a lot of things, but I'm not stupid.
At the same time, I can't deny all he's done for me. I've had more paying gigs since Landon found me than I'd ever been able to find on my own. And things only seemed to be getting better on that front. And for that, I'm really grateful to him.
Which makes this decision so difficult. I know his instincts tell him we need to get to LA if we want to get to the next level of our careers. And I trust his instincts. But, with things starting to get moving here, it's difficult to just turn my back on it and head west.
But the last thing I want to do is disappoint Landon or let him down. Not after all he's done for me.
“Do you really think this is the smart move?” I ask.
He nods. “Personally, yeah I do. You gotta go where the action is,” he says. “But, I know this is your career we're talkin' about and you have to make the decisions you think are best. I ain't gonna pressure you one way or the other.”
I sit there, picking at my sandwich, my mind gripped with indecision. It's such a drastic about-face from his position just the night before. He'd seemed so excited about getting me a showcase at The Grind – and now, he wants to just walk away from it. And I don't know why.
“What's changed?” I asked. “I mean, you were so up on doing the showcase at The Grind, and now – you're saying we should go to LA. What changed, Landon?”
He gives me a small smile. “I have a buddy out there,” he says. “A guy who knows people. Real connected cat. Well, I talked to him and he thinks he can get you in front of some very important people, Harp.”
I feel my eyes widen as a jolt of electricity shoots through me. The idea that Landon could possibly get me in front of producers or record label executives – that changes things. That changes things a lot.
“Why didn't you say that up front?” I ask, unable to keep the smile off my face or the excitement out of my voice.
He shrugs. “Because nothing is guaranteed, Harp,” he says. “And I'd really hate for you to walk away from a sure thing like your showcase for the possibility of getting into the room with some people who can really make your career. The Grind is a guaranteed deal. This other thing – it's not.”
“But you still think it's the right move,” I say.
“Like I said, I personally do,” he replies. “I think the possibility of getting in front of those people – it's a gamble, yeah, but it has the potential to take you a lot higher than the showcase at The Grind.”
I sit back in my seat and let it all run through my mind. The icy fist of indecision grips my mind and my heart even tighter than before. I remember him telling me once – a hundred times, actually – that when things happen, they happen fast and that I have to be ready for them. Have to be ready to pounce on any opportunity that comes my way.
And I know I'm staring at one of those opportunities right now, and I'm terrified to do anything.
“Listen,” he says. “It's probably a bad idea. I mean, you've got the showcase goin' for you. I'd hate for you to lose it for something that's not guaranteed.”
“Let's do it,” I say, still not believing what I'm saying even as the words come out of my mouth.
His eyes brighten a bit. “Yeah?” he asks. “You sure?”
I nod. “You said I have to be willing to roll the dice, right?” I ask. “That I have to be willing to bet on myself?”
“That I did,” he says. “Because it's a pretty damn safe bet.”
I squeal and bounce in my seat, still not believing that I'm going to do something this reckless. This crazy. Something that's so unlike me. But then, leaving Blackburn to pursue my music in the first place had been reckless and crazy. And that seems to be turning out okay.
“I can't believe it,” I say. “We're going to Hollywood.”
“That we are, Harp,” he says. “And we're going to take this world by storm. Mark my words.
Chapter Eight
Landon
Manhattan