Lourdes toyed with the zipper on her sweatshirt. “Maybe she wasn’t ready to settle down.”
“To my mind, she should’ve been ready. It wasn’t as if we were just out of college. In retrospect, I can see that I should’ve backed away and given her some time. She’d been born and raised here, wanted to experience something other than small-town life before starting a family. But I’d never expected her to call a halt, even a temporary one, and it threw me. I was afraid she might meet someone else and never come home. I felt maybe she was out there, looking.”
“That’s reasonable. You were hurt and angry, so you screwed up.”
“I was more than hurt and angry. After she left, I was so lonely I didn’t know what to do with myself. It felt more like a divorce, since we’d been so close. I was used to seeing her almost every night. I was used to eating with her. Sleeping with her. When she moved away instead of moving in like I expected—like everyone expected—it left me sort of stunned and reeling.”
Lourdes flinched. “So you filled in with her sister? Couldn’t you have chosen someone else?”
“I’m getting there. I was listless and bored and sexually frustrated. And I was constantly reminded of her defection. Everyone else was as shocked as I was. Almost daily, I had to hear someone say, ‘But I thought you two would get married,’ as if even he or she believed Olivia had moved on without me. Anyway, I tried to fill the hours I usually spent with her at work but often wound up at Sexy Sadie’s when I couldn’t sleep at night.”
“Drinking.”
He put on his coat. “I did more of it then than I ever have, before or since.”
“And Noelle worked there.”
“Not at the time,” he clarified. “Like me, she came in as a patron that night.”
“And when she arrived...”
He pictured her wearing the tight red dress that revealed so much—and those high heels, which made the most of her legs. “She came over and...” He let his words fall off as he remembered how she’d rubbed her lower body against his while they danced. How she’d whispered in his ear that she often touched herself, pretending it was him.
“Hello?” she prompted.
He wished he could block those memories from his mind. He was mortified that he’d let her turn him into such a chump. “And she soon made it clear what she wanted,” he finished.
“She wanted you.”
“Basically. I mean, she’d flirted with me before, and I’d never had any difficulty resisting her. But that night it was more blatant than usual. And since I was convinced I’d already lost Olivia, there didn’t seem to be any reason to refuse her. Maybe I was even looking for a little revenge, since she seemed to move on so easily.”
“Did you tell Olivia what you’d done after it was over?”
He rubbed his face. “Didn’t need to. The news that I’d gone home with Noelle spread all over town, and I’m betting she had a hand in that. She wanted people to know—was quite proud of herself for finally being able to...divert my attention,” he said, choosing a euphemism instead of the more vulgar expression that came to mind and probably described the situation better.
“That must’ve been horrible.”
“It was the worst year of my life.”
“So did you apologize to Olivia?”
“Not at first. Once I’d slept with Noelle, I figured I’d ruined any chance I ever had with Olivia. I knew she’d never get beyond it. So, for one desperate weekend, I tried to keep an open mind where Noelle was concerned, tried to convince myself I’d slept with her because I was attracted to her and hadn’t destroyed my life.”
“I can guess how well that worked out.”
He’d soon disliked Noelle so much he could hardly stand to be around her. That was how well it’d worked out. “After only a couple of days, I realized I wasn’t interested. So I tried to extricate myself from the relationship.”