“Yeah, well...that won’t work for me. It’d be too hard.”
“You’ve still got Crystal,” she pointed out. “Even though I begged you to let her go.”
“So you are holding that against me. You say you’ve forgiven me but you’re still angry about one stupid indiscretion for which I’ve apologized again and again?”
She had a lot to say about that stupid indiscretion. Easy to be glib about it when he wasn’t the injured party. But she doubted he’d understand that. She decided to focus on what mattered now, anyway. “I’m not angry, just trying to make you aware of the contradiction.”
“It’s different with Crystal. I don’t love her. It won’t break my heart to record with her and tour with her, all the time wanting to touch her while knowing she doesn’t want me back.”
“So we’re parting ways completely?” Lourdes had been afraid of this; it was the reason she’d been so nervous. She knew losing Derrick would be detrimental to her career.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Give me a chance to try to figure this out.”
That was probably wise. “Okay.” She nodded. “Let’s talk again after Christmas.”
“I’ve never seen you so...dispassionate,” he said.
She was dispassionate about him. Kyle and her career still meant everything to her, but she wasn’t sure she could have both, and having to make a choice was agonizing. “I’m sorry, Derrick.”
“What you felt for me died that easily?”
“I think it’s been going on for a while—since we started having so much trouble.”
“So it goes back to Crystal?”
“I guess she brought out the worst in both of us.”
“Are you going back to him, or is he coming here?” The way he asked that told her he wouldn’t be happy to have Kyle in town.
She clasped her hands together under the table. “I haven’t decided yet. Probably neither.”
Once again dropping his coat on the chair, he returned to his seat. “Why?”
“We want different things out of life. We’re going in different directions.” She still believed they might be smarter to make a clean break while they had the chance—to preserve the memories they’d created, rather than trying for more, failing and ruining everything.
“Then I’ll continue to work with you,” Derrick said. “As long as there’s hope for us, I’ll keep working.”
“You’re saying you’ll dump me as a client if I go back to Kyle?”
“Rebuilding your career isn’t going to be easy. I’m doing it because I love you, but if I can’t have you, and this becomes strictly a business decision...I’d see it differently.”
“So no song—no ‘Crossroads.’”
“I feel like a jerk saying this, but...no ‘Crossroads.’ We’re in this together, or we’re not in it at all. There’s no cherry-picking, Lourdes, taking only what you want from me and leaving the rest.”
She nodded. In a way, that made her angry. He should be doing whatever he could to further all his clients’ careers. But he’d worked hard for her in the past, and she’d moved to pop against his advice, which was a setback for him, too. Also, she knew Crystal could release that song as easily as she could, and there’d be less work involved in negotiating the contract and the support necessary to overcome a failed album, since Crystal didn’t have a failed album.
“You’re forcing me to choose between Kyle and my career?”