It’s actually pretty simple. I’m surprised I never thought of it before. The key to everything is that the jump is dangerous, yes, but not impossible. Not even that hard, as long as you take it seriously. All I have to do is make the jump myself. That will prove it’s possible, and that will prove Nolan wasn’t delusional to think he could make it, and it will also prove I’m not the jackass my brother was. They’ll see that I’m not someone to worry about.
All I need to do is prop up my phone on the short wall and record myself making the jump to show everyone later. But first I need to stop crying. Then I can finish what Nolan started and say good-bye— Rattling metal startles me. I stumble to my feet.
David appears on the other side of the roof, from the fire escape.
I put up both hands. “Stay back!”
“Mel!” David calls. “Don’t jump!”
I’m standing near the edge of the building so of course he thinks I’m here to jump off. I’ll always be a ticking time bomb to everyone. Seeing the fear on David’s face reminds me how I was right to hide my diagnosis. The ache in my chest is real, physical … How can my heart keep breaking again and again? It’s like a cat with nine lives, only that’s another way of saying nine deaths …
“Come away from the edge,” David says. “Please.”
If it weren’t for the skylight between us, I’m sure he’d have tackled me already.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I was worried about you,” he says. “It was too early to call. So I … I used the tracker to … you know … make sure you were home and safe. Then I saw you heading out here. I tried texting and calling. Why didn’t you answer?”
I remember now: Do Not Disturb mode.
David says, “I thought you might be coming to visit the cemetery and I wanted to come with you—”
“What?!” I take a step, mostly to keep from falling over. “How …?”
“Joan told me about Nolan.”
Hurricane Joan. Wreaking havoc.
“Mel, please come away from the edge—”
“God! I’m not here to jump off the roof!”
“Promise me.”
“Fine, I promise I won’t jump … off the roof.”
He squints. “Promise you won’t jump anywhere.”
I guess Aunt Joan told him everything.
“Just … leave, okay?” I say. “Just leave me alone.”
“No. Promise me you won’t jump the skylight.”
“It’s … It’s … not impossible … and he thought he could make it—” A sob interrupts me.
“I believe you,” David says. “I’m sure it was just an accident—”
“I know! I’ll show you!”
“No!” David takes a quick step forward.
“I can do it!”
“Not after riding your bike all night! Look at you … you’re a mess! You couldn’t jump over a crack in the sidewalk. Let’s go home and later we can—”
“No! You’ll make it so I can’t come back!”
“Mel … you won’t want to come back. Not when you’re thinking straight again.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” Everything’s blurring and I wipe my eyes. “When I make it, you’ll see I’m not going to end up like him, and then everyone can stop worrying.”
“Look at me,” David says, but I can’t. “If you do this, even if you don’t fall—and you definitely will—it’ll make people think you are going to end up like Nolan. What’ll make you the same is trying. The only way to prove you’re different is to not try.”
“You’re wrong,” I say. But I’m getting confused … he’s trying to confuse me …
I wipe my eyes again and see the Magic Wand in its mound of gravel. I pick it up. Nolan had told me to wave it, but I didn’t. Maybe I should have.
“Come on, Mel. Let’s go somewhere and talk about this.”
I know what that means. They’ll seal or lock the fire escape, weld the doors shut, who knows, but they won’t let me back up here again. It’s now or never.
I touch the far wall with my heel, brace my foot against it, lean down— “Mel, wait! I’ll do it!”
David drops to one knee and starts tightening his shoelaces.
This startles me for some reason.
“You just want proof that it’s possible?” he says. “So I’ll prove it and we can go.”
I peer at him. Is this a trick?
“It doesn’t have to be you,” he says. “Right?”
I’m really confused. I don’t know if he’s right or not.
He switches to the laces of his other shoe and says, “You’re so tired you can’t even stand straight without wobbling. I know I can make it if I’m careful and don’t slip, but I won’t lie; this sort of stunt often ends badly on YouTube. I just don’t see any other way to stop you.”
I’m losing track of the details but one thing is clear: He’s really going to do this— My heart stops.
I see it now. I understand.
Maybe this is how it was with Nolan. I don’t want to die, and I know there’s a chance I could fall, but somehow this doesn’t frighten me …
Yet watching David now … it changes everything. Seeing him about to do this instead of me … for me … I’m suddenly terrified.
He isn’t trying to patronize me. Or handle me. Or pat me on the head and go on with his business. He’s really trying to help. Even if it kills him.
“David, don’t!”
He looks up. “Why?”
“It’s … it’s too dangerous! It’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Let’s just go, okay?”
“No,” he says and returns to his laces. “I can’t tell if you really believe that. Maybe you’re only saying it to keep me from jumping—”
He stops and stares at me. Then he rocks back and sits in the gravel.