“It’s not that. It’s more like …” I close my eyes and take a breath. “I’ve hurt people before. And … I sort of can’t help it. I don’t think this is—”
“Now, here’s a mood I haven’t seen yet.” He leans out from the sofa to get closer to my line of sight. “Is this the Great and Powerful Mel, deciding the fates of all? You won’t get rid of me that easily.”
“I don’t want to get rid of you. I just think we shouldn’t—”
“Then we won’t. Until we do. But don’t worry, I can take care of myself—”
The lights flick on. I sit up straight and spin.
“There you are,” Judith says. She’s by the entrance to the hallway, hand still on the light switch, smiling.
“Sorry!” I jump up. “I’m coming right out.”
“Good. You were late today so you’re mine for another hour. And there’s half a lounge act out here asking about you.”
HAMSTER IS ACTIVE
HUMMINGBIRD IS HOVERING
HAMMERHEAD IS THRASHING*
HANNIGANIMAL IS DOWN
I’m being punished.
Not directly, or on purpose, just … cosmically, or karmically, and a bit comically. After some singing, and then dinner, Mr. Terrance Knight calls me to the piano again and brings out the hymnbooks.
David sits on the far side of the room with Ms. Li and Dr. Jordan. I’m more self-conscious than usual but I don’t know if it’s having David here, singing songs I don’t know, or my down mood. As Mr. Terrance Knight leafs through his hymnal for another song, I’m wondering what’s a good way to say I want to lie down instead?
My shift is done; I’m staying over because the room seems like it needs more magic. Yet if I’m singing to bring everyone up, but Mr. Terrance Knight has us singing to bring me up, and neither is working— My phone rings. Strange, but I’ll take it.
“Sorry, this is probably my mom or dad. They’re the only ones who call.” I walk toward the hallway and dig out my phone.
It’s Connor. He’s never called me before. Just texts.
“Connor?”
“You busy?”
His voice is tense, not his usual casual. It sounds like he’s outside but I can’t identify the background noise.
“Where are you?”
“With Zumi. Can you come?”
“Now? Did she ask for me?”
“No, but she knows I’m calling you.”
David catches me watching him. We didn’t really finish our conversation earlier and I wonder if he might be waiting for me to get off work, not just hanging around generally.
Sorry, David.
“Where?”
“On the beach,” Connor says. “South Point.”
I hear Zumi yell, “Bring more vodka!”
“What?!”
Everyone in the room looks at me. I walk quickly into the hall.
“You guys are drinking?”
“We’re having a wake!” Zumi shouts. “For Annie! Price of admission, one bottle!”
I say, “This sounds like a bad idea.”
“It’s not,” Connor says. “You’ll see.”
“I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
I hang up. It’s too much ground to cover on foot—I need a ride.
I walk over to David. “Something’s come up. Can you drop me somewhere?”
“Sure.” He kisses Ms. Li on the cheek. “Gotta go.”
“Don’t hurry back. You kids have fun.”
“See you tomorrow,” he says.
“I have to change,” I say. “Meet you out front in a few minutes.”
In the bathroom I call HJ. I hope she can hear her phone ring …
“Mel? Something wrong?”
Wow, I was right. It’s really loud where she is.
“No, I’m fine. I’m with friends.”
“What! Can’t hear you!”
“Hang on!”
How can I have this conversation if I need to yell? I turn the sink faucet on full blast, sit against the wall farthest from the door, put my sweatshirt over my head, and hold the mic up to my mouth.
“I’m out with friends.” I wince. “And I need a bottle of vodka.”
“Mel!” HJ cackles. I can tell she pulls the phone away from her face briefly while she laughs. “And you think beer is gross!”
“Can you get a bottle at the bar and meet me out front in a few minutes?”
“How do you know where I am?”
“It’s Saturday night. Will you?”
“Pats would kill me if she found out!”
“You said I should be a teenager before it’s too late.”
“Yeah, but hiding it from the grown-ups is part of the experience!”
“Next time I will, I promise. I’m just in a hurry and can’t explain. Will you?”
She doesn’t answer. The line isn’t quiet, though. It sounds like human static on full blast.
“All right. One time only! Call when you’re out front!”
“Thanks! See you soon.”
*
When David and I get in his car, I say, “Sorry I have to go.”
“It’s okay. Where to?”
“The Rockin’ Pony. You know where it is?”
“Just up the road. Why there?”
“It’s those friends I told you about the other day, the ones having a hard time.”
“They have fake IDs?”
“No, they’re on the beach. I need to pick up something from my aunt first.”
I don’t say more. He’ll see soon enough. I’ll deal with it then.
“It’s okay,” he says after a moment. “You don’t have to get into it. I don’t mean to pry.”