My heart thundered in my chest. My pappa tapped the sealed box. “There’s a letter in there I was told to tell you to read first. Then a few boxes. They’re numbered in the order you have to open them.”
My pappa got to his feet. As he went to leave, I gripped onto his hand. “Thank you,” I said hoarsely. Pappa leaned forward and kissed my head.
“Love you, son,” he said softly.
“Love you too,” I replied, and meant every word. Things this week had been easier between us. If Poppy’s short life had taught me anything, it was that I had to learn to forgive. I had to love and I had to live. I’d blamed my pappa for so much for so long. In the end my anger caused only pain.
Moonbeam hearts and sunshine smiles.
My mamma kissed me on my cheek. “We’ll be outside if you need us, okay?” She was worried about me. But there was also a part of her that had relaxed. I knew it was the bridge I’d built with my pappa. I knew it was the release of all my harbored anger.
I nodded and waited until they had gone. It took fifteen minutes until I could bring myself to open the box. Immediately, I saw the letter on top.
It took me ten minutes more to break its seal:
Rune,
Let me start by saying how much I love you. I know you knew that; I don’t think there is a person on the planet that didn’t see just how perfect we were for each other.
However, if you’re reading this letter, it means I am home. Even as I write this, know that I’m not scared.
I guess the last week has been bad for you. I imagine it has been an effort to even take a breath, to get out of bed each day—I know, because that’s how I would feel in a world devoid of you. But even though I understand, it pains me that my absence will do this to you.
The hardest part was watching those I love crumble. The worst part for me, with you, was watching the anger burn within. Please, do not allow that to happen again.
If only for me, continue to be the man you have become. The best man I know.
You will see that I have given you a box.
I asked your pappa to help me weeks and weeks ago. I asked him to help me—he did so without a second thought. Because he loves you so very much.
I hope you know this now too.
In the box there will be another large envelope. Please open it now, then I will explain.
My heart raced as I gently placed Poppy’s letter on my bed. With shaking hands, I reached into the box and pulled out the large envelope. Needing to see what she had done, I quickly broke the seal. Reaching inside, I pulled out a letter. My eyebrows pulled down in confusion, then I saw the letterhead, and my heart completely stopped:
New York University. Tisch School of the Arts.
My eyes scanned down the page, and I read:
Mr. Kristiansen, On behalf of the admissions committee, it is my honor and privilege to share with you that you have been admitted to our Photography & Imaging program…
I read the entire letter. I read it twice.
Not understanding what was happening, I scrambled to find Poppy’s letter and read on.
Congratulations!
I know that right now you will be confused. Those dark-blond eyebrows I adore so much will be pulled down and that scowl that you wear so well will be etched on your face.
But it’s okay.
I expect you to be shocked. I expect you to resist at first. But, Rune. You won’t. This school has been your dream since we were kids, and just because I am no longer there to live my dream alongside you, it does not mean that you should sacrifice yours.
Because I know you so well, I also know that in my final weeks, you will have abandoned everything to stay by my side. I love you for that more than you will ever understand. The way you cared for me, protected me … the way you held me in your arms and kissed me so sweetly.
There is nothing I would change.
But I know that your love would sacrifice your future.
I couldn’t let that happen. You were born to capture those magical moments, Rune Kristiansen. I have never seen a talent like yours. I have also never seen someone so passionate about anything. You are meant to do this.
I had to make sure it happened.
This time, I had to carry you.
Before I ask you to look at something else, I want you to know that it was your pappa who helped me assemble your portfolio to secure your place. He has also paid for the first semester’s tuition as well as your dorms. Even when you continued to hurt him, he did this so selflessly it brought me to tears. He did this with so much pride in his eyes that it floored me.
He loves you.
You are loved beyond measure.
Now, please open box number one.
Swallowing back fraying nerves, I took hold of the labeled box and pulled it open. Inside was a portfolio. I flicked through the pages. Poppy and my pappa had pulled together picture after picture of landscapes, sunrises, sunsets. In truth, the work I was most proud of.
But then, when I reached the last page, I stilled. It was Poppy. It was the picture of Poppy on the beach with me all those months ago. The one where she had turned to me at the most perfect moment, allowing me to capture her on film—a picture that spoke to her beauty and grace more than any words could do.