He didn’t look back but broke into a run, not seeing Miss Grey anywhere. She must have gone inside.
As soon as he walked in, Mrs. Atherton stopped him. “Mr. Langdon, I was just looking for you. I wanted to speak with you about the parish here at Donnerly and the living that has become vacant. Mr. Atherton and I are trying to decide whom to offer it to. Can you tell me of any worthy rectors who might be interested? I wanted to get your opinion of some of the candidates.”
“Mrs. Atherton,” he broke in when she finally paused to take a breath, “may I speak with you about this later? I am in a hurry—”
“Oh no, for I only have a minute myself before I have to go get ready for the ball, and you do as well, for it is getting very late. Believe me, it will only take a moment.”
Nicholas clenched his teeth and followed his hostess into what appeared to be her husband’s office. There she listed what seemed like a hundred prospective clergymen for the vacant living.
“Mr. Langdon? Are you listening?”
“Mrs. Atherton, I wholeheartedly recommend Mr. Killigrew. I know him personally, and he is an honorable man, and now I believe we both of us have barely enough time to get ready for the ball, so I bid you good day until then.” He bowed formally but quickly.
“Oh, of course, Mr. Langdon. You must get yourself dressed and ready, and so must I.”
He left the room as she was still speaking.
Julia made it to the house without Mr. Langdon even calling out to her. She went more slowly up the stairs to her room, hoping he might catch up to her. After all, the tête-à-tête he was having with Mrs. Tromburg might not have been his doing.
But what if Mr. Langdon had asked Julia to meet him there so he could tell her that he was marrying his former fiancée? Julia quickly closed her door behind her.
It made sense. He had once loved Mrs. Tromburg, had once planned to marry her. And she was very beautiful. Julia could understand how a man could be blinded by beauty and artifice and marry someone who was completely wrong for him. He wouldn’t be the first man to succumb. And besides, he might feel badly that she had been left with such a small jointure, hardly enough to live on.
It was silly of Julia to think he might want to marry a governess with no fortune or connections. An orphan whose guardian was a traitor. Unloved and unlovable.
Julia felt dizzy and realized she’d hardly eaten anything all day. So she closed her door and went down to the kitchen to see if the cook and kitchen maid would be more polite than usual when she asked for tea. After all, it was her last day.
Nicholas reached Julia’s door. Finally. He knocked but there was no answer. He knocked again and called softly, “Miss Grey.” Still nothing.
Someone was coming, so he started back down the stairs and passed a maid going up. She smiled flirtatiously at him as she passed.
Either Miss Grey was too angry to answer his knock, or she wasn’t in her room. And he was running out of time before the ball. He would simply have to write her a note and shove it under her door. He couldn’t stand outside her room all evening. The servants would be talking about it, and so would the guests, by tomorrow morning.
He simply had to speak to her. He couldn’t wait. In case he didn’t see her at the ball, he would write to her and ask her to meet him, first thing tomorrow morning.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Julia brought her tea up to her room to eat in peace and silence, but somehow, the room seemed lonelier than ever. The tea was comforting, and she sipped it slowly while staring at her bag and trunk, already packed and waiting to leave with her at dawn.
She had missed her chance to speak to Mr. Langdon in the garden, so perhaps she would attend the ball after all. It could be the last time she would ever see him.
Perhaps she should also write him a letter. In a letter she could thank him, and also apologize to him, and wouldn’t have to fear what he would say or how he would look.
She went to her tiny desk and began to write:
Mr. Langdon,
Please don’t think me too forward for writing you this letter. I am sorry I was not able to speak with you, as you expressed a wish to, but I must leave at dawn, at Mrs. Atherton’s orders, to go to my new position as a teacher at the Cumberland School for Girls in Kent. Because of this circumstance, I hope you will excuse me.