“You are not well enough to write, Julia. Depend upon it, when they discover how seriously ill you have been, and how you were left nearly alone in the house, they will be wracked with remorse.”
Would they? She had always longed for their love, had tried so hard to earn it by being good and prudent and respectable, by helping Phoebe in every possible way, by showing she was grateful to them for taking her in and providing every advantage of society and education.
Now the prospect of their love was impossible, as she had betrayed them so completely by turning over evidence of Mr. Wilhern’s treasonous activities.
“You must rest and recover from this. When you are quite well you shall come visit me in Lincolnshire, and I shall visit you and Phoebe in Warwickshire.”
Julia expressed her joy at the prospect of the visits, but of course, it could never be.
Later that week, while Julia continued her recovery, Leorah regaled her with a story from the day before, of how she had ridden her horse in Hyde Park and almost run down a somber-looking gentleman. He’d seen her coming and had sprung out of the way as if he were certain she meant to do him harm. In doing so, he had lost his hat, which went rolling into the path of an oncoming carriage. The man had been furious, accusing Leorah of being wild and completely without propriety.
“Truly, I was sorry to have caused him to spoil his hat,” Leorah said, “but he looked as if he could afford a new one. Besides, he had plenty of time to move out of my way. He shouldn’t have jumped aside so suddenly as to lose his hat. My horse wouldn’t have hit him if he’d only stood still. When he insulted me in that haughty manner, I ceased to feel sorry for him.”
Julia laughed quietly, and it didn’t even cause a coughing fit.
What would it be like to be Leorah, completely free and easy with her manners and behavior, unafraid of what anyone might say about her conduct, unfettered by society’s rules when they seemed silly to her? Julia had never felt free and easy a day in her life. She had always concerned herself with society’s rules, obeying and conforming so that her aunt and uncle would approve of her, paying the utmost attention to what she said and did to ensure she had the best chance at an advantageous marriage. And yet how little benefit it had been to her.
Still, Julia couldn’t quite imagine throwing caution to the wind and behaving like Leorah.
At one time, she had thought her decorous behavior was the only kind that would please God. But she couldn’t imagine God being displeased with Leorah. Leorah was kind and good and completely without artifice or ill will. She was energetic and didn’t always conform to polite society’s idea of how a young lady should conduct herself, but perhaps those things had nothing to do with achieving God’s approval. Didn’t God see inside a person’s heart and judge them for their thoughts and motives? God’s ways were not man’s ways. It was starting to seem obvious to her that polite society’s rules and God’s requirements were completely different.
Leorah demonstrated how the gentleman had walked across the street and picked up his hat, and the scowl on his face when he stared at it and then at Leorah. Julia was sitting in bed, propped up by pillows and laughing, when Phoebe burst through the door.
“Julia!” Phoebe cried. “Leorah wrote to us that you were unwell. Oh, Leorah.” She turned to Leorah and clasped her hands. “Thank you so much for taking care of Julia!”
Leorah said, “Julia was gravely ill with a lung infection, but she is much better now, as you can see.”
Mrs. Wilhern stood in the doorway. She did not proceed any farther into the room, and she had the thin-lipped look of disapproval that used to make Julia’s heart sink.
Phoebe turned her vivacity on Julia and said, “You do look a bit pale, Julia, but not so very sick.”
What answer could she make to that?
“You said the servants had all deserted her except the scullery maid,” Mrs. Wilhern stated, one hand on her hip and the other poised in the air by her shoulder, as if she were being fitted for a gown.
“Yes, that is correct,” Leorah said.
“The servants are all here now. I’ve just seen them for myself.”
Julia nearly gasped as her aunt questioned Leorah’s word.
“Well, Mrs. Wilhern,” Leorah stated, unintimidated, “that was not the case seven days ago when I found Julia here so ill she was hallucinating, burning up with fever, and without anyone to attend her except a kind scullery maid named Kitty.”
“Oh dear!” Phoebe cried, covering her mouth with her hand and staring down at Julia with wide eyes.
“She was quite alone, she and Kitty, until I discovered her plight and my brother brought our physician. Dr. Alcott was most concerned and told us that she was very seriously ill with pleurisy and a lung infection, and her recovery was by no means certain.” Leorah stared straight into Mrs. Wilhern’s eyes.