Phoebe raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “How?”
Julia shook her head, remembering again how she had deliberately tried to flirt with Mr. Dinklage because of what Sarah Peck had said. “I should never have smiled so much at him and encouraged him to ask me to dance when I didn’t have a strong attraction to him. It was wrong of me, and I’m afraid I’ve hurt him worse than he has hurt me.”
“Only because you flirted with him? Julia, this is too much. How can you blame yourself? Everyone flirts. Flirting isn’t a crime.”
“But a young lady should never try to gain a man’s affections by flirting when she feels no attachment to him. It is wrong. I would not take it lightly if a lady did that to my brother, for instance.”
“But you don’t have a brother, Julia.”
“No, but if I did . . . The point is, a lady shouldn’t go around breaking hearts and treating men’s affections lightly.”
Phoebe looked up to the ceiling and sighed dramatically. She stood and walked in a circle in the space between Julia’s bed and dressing table. She continued her circular path while she talked. “You exasperate me, Julia. It’s as if you were born good, born an old woman rather than a girl.”
“That isn’t a very flattering thing to say.”
“Then admit that you enjoyed flirting with Mr. Dinklage.”
“On the contrary, I felt guilty and afraid that someone would read my thoughts and call me a hypocrite.” Or at least a flirt who was only after the wealthiest husband, as Mr. Langdon most assuredly thought. “After all the times I told you not to flirt or give attention to any man without great discretion . . . and yet there I was, flirting with a man I wasn’t even sure I would accept should he ask me to marry him.”
Phoebe laughed. “I guess you aren’t perfect after all.” She smirked, and Julia had a sudden urge to tweak her nose.
“No, Phoebe, I’m not perfect. But I suppose I can be thankful Mr. Dinklage’s mother didn’t approve of me, so that I wouldn’t have to admit to him that I don’t love him and don’t wish to marry him.”
Phoebe threw her arms around Julia. “I can’t imagine any man not falling in love with you. I’m sure I love you as much and more than I could love any sister.” She pressed her cheek against Julia’s.
Julia’s heart swelled with love for the impulsive girl. She was the one person in all the world who actually loved her.
Phoebe released her. “I must go. I am going riding with Maria Cotter and her brother in an hour.”
“Even after you called her a liar?”
“Oh, she never minds what I say. Besides, she said she would look like a ninny going riding with only her brother.”
Phoebe opened the door to find a servant in the hall, who curtsied to her and then handed Julia a letter.
“For you, miss.”
“Good-bye, Julia.” Phoebe skipped down the hall.
Julia closed the door and focused on her letter. It was from Sarah. Julia opened it and started to read.
My dear Julia,
I am getting to know my new pupils and enjoying teaching them—mostly. The boys are not very scholarly or interested in books, but one of the daughters, Catherine, is a sweet-tempered girl who likes to please me. Her brothers, however, make her cry at least once a day. They can be so trying.
Truly, I was very lonely in my first days here and missed you and Phoebe and the rest of the Wilhern household most keenly. However, my employer’s son, Mr. William, has been very attentive to me. Can you believe we are the same exact age, born on the same day? He brings me little gifts—nothing that I shouldn’t accept, lest you scold me, dear Julia—a flower from the garden or some printed papers. He is home from school and hopes to become a barrister in a year or two. I’ve never met anyone so humble and sweet. He doesn’t mind that I am a governess. He seems to enjoy my company and seeks me out when I’m in the garden taking my walk in the mornings. I must confess, I look forward to our conversations more than anything, and I’m certain my life would be one long drudgery if not for Mr. William. Therefore, you mustn’t scold me, Julia. I just cannot do without this innocent distraction, for it is completely innocent.
And now I am most anxious to hear how things stand between you and Mr. Dinklage. It is my greatest wish to receive a letter from you saying that you have been able to engage Mr. Dinklage’s affections, and he yours, and you are to be married as soon as the banns have been read.
God bless you, Julia, for your friendship to me.
Yours devotedly,
Sarah Peck