A Spool of Blue Thread

“But I thought it was just his appendix!”

 

 

“I know,” he said. “I went to his room but he wasn’t there, and the guy in the next bed said he’d been moved to Intensive Care. So I went to Intensive Care but they wouldn’t let me see him, and I was thinking I’d just leave and come back later when all at once this doctor walked out and told me they had lost him. He said they’d worked all night and they’d done what they could but they lost him: peritonitis.”

 

Something made Abby turn her head, and she saw Douglas in the kitchen doorway. He was gazing up into Red’s face. Abby said, “Oh, sweetheart.” She and Red exchanged glances. How much had he understood? Probably nothing, if you judged by his hopeful expression.

 

Red said, “Son …”

 

“It won’t come through to him,” Abby said.

 

“But we can’t keep it a secret.”

 

“He’s too young,” Abby said, and then she asked Douglas, “How old are you, sweetheart?”

 

Neither of them really expected an answer, but after a pause, Douglas held up two fingers. “Two!” Abby cried. She turned back to Red. “I was thinking three,” she said, “but he’s two years old, Red.”

 

Red sank onto a kitchen chair. “Now what?” he asked her.

 

“I don’t know,” Abby said.

 

She sat down across from him. Douglas went on watching them.

 

“You still have the keys, right?” she asked Red. “You’ll have to go back to the apartment, look for papers. Find Lonesome’s next of kin.”

 

Red said okay and stood up again, like an obedient child.

 

Then Peg Brown honked out back, and Abby rose to let Denny in.

 

That evening when she was in Denny’s room, getting Douglas ready for bed, Denny asked her, “Mama?”

 

“What.”

 

“When is that little boy going home?”

 

“Very soon,” she told him. He was hanging around her in a too-close, insistent way, still fully dressed because it wasn’t quite his bedtime yet. “Go on downstairs,” she told him. “Find yourself something to do.”

 

“Tomorrow is he going?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

She waited till she heard his shoes clopping down the stairs, and then she turned back to Douglas. He was sitting on the edge of the bed in his pajamas, looking very neat and clean. That night he’d had a bath, although she had let him skip it the night before. She sat down on the bed beside him and said, “I know I told you that you’d get to see your daddy today. But I was wrong. He couldn’t come.”

 

Douglas’s gaze was fixed on some middle distance. He appeared to be holding his breath.

 

“He wanted to, very much. He wanted to see you, but he couldn’t. He can’t.”

 

That was it, really—the most a two-year-old would be able to comprehend. She stopped speaking. She placed an arm around him, tentatively, but he didn’t relax against her. He sat separate and erect, with perfect posture. After a while she took her arm away, but she went on looking at him.

 

He lay down, finally, and she covered him up and placed a kiss on his forehead and turned out the light.

 

In the kitchen, Denny and Jeannie were bickering over a yo-yo, but Mandy looked up from her homework as soon as Abby walked in. “Did you tell him?” she asked. (She was thirteen, and more in touch with what was going on.) “Well, as much as I could,” Abby said.

 

“Did he say anything?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Maybe he doesn’t know how to talk.”

 

“Oh, he has to know how,” Abby said. “It’s just that he’s upset right now.”

 

“Maybe he’s retarded.”

 

“But I know he understands me.”

 

“Mom!” Jeannie broke in. “Denny says this is his yo-yo, when it’s not. He broke his. Tell him, Mom! It’s mine.”

 

“Stop it, both of you.”

 

The back door opened and Red stepped in, carrying another grocery bag. All he had said on the phone was to go ahead and eat without him, so Abby’s first question was “What’d you find?”

 

He set the bag on the table. “The sitter’s this ancient old lady,” he told her. “Her number was Scotch-taped above the phone. By the sound of her, she was way too old to be in charge of a kid. She doesn’t know if he has any relatives, and she doesn’t know where his mother is and says she doesn’t want to know. He’s better off without her, she says.”

 

“Weren’t there any other numbers?”

 

“Doctor, dentist, Whitshank Construction.”

 

“Not the mother? You’d think at least Lonesome would know how to reach her in case of emergency.”

 

“Well, if she’s traveling, Ab …”

 

“Ha,” Abby said. “Traveling.”

 

Red inverted the grocery bag over the table. More clothes fell out, and two plastic trucks, and a thin sheaf of papers. “Automobile title,” he said, picking up one of the papers. “Bank statement,” picking up another. “Douglas’s birth certificate.”

 

Abby held out her hand and he gave her the birth certificate. “Douglas Alan O’Brian,” she read aloud. “Father: Lawrence Donald O’Brian. Mother: Barbara Jane Eames.”

 

She looked up at Red. “Were they not married?”