“Well, you do,” Cammy says, sternly.
Ever looks angry and upset, and I hope I’m not causing this. Though, by the looks of the way she’s dressed, she isn’t a happy, chipper person, in general. Feeling nervous, I walk over and sit down next to her on the couch. “Happy birthday, kiddo,” I tell her. “Today’s the big day, huh?”
“How do you know?” she asks with a small snarl.
“I would never forget. Plus, every year on your birthday, I buy a cupcake, light the candle, and make a wish for you.” I look up at Cammy while saying this, wondering if she has done anything every year on Ever’s birthday. Whether she has or not, I don’t know, but her hand is cupped over her mouth and tears are welling up in her eyes again. She turns and walks toward one of the adjacent rooms and closes the door behind her.
“You do that?” Ever asks me.
“Every year,” I tell her.
Looking at me for a long moment, I watch a range of emotions pass through her eyes. Then she leans back into the couch and utters, “That’s lame.”
“Maybe,” I snap back. “But I’ll do it for the rest of my life.”
“Whatever,” she says.
It’s not hard to tell Ever’s going through a lot of shit right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to sit here until I can get her to smile, even if it’s a tiny smile. I need to see her smile. She has jet-black hair, like me, and like Cameron said, my eyes. She has Cameron’s pouty lips and fair skin. Ever looks a lot younger than thirteen, but she’s dressed like she’s eighteen and miserable. With black leggings and a matching black shirt lined with some kind of silver studs, I’m having trouble imagining that those prim and proper people who adopted her allowed Ever to dress this way. She has dark red lipstick and thick eye makeup, nothing a thirteen-year-old should be wearing. And the piercings in her ears and nose are too much.
“Is your favorite color black?” I ask her.
“Obviously,” she snaps back.
“Do you like pizza? Because that’s my favorite food, and I was wondering if that was a genetic thing.”
“Who doesn’t like pizza?”
“Hunter, my brother—that weirdo doesn’t like pizza.”
In response, I get a raised brow and a spiteful smirk.
“What do you think about Connecticut?” I ask her.
“It’s boring.”
“I know, right?” I relax into the couch and put my foot up on the coffee table.
“Look, I get it. You’re making small talk so you can learn all about the daughter you never knew you had. It’s nice, really, but you don’t owe me anything, and you don’t need to make such an annoying effort to know me.”
I clear my throat in order to swallow the anger re-rising in the pit of my stomach. “So, I knew about you, like I said. I wasn’t lying about the cupcake on your birthday. I actually already have one in my fridge at home waiting for me to light tonight. I pretty much dreamed of the day I’d get to see you again and ask you all of these lame questions, so you’ll have to excuse my attempt to get to know you, but it’s something I have to do because I’ve wanted to since the day you were born.”
“If you wanted to ask me these questions, why didn’t you ever try to find me?”
“I wasn’t allowed to, Ever. That’s how adoption works.”
“Why did you give me up?” She isn’t holding back, and I can’t say I blame her.
“I was only four years older than you are now when you were born. I had no money, no job, no way to raise you.”
“That’s what she said too,” Ever nods her head to the other room.
I grab the remote from the coffee table and power the TV on. I flip through a few stations until I come across one of those home-movie blooper shows and I settle back into the couch, matching her disposition while keeping my focus set on the TV, in order to give her the minute to breathe she must need.
The entire time she’s watching, I keep my focus on her through my peripheral vision. I won’t waste a second of this opportunity to take her all in. As hard as it is to comprehend, this little girl who I haven’t seen in thirteen years, who I know almost nothing about, is surely the missing piece of my heart because right this second, my heart feels full, it feels whole and more alive than it’s ever felt. Even if she wants nothing to do with me, even if she just wants to hate me, I will let her, as long as I can be a part of her life in some way. Maybe I’m the only one of us who feels a connection, but it’s there and it’s strong, and it’s the most amazing thing in the whole fucking world to me.
A few minutes go by when my phone buzzes in my pocket, bringing me back to the fact that life exists outside of this hotel room. I look at the display, seeing Tori’s face show up, then I look at Ever for a brief second, who’s looking at me and probably wondering why I’m looking at her. This must be such a confusing situation for her. God, what a mess.