She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and tilts her head to the side, her gaze blazing into me as if she’s summoning all of my thoughts. “I’ve seen you stressed-out—football tryouts, your internship interview last year, midterms, finals, and college applications. But it’s the end of your senior year, you have a scholarship to your college of choice, and a girl…a friend who idolizes the ground you walk on—speaking of which, I haven’t seen Cammy for a while, is everything still okay with her? Is that what this is all about, sweetie? Did you two have a fight? Because it’s normal for friends to fight. I’m sure it must be stressful thinking about going to school in different states. You said she got into George Washington University, right? University of Rhode Island is only an eight-or-so-hour drive; you can still see each other during holidays and vacations back at home. Your father and I made it work, and your brother and Ellie are sticking it out, so I’m sure you can—”
“Mom…” I interrupt her. “Please stop. We’re just friends, like I’ve told you a million times.” Hunter and Ellie have basically been married since they were eight years old, so there’s no surprise there. Plus, their colleges are less than an hour away from each other. Doesn’t count as long distance.
“Oh,” she says softly. “Well, if you’re feeling unwell about this situation, maybe it means you might feel a little more strongly for her than you think.” More strongly than I think because, I ah, knocked her up. Oh, and then she decided to give our daughter away without discussing it with me. I’m pretty sure that might be worse than an argument between friends.
“I guess we are in some kind of fight, and I might owe her an apology, so I was going over to her house to talk about it.” There, not a lie.
“I see,” Mom says. “Well, tell her parents I say hello. Actually, wait a second.” Mom turns around and takes a loaf of bread from the cooling rack on the top of the stove. “Juuuust one second.” She retrieves a thin towel from the cabinet above her head and wraps the loaf up. “Take this to them.” Mom hands me the bread, and all I can think about is the conversation I should have with her parents—that being: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Sky, I impregnated your daughter. This was all my fault, even though she’s hidden the truth from you and everyone we know for the past nine months. However, I’d like to offer you some bread in exchange for your forgiveness. “I do wish I had been given the chance to spend some time with Cammy’s parents.” I would have liked to spend time with Cammy’s parents too, but that never happened before she got pregnant and it definitely didn’t happen after she got pregnant. Friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, whatever, it’s been two years, and they wouldn’t know who I was if they were standing right in front of me.
“They work a lot,” I tell Mom.
“That’s too bad,” she says. Mom has a different mindset than a lot of my friends’ parents. It seems like the housewife/stay-at-home-mother lifestyle is a thing of the past around this area. Most of my friends have two working parents with how high the cost of living is here. I think the only reason Mom doesn’t have to work is because Dad won some lawsuit twenty years ago and paid the house off. Plus, Dad works absurd hours, and his carpentry business is the biggest in this district. Still, we don’t live like gold or anything, but we’re comfortable and we have food on the table, as well as a roof over our heads. We may only be considered middle-class compared to the high-income families here, but I don’t see it as an issue.
“I’ll be home before dinner,” I tell her. Mom kisses me on the forehead and pulls me in for a hug. “Goodness, I’m going to miss you when you go to Rhode Island next year. You’re my baby. The house is going to be so empty with both you and Hunter gone. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself!” These comments are on repeat. They have been since Hunter went back to school after Christmas break. We’re three years apart, and he still has another year college left, but even though I think she’s hoping he’ll move home after graduation, Hunter has a plan, and that isn’t moving home. If I had to take a guess, he’ll drop a ring on Ellie’s finger, knock her up, then they’ll buy a nice little house down the street and live happily ever after. Mom will be okay with that too, because then she’ll have grandkids. Grandkid…she should have had grandkids, but her first grandchild will never meet her or even know of her.
I pull away from her tight grip and head out the door.
The drive is short, but the neighborhoods are drastically different; mine being middle-class and hers being more wealthy. I never feel like I belong here, but even more so now as I walk up her long driveway with a pit my stomach. I ring the bell and wait the moment it takes for the door to open. “Hello, can I help you?” A woman who looks exactly like Cammy, but twenty-five or thirty years older, greets me. She has the same auburn hair and the same shade of golden brown eyes.
“I’m—um—” What if Cammy finally told them who the father is—was… “I’m AJ, Cammy’s friend. I was just stopping by to see how she’s doing.”
Mrs. Sky eyes me wearily and opens the door wider. “She’s upstairs. AJ, you said?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” God, she knows. Now I’m going to pray that her dad isn’t home too.
“Cammy used to mention your name a lot last year. I haven’t heard much of you since. It’s nice to put a face to the name she used to be so fond of.” Mrs. Sky smiles faintly and places her hand on my back as I walk inside. “Go on, maybe you can cheer her up a little.”