A Million Little Things (Mischief Bay, #3)

“I have to agree with you,” Miguel told her. “In the past few years, I’ve found my interests turning elsewhere. As you said, I need someone I can talk to as well as make love with.”

There was that voice again, she thought as she felt a slight shiver. What a great evening! It was like dinner and a show, all in one. She was sure that Miguel had his pick of women and even if he’d given up the twenty-year-olds, she doubted he’d gone much older. Not that she was interested. But she had to admit, hanging out with him was fascinating.

“Zoe must be relieved,” she teased. “At least your girlfriends won’t be asking to borrow her clothes.”

He grinned. “That will please her. And speaking of men and women, I noticed Zoe spending time with your son. Did you have something to do with that?”

“I might have given a gentle push.”

“Steven seems like a good man.” Miguel’s mouth twisted. “Unlike her last boyfriend.”

She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I know about Chad. Talk about a nightmare. I can’t believe how long he strung her on.”

“He’s the one who should be strung up,” Miguel said. “She tells me to stay out of it, but she’s my daughter.”

“Of course you feel protective. Steven’s father passed away two years ago. While Steven had always planned to take over the company one day, he hadn’t thought it would be for years.”

She thought about those dark times, how she’d been devastated to the point of being unable to function. “He was there for me, for all of us. John’s death changed him. I think Zoe’s lucky to have him.”

“Said with a mother’s love.”

“I like to think I’m offering an independent opinion.”

“I’m sure you do.”

He smiled at her. It was a great smile—full of charm and promise. When he looked at her, it was as if he was genuinely interested. A woman could get used to that kind of thing.

She knew that he was simply being who he was—an actor of sorts. A man used to being the center of attention. His job would have required him to have social flair and he’d been incredibly successful.

Their server appeared with their first course. Delicate scallops on greens with a blood orange reduction. The champagne was replaced with a sauvignon blanc.

“Do you still miss your husband?” Miguel asked.

“Yes, but it’s different now. I have a full life I enjoy very much. Friends, my children, my grandson. I have my work at MWF. When John first died, I found it hard to breathe.” She picked up her fork. “That sounds so dramatic when I say it now, but I assure you, it was true at the time. I couldn’t do anything. For thirty years, I’d been John’s wife. Without him, who was I?”

“How did you overcome that?”

“For a while I wasn’t sure I ever would. I can’t describe what I went through. Just moving forward, living my life, I couldn’t do. I was faking being alive every day for the sake of my children.”

How odd, she thought. While she didn’t keep her past a secret, she wasn’t usually so open with someone she barely knew. There was something about Miguel that she trusted, she supposed. Or maybe it was the way he looked at her, as if every word was incredibly important.

“You are a strong woman,” he murmured.

“No, I’m not. Or I wasn’t.” She hesitated, then put down her fork and lowered her voice. “We’d booked a cruise before he died. Afterward, I didn’t remember until our boarding passes turned up in his email. I was stunned. I didn’t know what to do. At first I was going to cancel, but then I realized the cruise was the perfect escape.”

“Escape?”

“From the pain. The emptiness. If I couldn’t go on, then I wouldn’t. I decided to kill myself. Throw myself off the ship. My children would think it was an accident, and while it would be hard on them, they would get over it.” She shook her head. “It’s funny when I say the words now. They seem so surreal and ridiculous. But I meant them at the time.”

“You obviously changed your mind.”

“I did. I met three wonderful women who were also widows. We became friends. I saw beautiful sights and began to understand that I could keep moving forward, even without John. I recognize the irony of the fact that deciding to kill myself was when I started healing. I love him, of course. I’ll always be John’s wife, but I’ve found my way without him.”

She tilted her head. “Oh, my. I haven’t told many people what my real plans were for the cruise. I’m not sure why I told you.”

“I will keep your secret, Pamela.” His dark gaze was steady. “You are an impressive woman.”

She laughed. “I wish that were true. I’m ordinary at best.”

“Far from that. I’m sure the men you date tell you that.”

“Men?” Was he kidding? “There aren’t any men.”

“Why not?”

“Because. I’m a grandmother. I’m not interested in that sort of thing.”

“We’re all interested in that sort of thing. Besides, you’re a young woman.”

“I’m fifty-two.”

“I am nearly sixty. We have many years ahead of us.” His expression turned quizzical. “You really aren’t seeing anyone?”

“No. Seeing someone?” She shook her head. “I don’t date. That would be ridiculous.”

Miguel studied her for a second, then pointed to her plate. “You should try the scallop. It’s delicious.”

The rest of the meal passed quickly. Pam refused the last two glasses of wine. She wanted to make sure she could drive home without a problem. The food was excellent, the company even better. Miguel entertained her with stories of his travels. They talked about their children when they’d been young. She was shocked to find that it was nearly midnight when they finally left the restaurant.

“Lulu is going to be very unhappy with me for leaving her alone for so long,” she said as they waited at the valet station for their cars. The night was cool and dark and they were the only ones standing there.

“The leftovers will go a long way to soothing her feelings,” he told her.

Pam laughed. “I suspect you’re right. Lulu is very sweet, but she’s not exactly emotionally deep.”

“I had an enjoyable evening with you tonight,” he said.

“I did, as well. Thank you again for dinner.”

“So how was it?”

“The meal?”