Dan’s smile faded, and he dropped his arms to his sides. “I see.” Leaning against the counter, he sighed pensively and said, “I’d do just about anything in this world for you, Rorie, but I think it’s time we faced a few truths.”
Rorie had wanted to confront them long before now.
“You’re never going to love me the way you do that horseman. We can’t go on like this. It isn’t doing either of us any good to pretend your feelings are going to change.”
He looked so grim and discouraged that she didn’t point out that he was the one who’d been pretending.
“I’m so sorry to hurt you—it’s the last thing I ever wanted to do,” she told him sincerely.
“It isn’t as if I didn’t know,” he admitted. “You’ve been honest with me from the start. I can’t be less than honest with you. That country boy loves you. I knew it the minute he walked across the street without even noticing the traffic. The whole world would know,” he said ruefully. “All he has to do is look at you and everything about him shouts his feelings. He may be engaged to another woman, but it’s you he loves.”
“I wouldn’t fit into his world.”
“But, Rorie, you’re lost and confused in your own.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded. Until Dan said it, she hadn’t recognized how true that was. But it didn’t change the fact that Clay belonged to Kate. And she was marrying him within the month.
“I’m sorry,” Dan said, completely serious, “but the wedding’s off.”
She nearly laughed out loud at Dan’s announcement. No wedding had ever been planned. He’d asked her to marry him at least ten times since she’d returned from her vacation, and each time she’d refused. Instead of wearing her down as he’d hoped, Dan had finally come to accept her decision. Rorie felt relieved, but she was sorry to lose her friend.
“I didn’t mean to lead you on,” she told him, genuinely contrite.
He shrugged. “The pain will only last for a while. I’m ‘a keeper’ as the girls in the office like to tell me. I guess it’s time I put out the word that I’m available.” He wiggled his eyebrows, striving for some humor.
“You’ve been such a good friend.”
He cupped her face and gently kissed her. “Yes, I know. Now don’t let that yogurt go to waste—you’re too thin as it is.”
She smiled and nodded. When she let him out of the apartment, Rorie bolted the door then leaned against it, feeling drained, but curiously calm.
Dan had been gone only a few minutes when Rorie’s phone rang again. She hurried into the kitchen to answer it.
“Rorie? This is Kate Logan.”
“Kate! How are you?”
“Rotten, but I didn’t call to talk about me. I want to know exactly why you’re refusing to be Nightingale’s librarian—after everything I went through. I can’t believe you, Rorie. How can you do this to Clay? Don’t you love him?”
Sixteen
“Kate,” Rorie demanded. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Clay,” she said sharply, sounding quite unlike her usual self. “Now, do you love him or not? I’ve got to know.”
This day had been sliding steadily downhill from the moment Rorie had climbed out of bed that morning. To admit her feelings for Clay would only hurt Kate, and Rorie had tried so hard to avoid upsetting the other woman.
“Well?” Kate said with a sob. “The least you can do is answer me!”
“Oh, Kate,” Rorie said, her heart in her throat, “why are you asking me if I love Clay? He’s engaged to you. It shouldn’t matter one little bit if I love him or not. I’m out of your lives and I intend to stay out.”
“But he loves you.”
The tears in Kate’s voice tore at Rorie’s already battered heart. She would’ve given anything to spare her friend this pain. “I know,” she whispered.
“Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
Only the world and everything in it. “Yes,” she murmured, her voice growing stronger.
“Then how could you do this to him?”
“Do what?” Rorie didn’t understand.
“Hurt him this way!”
“Kate,” Rorie pleaded. “I have no idea what you’re talking about—I’d never intentionally hurt Clay. If you insist on knowing, I do love him, with all my heart, but he’s your fiancé. You loved him long before I even knew him.”
Kate’s short laugh was riddled with sarcasm. “What is this? First come, first served?”
“Of course not—”
“For your information, Clay isn’t my fiancé anymore,” Kate blurted, her voice trembling. “He hasn’t been in weeks...since before he went to San Francisco for the horse show.”
Rorie’s head came up so fast she wondered whether she’d dislocated her neck. “He isn’t?”
“That’s...that’s what I just told you.”
“But I thought... I assumed...”
“I know what you assumed—that much is obvious—but it isn’t like that now and it hasn’t been in a long time.”