His sleepy brown gaze held hers wordlessly for several seconds. She wasn't sure if he was aware or not until his mouth turned up at her worried frown. Then, his eyelids drifted shut. "Go to sleep, Allie," he murmured. "I'm all right."
I'm not, she'd wanted to reply. She forced herself to relax in his embrace, until a restless sleep claimed her.
She had crossed a line from which she could never return. Maybe – maybe she'd crossed it ten years past…
I'm in love with you, Brandon. There is no turning back now, for either of us – not after today.
She gripped the back of the settee, as Jay's laugh came from the bedroom once more. It drew her to the bedroom door, and she stood quietly, listening to the conversation on the other side. Jay had been with Brandon for over an hour while she'd cleaned up the dishes and straightened the house. Brandon needed to rest. She tapped lightly on the door and pushed it open.
Jay turned to look at her, laughter in his eyes. "Mama, I've beaten Mr. Gabriel four times!"
Allie smiled at his enthusiasm. "You're a good checkers player, Jay. Now, how many games did you let Mr. Gabriel win?"
Jay glanced at Brandon. "Well, he beat me twice. But I didn't let him. Honest."
Brandon laughed. "No. I beat him fair and square." He looked up at Allie, his fondness for Jay obvious. She read in his eyes that he might have beaten Jay twice 'fair and square' by the boy's reckoning, but could've had him all six games had he wanted.
The strain was evident in the taut lines around Brandon's eyes and mouth. Allie hurried to his side as he reached to help Jay gather the checkers. She didn't miss the involuntary tightening of his jaw as he sat forward.
"No, let me," she said firmly.
Brandon nodded, slumping back against the pillows.
Jay raised solemn black eyes to Brandon's face, searching his expression quickly. "We played too long."
Brandon waved him off. "It's okay. A little rest and I'll be fine."
Jay brightened. "Doc said you needed plenty of water. I'll bring you some."
"Thanks, son."
Jay turned at the door. "I like it when you call me that. When – do you think maybe I could call you Pa?" His voice was almost a whisper. "Or were you just tellin' Jimmy that to make him be quiet?"
"Jay!" Allie couldn't help but think of Jay's heartfelt wish for a father – but she wouldn't allow him to use that to tie Brandon here.
She looked from Brandon to Jay. Jay's heart was in his eyes. She prayed to God Brandon wouldn't crush him. But it was evident something powerful had passed between the two of them earlier – something she was unaware of, and she wondered about Jay's mention of Jimmy. Jimmy Smith had no business here, of all places.
She watched as Brandon took a deep, steadying breath. His answer would bind him to a decision that would change his life – if he decided to honor it.
"Right now, Jay. 'Pa' sounds mighty good – if that's what you want to call me. I'd be proud to answer to it."
Jay smiled broadly. "All right, then!" He opened the door. "I'll go get your water…Pa."
Chapter 12
She knew she looked like a fool standing in the middle of the bedroom, the cardboard checker box clutched so tightly her knuckles were turning white.
"Are you sure you want to do that, Brandon?" She couldn't keep the tremulous note of hope from her tone. By his quick glance, he had not missed it, either.
"It's not the best thing for anyone, Allie." He let out a slow sigh. "But right now – it's all I can do."
"What – what happened earlier? With Jimmy?"
Brandon related what had happened earlier in the barn. "I…told Jay I'd be his pa – for as long as I was here."
Allie took a step toward the bed. Jay had already had a world of unimaginable hurt in his short life. No matter what, she would protect him. "Do not break his heart, Brandon."
Brandon met her gaze head-on. After a moment, he shook his head. "You know I won't do that, Allie." His voice was infinitely tender. "Not if I can help it." He put out his hand, and finally, she set the box on the small table, reaching for his fingers. "I'll try my best not to break yours, either."
Was it so obvious? Her neck stiffened at his quiet words. Her feelings for him must be written across her face like an open book. His fingers were gentle, but firm on hers, holding her hand until she looked at him once more.
"You have somethin' you want to tell me, Allison? Somethin' about a herd of cattle you're buyin', and the strays you're bringing in to run 'em?"
Allie's eyes narrowed dangerously as she sank down in the chair, letting go of Brandon's fingers as if his touch seared her. "Don't call them strays! How can you?"
He'd wounded her with his assessment. But it was time for some straight talk. "Easy enough." He shifted on the bed, trying to accommodate his sore ribs. "You know their names?"
"No, but—"
"Where are they from?"
"All over—"
"How old are they?"
"The youngest is ten, the oldest fourteen." She raised her chin a notch. "Am I on trial, here?"