He hunkered back down half-way on the edge of the pew.
The question so startled her, as if Bronx had climbed into her thoughts. Or if she and Emmett had not wed at all. But no, she had paid too high a price for her marriage. She could not regret a thing. Bronx would leave on his new horse after earning some cash, and then she’d be alone again.
Married to a dead man.
“I followed him here willingly. I loved him so. After we wed, I could see how Cape Girardeau and our little log church made him restless. Had he been a knight in shining armor, he probably would have gone on Crusade and conquered a medieval castle. He needed a challenge, I suppose, like he never shirked upon going to war.” And he’d never allowed her to forget it. The deathbed vow crashed through every pore of her skin, every sinew holding her shaking bones together. That wasn’t all, but it was enough, for now. “And that’s why I keep on. Doing what I’d do if he were still here. With me.”
Bronx stood and walked around the big room. “I’m wondering. Your place tight enough for winter? I might bring some castoffs from the construction.”
“Oh, Mr. Tibbett made sure we’d weather plenty of storms.” As if it were winter still, she wrapped her arms about herself, Through her mind drifted the times Emmett had held her tight beneath the mountains of bedding to keep her warm. She shuttered her thoughts. That was all it was. Protection against the cold. Not love to be made. “I think I might get a dog to snuggle up with.”
“You? I thought—”
“I mean, for folks who come here. There’s quite some comfort in a dog.” Her heart thumped to the sad place her past sent it. Her pup. Papa. Brothers and their kids. Mama’s grave. All left behind.
A gust rattled the door frame, and Malina blew inside along with the cold. Her white face matched the snow topping the mountains, but red splotched her cheeks like dashes from a paint brush.
“The Sisters have taken in Mr. Dykstra, and I’ve paid full well for his care. They confirm his bronchial disease of the lungs, Miz Lila.”
Bronx started. “Are you well yourself, Miz Malina? Come, get some coffee.”
“Water, maybe. Please. I...I feel tired, is all.”
Lila reached for the bright cheeks. “You’re burning up with fever.” Alarm skittered. Bronx fussed with the pail of drinking water and brought Malina a cupful.
“I’ll be fine.” She gulped the water down. “It’s likely an ague. I’ll be fine.”
Worry tinged Bronx’s eyes, but he took a gentle charge. “I’ll get the bed ready back there. Extra blankets. You need to sweat this thing out, and you need rest, Miz Malina.”
“Oh, no, I can do that. I’m a little tired, is all. I’m not ill, I promise.” She trudged to the door, her gait more of an old woman than a young girl. But Lila knew full well, no one knew what burdens others bore.
“She might be contagious,” Bronx hissed after Malina shut herself in the tiny house where Emmett had dreamed such big dreams. Oh, Emmett.
“I’ll make tea to warm her.”
“It might be catchin’.”
“I know that.” Lila chewed a fingernail. “I know that well. I won’t let in anybody else tonight. I’ll stay on to make she sleeps peacefully. I’ll be secure enough behind a locked door.”
“That you will not do. Stay here alone, at least.” Bronx’s stance didn’t waver. He towered strong, hale, next to her, and for more than a brief moment, she longed to let him take charge over all. To find strength and comfort in his mere presence and...she gulped. To find the kind of contentment one found in the arms of a man.
If she weren’t married to a ghost. Once more, Bronx tended to the Pennsylvania fireplace, and she grumbled deep at the confusion surrounding her. It had rankled, day after day, year after year, Emmett giving orders and paying her wishes little mind. So why was she longing for Bronx to do just the same?
He smiled at her then, and she knew why. If she asked him to stay away, he would.
“I didn’t mean to sound so gruff, Miz Lila. I’d worry about you, is all. We’ll stay together. Both of us.”
And the glow of his kindness warmed her through. But she could already hear Miss Frieda’s cackling.
The coffee pot gurgled. Lila found her words. “I’ll check on Malina. And you, kind sir, best check on that new job of yours.”
“I best do so. I need to make a living should I intend to stay here a while.”
Chapter Nine