"You okay?" Sam asked.
Brandon turned away quickly, unable to answer. This surge of fire through his arm stole his breath for a moment. He nodded, wishing in that instant that he'd taken Owen up on his offer to stay one more day.
"I'm sorry. I should've taken more of the load."
Brandon's breath came in short spurts as the pain slowly abated to a dull throb. "No. I – should've waited another day or two before we tried this."
"Can't risk the cattle getting out. But Ben and I could do it, I bet."
Brandon didn't think so. They were strong, but young, without the hard-corded muscles that came with years of work and natural maturity. "Let's take a minute or two." He walked over to a large boulder that the drovers had rolled out of the way and sat down. It was shady where the rock lay; a natural place to sit and relax. The sound of voices drifted to Brandon, and he could tell that Ben was managing to get the boys' cooperation from the tone.
For a moment, he and Sam sat in silence until Sam flexed his own fingers in an unconscious gesture so like one Brandon would make there was no doubt Sam was his brother.
Sam turned to look at him, his mercurial eyes veiled and wary. "You got somethin' you been wantin' to say for a couple-a days now, brother." He reached for one of the mason jars of water at the base of the rock and uncapped it as he spoke. "What is it?" He handed the jar to Brandon.
Brandon took a drink, letting the cool water slide down his throat as Sam picked up the other jar and unscrewed the lid. "How did you come by the gun, Sam?"
Sam took a drink, a caustic smile curving his lips. He wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. "Don't you mean, how did I come by the way I use it, big brother?"
"I mean both," Brandon replied levelly. "There's something you haven't told me. Naturally, you can see where I might be curious."
"Worried?" Sam's voice was soft, but there was no menace in his tone as Brandon knew there would be in that one word had he spoken it to any other man. Sam had come up hard, but Brandon needed to know the details. All of them. Though Sam was blood, he was a virtual stranger. And Brandon had responsibilities to the other boys, including Jay; and to Allie. He had to know where Sam stood, and what role he expected to play – if any – in Brandon's life, and the running of this place.
Sam's eyes held his over the top of the jar as he prepared to take another drink.
"No." Brandon reached for the lid and replaced it, not screwing it tight. He waited now, to see what Sam would say.
Sam gave a self-conscious smile, unable to hold his look. "What do you want to know?"
"The truth. Every bit of it."
Sam sobered immediately, standing, his posture stiff and formal. Brandon could almost see him preparing his armor, putting it on, protecting himself from the world. It looked familiar, bringing an ache to his own chest as he watched.
"You know, if you want me to leave—"
"No more of that talk, Sam. I just want to know the truth. What you've told me – it's bits and pieces of what really happened to you, but there's more you haven't said."
"I was raised in the orphans' home—"
"Partially. But there are a lot of years unaccounted for, I'm thinking, that you haven't said anything about. I'm wondering why."
"Why's it important?'
"You tell me. It's important enough to hide. Why is it a secret?"
Sam walked a few steps away from the rock, finally letting his breath out on a low sigh that, to Brandon, seemed to speak of defeat. With the sunlight dappling his dark hair through the leaves of the trees, he seemed very young to Brandon – yet, aged in his own right. The look on Sam's face as he turned toward him revealed everything. Sam was afraid of being rejected – one more "move along" in the long line of them he'd already come up against, no doubt.
"It's no secret. Not really." Sam took a deep breath, looking Brandon in the eye. "Just a part of my life I ain't too proud of."
Brandon's own breath shortened in anticipation of what Sam was about to reveal. He hadn't realized how important it was to him – to fill in the missing parts of his brother's life; to understand what had happened. It could shape everything to come – if there had been some kind of threat to him. And, from the way he was acting, Brandon thought, that could be a very real possibility. "Let's hear it, Sam. All of it."
Sam gave a short laugh. "Next thing I know, why, you'll be askin' me to pack my shit and get the hell out of here."
Brandon's eyes narrowed. "We've already covered that. And besides, if it comes to that, there won't be any 'asking' to it."
Sam nodded, silently, his bravado gone in a flash.