At Doaa’s silence Maisam exclaimed, “Doaa! Bassem is seriously taken with you. He wants to propose to you!”
Hearing this, Doaa set down the teapot she was filling and looked at her cousin in shock. “What? So quickly? He’s only seen me twice.” In traditional Arab culture when a couple got engaged, they entered into a formal arrangement that allowed them to openly date and then decide if they were meant for marriage. But Doaa wasn’t interested in any of this.
“Twice was enough to convince him of his feelings for you.” Maisam began to make a case for his friend. “Listen, Doaa, Bassem’s a hard worker. He was successful back home. He has savings, and here he will be sure to get a good job.”
Doaa shook her head. “Bassem knows nothing about me, and in any case I’m not interested. Please let him know politely,” she said, thinking that would be the end of it. But deep down, Doaa was annoyed with Maisam, thinking that he was the one encouraging Bassem to propose so quickly. She felt put off by what seemed to her like a scheme that her cousin had concocted. She didn’t speak to Maisam for a week after their discussion.
Maisam went home and told his friend what had happened, gently suggesting that maybe he should look for someone else. Doaa was set in her ways, and she had made it clear that she wasn’t interested. Bassem took the rejection hard. According to everyone who knew him, his actions came straight from his heart. He was deeply passionate, whether fighting for his country or falling in love, but he was also fiercely protective of the people he cared about, and from the moment he first saw Doaa, he wanted to take care of her. He had arrived in Egypt alone and in grief, and Doaa was the first glimmer of light in the dark of his refugee life. In her he saw a hope for the future. He was immediately convinced that she was the one person who could make him happy. He’d never felt that way about a girl before. He was also confounded by her refusal. Doaa was also the first girl to ever turn him down. In the past girls had always approached him. He left Maisam’s apartment that day upset.
Over the next few days, Bassem did nothing but sit around the apartment feeling depressed. Maisam and Shifaa did their best to console him, urging him to be patient. He couldn’t expect a girl he’d just met to accept him right away. However, Maisam genuinely believed that Doaa and Bassem would make a good match, so he offered to speak to Hanaa on Bassem’s behalf. She could surely talk some sense into her daughter.
Hanaa was taken aback by the news at first, but then reconfirmed for Maisam that her daughter was not interested in being engaged to anyone. However, she did promise to talk to Doaa about Bassem. But when she brought up the subject, Doaa was annoyed. “I already told Maisam that I have no interest in his friend, Mama, and on top of that, no interest in marriage either!” Doaa had other things on her mind. She was working long hours to support the family, and the rest of her time was occupied with contacting her friends back home for updates on the situation in Syria. And she had her own dreams for the future that she hoped to get back on track.
“How can I get engaged to him, Mama? I didn’t leave our country just to get married without finishing my studies.”
“Of course, my dear.” Hanaa offered Doaa a hug. “I understand and support you.”
Relieved to have her mother on her side, Doaa considered the matter closed. Bassem was not the first man to propose to her, and besides, she didn’t think that he was serious about her anyway. The other men who had proposed had not been serious either; they had all given up right away once she had said no, and she’d gone right back to her work at the sewing factory.
Bassem, however, did not give up; instead he began to form a plan. He convinced Maisam to give him Hanaa’s phone number so he could speak to her directly. The first time Bassem phoned, he explained to Hanaa that he just wanted her to have his number in case she ever needed anything. But then, he started calling her daily, sometimes asking about Doaa, other times merely inquiring about the family. Hanaa liked Bassem, and the more she got to know him, the more her sympathy for him grew. He was smart, strong, devoted, and good-hearted—just like Doaa. Hanaa began to think that he was the perfect match for her headstrong daughter. She knew Doaa was stubborn and that it was hard for her to trust people. When Doaa was a little girl, that obstinacy and fear had kept her from making new friends, and now Hanaa feared that it would keep her from opening up to the possibility of love.