“Who’s the text from?”
“Gentian.” I walk closer to the window, careful not to make my body viewable from outside. The pre-dawn light makes the sky a strange color. I’m wiped and wired at the same time. A long, hard day followed by too many beers, a six-mile run, and a lovemaking session that qualifies as the best of my entire life.
All the good and bad in the world crammed into the same single day.
“Hey,” Lindsay whispers, coming up from behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. “Everything okay? Is Silas texting because there’s a problem?”
Understatement of the year.
“Your dad plans to attend our seven a.m. staff meeting.”
“But he’s in D.C.”
I shrug. “Maybe he’s on video feed. Or maybe his schedule changed. My little stunt with Blaine might have worse consequences than I anticipated.”
She sighs, hot breath tickling my shoulder blade. Pressing her cheek against my back, she melts into me. “They don’t tell me anything. I’m relieved now, though.”
“Relieved?” I text back a quick yes to Gentian, then put the phone down and press my palms against her hands. Having her touch me is an anchor.
“I think they’re happy I performed the part. They’re done with me, for a week or two at least. I smiled, I was vibrant, I played the good daughter in a highly public role. I’m not some sex-crazed kinky deviant who is an embarrassment to the good senator.”
“Lindsay,” I protest, my voice low with anger. “No one thinks that.”
A bitter laugh vibrates against my back. “Everyone thinks that, Drew. Daddy said he couldn’t believe I let it happen.” I rotate her around so she faces me.
“He said that to you? I remember Harry saying it to me.” Fury turns the room a dark shade of red, her sadness making me protective..
She blinks rapidly as she struggles to remember. “Oh. Maybe that’s when I was eavesdropping on you two.”
“When you were what? Excuse me?”
An impish smile stretches her lips and she shrugs. “It was my first day back. I was desperate.”
All I can do is sigh.
“At least I didn’t punch a California state representative,” she needles. “My only saving grace is that the news media cycle is so fast. Everyone cares more about a boy in a tiger display at a zoo than they do about me now. The media is fickle. The more boring I am, the better for Daddy.”
“You’re anything but boring.”
“You know what I mean.”
My temper flares up. “Yeah. I do. And I hate it. You’re so much more than a pretty face on a stage, filling a spot on a politician’s checkbox.”
“Am I? Are you sure?”
I tighten my hold, my thighs pressing into her hips, my cock dragging across that soft skin right above her mons. As much skin as possible needs to connect between us. If I touch her enough, I can erase time, right?
I know I can’t.
But I’ll give it my best shot.
“I’m sure.” I kiss her forehead, then both cheeks, finally settling a sweet kiss on her lips. “More than sure. You deserve your own life, Lindsay.”
“I don’t know what that even means.”
“You’ve been home barely a week. Give it time. Settle in and give yourself space.”
She grabs me, hard. “I don’t want space. Not from you.”
“Present company excepted.”
She laughs, her eyes flicking up to catch mine. “I’ve missed you. Not just you. Not just your presence. I’ve missed this.” Her palm flattens against my back, sliding up my spine as if counting the bones. “The easy way we have with each other.”
“Me, too.” Emotion overwhelms me. She cannot possibly know how deeply I’ve ached for her. Four years.
Four fucking years.
“All that anger, Drew. I was so hurt, and I hated you so much for betraying me. Knowing now that I was wrong makes me feel so ashamed. I’m sorry.”
I pull her back from me by the shoulders, my fingers gripping her hard enough to make her yelp. “Don’t you ever say that!” I hiss, the explosive emotion in me set off like an IED. “Never. I never, ever want you to feel shame for anything those bastards did to you. How you felt about me is understandable. They planted that feeling in you. They orchestrated the betrayal by your friends. They set us both up. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
I’m shaking her. I can’t stop. Some deep part of me thinks I can shake the shame out of her.
She rips herself away from me and stands a yard away, mouth twisted in fury. “I know that! I know it up here!” She taps her temple. Then her hand moves over her deliciously creamy skin, settling just above a naked breast, right over her heart. “But I don’t know it here.”
I cross the space and press my palm flat over hers.
“I do,” I whisper. “I know.”
Her eyes fill with tears.