A Dog's Way Home

Mom stood at the door for what seemed like a long time. She was so sad. I went to nuzzle her hand, which was wet from wiping her eyes. I was sorry if I had been a bad dog. “Oh, Bella, why can’t I ever do even one thing right?”


When she sat on the couch I jumped up to be with her and I put my head in her lap. I could feel some of the tension and sadness leave her. I was giving Mom comfort. This was more important than going for walks, more important than helping feed the cats—it was the most important job I had. I knew I should sit with Mom for as long as she needed me.

She stroked my fur. “You’re a good dog, Bella. A good, good dog.”

One of the house items I had learned to identify was the “phone.” It was metal and not the sort of thing I would ever want to play with, but Mom and Lucas talked about it a lot. Sometimes they held the phone to their faces and talked to me, though I never knew what meaning I was supposed to get out of that, and it never led to a treat of any kind.

While I lay cuddling with Mom, she put the phone to her cheek. “Lucas, can you talk?” she asked. I glanced up at his name. “I just … Brad was just here. No, I’m fine. I don’t know, it isn’t as if we moved here in secret, he could have found out from anybody. I had to get a little rough with him. He was … I’m not sure what he was on. Tequila for sure. And he does love the pipe. No, don’t come home, I’m okay here with Bella.”

I wagged.

“I just wanted to tell you that I was always afraid, if I saw him again, that his world would look good to me. That I’d want to go back to him, to that life. Like part of me doesn’t believe I’m really in recovery. But when he walked in I realized right then and there I will never do that again. Not to me and not to you. I almost lost you—no, listen—I know what I put you through, and I am just saying you don’t have to worry about me. Never again. Okay?” Mom listened for a while. “Yes, I’ll go up for a meeting tonight. I love you, too, honey.”

Mom put the phone down, still anxious. I climbed into her lap. Gradually, the tension left both of us.

*

The next time Lucas took me to feed the cats, I could smell there was another one hiding in there with the others, a new female. She did not come out. Cats, I realized, did not like people very much.

“So I talked to Audrey and she said they can’t do anything now because of all the NO TRESPASSING signs Gunter put up,” Lucas told his mother.

“I would think he would be happy they’re willing to try to rescue the ones remaining under there. It’s a win-win.”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking.” Lucas sighed.

“Do you need me to help with the nets she dropped off?”

“Honestly, no, I’d rather have you sitting on the porch keeping an eye out for Gunter.”

Lucas snapped the leash into my collar. Walk! We went across the street but did not have any food with us. He pushed at the fence and squeezed through a gap, then clapped his hands for me to follow, lifting me over and letting the fence flap back into place. “Ugh, you’re getting so heavy.” Lucas grunted.

He had me sit and watch while he picked up some thin blankets with little blocks of wood sewn into them. They smelled faintly of cat, and I could see his hands through the material. “Okay, are you ready, Bella?”

I wagged. Lucas unclipped my leash. “Okay, here’s your chance. Go ahead, Bella! Go!”

Lucas picked up the blankets and gestured with them. I tensed. What was I supposed to do? “I know you want to do this. Go ahead! Go see the cats!”

There was not a word in any of it I understood. I sat, trying to be a good dog.

He laughed, and I felt the love coming off him and wagged. “You can’t believe I’m letting you, can you? Okay, here.” Lucas released one handful of blanket and seized my collar. He pulled me over to the hole to the den. I could smell several cats in there, and one of them was Mother Cat. She was not close, though. I remembered the crack in the wall and wondered if she had slithered into that small hiding place.

Lucas pushed my head in the hole. I did not know what he was doing but I did not think I was a bad dog. The cats smelled afraid.

I decided to go see my mother. I sank down to my belly and squirmed through the hole, which had gotten much smaller. When I was in the den I shook myself, wagging.

A familiar panic shot through the adult cats, who acted as if they saw me as a threat. Me! As I made my way back to the hiding place they bolted as a pack, streaking for the hole.

“Ahh!” I heard Lucas yell.

I shoved my nose into the crack but could not fit myself into the hiding place. I breathed: Mother Cat was right there in the darkness. I wagged. I heard her ease forward, and then her nose briefly touched mine. She purred.

“Bella! Come!”

I turned away. I wanted my mother to come with me, but I knew she would not.

When I squeezed back out into daylight, Lucas was happy. He held the blankets off the ground, and two very surly male cats glowered at him from inside them. “Netted two of them!” he told me, grinning. I was happy because he was happy.

Back home, Lucas put the two cats in a box. They were moaning in there, their fear loud in their voices. I sniffed curiously at the lid, and when I did so, they stopped making any noise at all.

“You’d like to chase them up a tree, wouldn’t you, Bella?”

I wagged, thinking he might let me play with them. Maybe that would make them less grouchy.

Right before dinner the bell rang. I barked like I was supposed to and clearly Lucas was upset at the ringing. “Stop! Don’t bark!” he shouted, probably to warn the person to go away. I barked again. “Hey!” he snapped. He swatted my rump and I stared at him in disbelief. We were all yelling and barking because the bell rang, why was he suddenly upset at me?

I wagged when I smelled the woman on the doorstep. It was Audrey! She was happy to see me and told me I was a good dog and a big dog and then she carried the box of cats away. I thought probably she was going to take them back to the den. If that were the case, I would see them the next time Lucas let me in there.

The remnants of cats in the box were still in the air when Lucas said, “I’m going to go read,” and he and I went to lie in his bed. He had a plate next to him with such glorious fragrances I was nearly dizzy. “You want some cheese, you silly dog?” He held out a delectable morsel between his fingers and I froze, watching it intently. “Oh my God, you’re hilarious—it’s such a tiny piece of cheese!”

*

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