“Sam,” he said quietly. “What are you going to do?”
When I spoke, my voice was strong, more so than I expected it to be. “I’ve got a douchebag monologuing villain whose ass I need to kick, a kingdom to save, and a godsdamned destiny of dragons to face. You can sure as shit bet I’m going to do everything I have to.”
I didn’t look back as I left the interrogation room. Tiggy, Gary, and Ryan followed me without hesitation.
Randall and Morgan did not.
II: The Desert Dragon
Chapter 12: The Will of the Gods
THE SUN blazed above as the shadows of five travelers stretched along the worn path between mountainous red sand dunes that rose around them. The wind was fierce and unforgiving, blowing particles of sand that would scrape against any exposed skin. The land was desolate, no plant life able to withstand the extreme conditions. It was— “Holy fuck,” Gary groaned loudly. “It’s hot as motherfucking balls.”
That was more succinct than my internal narration. Because it was as hot as motherfucking balls. And when one is as hot as motherfucking balls, one tends to be uncomfortable and grouchy. “You didn’t need to come along,” I reminded him. “In fact, I told you that you didn’t. You insisted. I believe the wording you used was Sam, don’t be a dippy cunt. Of course I’m coming with you. You need me.”
“Why was your voice all high and whiny?” Gary asked. “I don’t sound anything like that.”
“Some,” Tiggy said, trudging forward, leaving large footprints in the sand behind him. He was barefoot, and I’d thought the sand would be too hot for his feet, but it hadn’t bothered him at all, the lucky bastard. I wished I could be a half-giant.
“Some?” Gary asked. “Tiggy, say it isn’t so.”
“Okay,” Tiggy said. “But I don’t lie.”
“Insolence,” Gary said. “You should carry me.”
“Your tummy sweats,” Tiggy said with a grimace. “That’s gross.”
“You’re gross,” Gary muttered.
“Sam,” Kevin rumbled above us, wings spread to try and block the worst of the sand and wind. “Would you please tell Gary that his stomach does sweat, and while I don’t find it disgusting, some other people might, and therefore he shouldn’t try forcing others to do what he wants?”
“I’m not going to do—”
“And Sam,” Gary said. “Would you please tell Kevin that not everyone wants to hear him talk with his mouth and his words, and therefore he should shut up?”
“Yeah, I don’t think I—”
“Or,” Kevin said, “you could tell Gary that maybe he should just calm the fuck down because some of us are sick of his shit?”
“I don’t know why you put me—”
“You tell Kevin that he wasn’t even invited on this adventure,” Gary hissed.
“Invited?” Kevin snapped. “Uh, excuse me, sweetheart. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but this whole adventure is about me. I’m someone’s destiny, after all. You know what your destiny is? Never getting to have a piece of this fine ass ever again. So suck it.”
“Oh nooo,” Gary mocked. “Whatever shall I do? How will I possibly survive not getting something that I’ve already had a million times over like everyone else in Verania.”
“Hey! I have a sexually adventurous spirit! You know I am a lover of many, many things. You liked it before you decided to put your head up your ass!”
“People grow up,” Gary said loftily. “Things they wanted when they were far, far younger don’t satisfy them like they used to. I am today’s mature and modern unicorn. I don’t take your shit for anything. My body, my rights. You don’t own any of this.”
And this had been going on since we’d left the castle.
Three weeks ago.
To say I was ready to choke a bitch would be an understatement.
“They still in love?” Tiggy muttered as Gary and Kevin continued to snipe back and forth.
I rolled my eyes. “Disgustingly so.”
“Bet you broom they get back together by time we get to Freeze Your Ass Off?”
“Nah,” I said. “It’ll take them until at least the Dark Woods.”
“Four brooms.”
“Tiggy, that’s still not how you barter when you—”
“Seven brooms!”
I sighed.
We shook on it.
“Sucker,” Tiggy said.
“Hey!”
He went back to listening as Gary and Kevin volleyed insults back and forth.
“You know,” Ryan said, voice slightly muffled from the cloth he had wrapped around his head and mouth, “you could probably just use magic to keep their mouths shut, right?”
“Probably,” I said. “But you would just pop a boner, and I think it’d be uncomfortable to walk with that. And, as a side note, penises are so weird. They broadcast far too much and in such awkward ways. Oh look, an attractive something. Let’s have all my blood rush to this one appendage and make it stick out during church.”
“During… church?”
“I was thirteen,” I mumbled. “The priest was hot. Whatever.”
“I don’t always pop boners when you do magic,” he said. “And gods, I am never saying pop boners ever again. It’s all your fault I talk like that to begin with now.”
“Really?” I said, bringing my hand up, palm toward the sky. “My magic does nothing for you?” I barely had to concentrate before a smidge of sand was floating above my hand, forming a sphere that circled slowly. It caused the barest of tugs around my head and heart, and I knew that Ryan was probably feeling it too, given his propensity these days to be almost an extension of my magic.
“Ungh,” he said, eyes glazing over slightly. He licked his lips, eyes darting from my hand down to my crotch.
“You’re so easy,” I said, letting my hand drop and the sand fall away. “It’s one of the things I love about you.”
“The first minute we get to ourselves,” he muttered, “I’m going to suck your brain out through your dick and make you come on my face.”
I tripped, falling face-first into the sand and rolling down a little dune.
Gods, I hated the desert.
“ARE YOU sure about this?” Mom asked, watching as I rolled an extra pair of trousers before shoving them into my pack. “She’s getting what she wants now. Sam, she’s my mother and I love her, but you shouldn’t trust her.”
I shook my head. “I don’t. And I won’t. This isn’t about her. Not anymore.”
She reached over and touched my arm, causing me to pause. “Then what is this about?”
I couldn’t look her in the eye, because if I did, I knew I’d spill everything to her, every single fear that I had: that I couldn’t trust Morgan, that I couldn’t trust Randall, that I was so angry at them for keeping this from me, that I was worried that I was going to fail. That I wasn’t going to be enough. That I was making all the wrong decisions. That I should be listening with my head instead of my heart.
“It’s about doing what’s right,” I said instead. “It’s about doing what I have to.”
She sighed. “I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me. All right?”