The noise that came out of me was not a high-pitched scream, no matter what any of them said. It wasn’t.
I whirled around, and sure enough, the most powerful wizard in the known world stood there, looking as grumpy and decrepit as always. His eyebrows looked like they had finally won the Battle of the Forehead and had begun to spread out in thick, wiry white hairs that seemed to reach his ears and nostrils. He was still in his pajamas, a striped onesie that was blown out on one knobby knee. On his feet were a pair of bunny slippers that I was sure wriggled their noses and whiskers, eyes blinking slowly. Randall himself watched me with a look of mild disdain with a dash of disgust and exasperation mixed in. He must have found me lacking as usual, because he clucked his tongue and shook his head.
“Sam,” he said. “I had hoped I wouldn’t have to see you for at least another year or so. I don’t know that I’m mentally prepared for more of your inane prattling. But of course, this is just another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”
My heart was still beating wildly in my chest. “How did you do that?”
He rolled his rheumy eyes. “I’m a wizard, Sam. If you didn’t know that, I will suggest to Morgan that he find a more appropriate job for you. Possibly in the kitchens. Or on your back in Meridian City.”
“You just teleported from Castle Freeze Your Ass Off all the way here? That’s not possible!”
“Still slow on the uptake, I see,” Randall said to Morgan as he shuffled his way to the stuffed high-back chair Morgan had set aside for him near the fireplace. “Do you think that’ll ever go away, or is he going to be like that forever?”
“I seem to remember you saying the same thing about me,” Morgan said. “In that same tone of voice, even.”
“Yes, well,” Randall said. “You learned quickly that I was always right and that you should do whatever I say. By a combination of dumb luck and sheer stupidity, your protégé has somehow found himself alive without learning anything at all. It would be rather remarkable if it wasn’t so maddening.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me about teleportation?” I demanded. “Do you know how much easier things would have been going after Justin? Or any time I’ve been captured?”
“I didn’t tell you because you won’t be able to do it,” Randall said. “Only I can. It takes a discipline that you can’t even begin to understand. Also, I’m old and it’s easier. You’re young and stupid, so it’s your own fault you get captured. It’s best to let you stew on it so you can hopefully learn from your mistakes. Hasn’t happened yet, though I’ve still got some hope.”
“He’s got a point,” Morgan said.
“Victim-blaming,” I accused them.
Randall ignored me. “Knight Commander Foxheart, I see you haven’t yet escaped the mindless babble. I’m still not convinced that you weren’t coerced into this somehow.”
“Yes, sir,” Ryan said, tripping over his words. “I mean, no, sir. I mean, I don’t know what to say to that, sir.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side,” I hissed at him.
“I am,” he said. “But that’s Randall. Do you know what he could do to me?”
“Ah,” Randall said. “Fear. What a beautiful motivator. But enough of this. Where is Vadoma? We might as well get this over and done with. I’m sure Sam is going to do that thing where he gets really loud sooner rather than later, and I’d like to not be here for that part if at all possible.”
“She’s under the watch of the Castle Guard,” Ryan said. “Along with that… that man.”
Randall arched one of the eyebrows that was eating his face. “I take it we’re not a fan of that man, whoever he may be.”
“He’s the Wolf to the phuro,” Morgan said, sounding resigned. “And she brought him here to become Sam’s cornerstone.”
Randall cackled. “Oh, the look that must have been on his face. What I would have given to see that.”
“I’m glad you find this all so amusing,” I said, grinding my teeth together. “Seeing as how a woman I’ve never met came out of nowhere to tell me I had to break up with Ryan and do what she said. And only to find out that you both knew about this. Don’t even get me started on the fact that she thinks I’m going to do anything with Ruv. I don’t care how good he looks without his shirt on or how bendy he seems to be. It doesn’t matter if that shit is erotic, or that he has dusky nipples, or—”
“I think we get it,” Ryan snapped. “And dusky nipples? My nipples are like—”
“Hush, babe,” I said. “I’m talking. Also, your nipples are wonderful and I am merely just trying to make a point.”
“Which is?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and flexing unfairly.
My mouth dried a little. “Holy biceps,” I whispered feverishly.
Ryan might have looked rather smug at that.
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the image of licking Ryan’s biceps. I could do that later. “It’s not even about him. I don’t care if he has the potential to be a cornerstone. Morgan told me there could be more than one a long time ago, but I’ve already made my choice. Nothing you or she or anyone else could say will change my mind on that. I don’t care what sort of deal you made with her. It’s not happening. Not now. Not ever.”
Ryan’s hand found my own, palm to palm, fingers entwined. He gave a gentle squeeze, and I did the same right back.
“I told you, Sam,” Morgan said. “I didn’t make a deal with her. Not over this.”
“Then why is she so—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Randall said. “Just tell him. Or I could. I probably wouldn’t sugarcoat it like you’re going to. We don’t agree on much, but even I can see the boy is tenacious. The gods only know why you insist on coddling the boy. I never did that for you.”
Ah, and there it was again. Yet another reference to Randall as Morgan’s mentor that they would probably tell me jack shit about. Much of Randall’s past was shrouded in secret. At first I thought it was because he was at a level of magic my tiny little brain couldn’t understand. But as I grew older, I came to realize it was just because he was a dick. There were stories told, of the madness of a king brought back to sanity by Randall’s force of will and of his cornerstone, Myrin, who had been hidden in shadow. Myrin, who had built up Randall’s magic to allow it to be where it was today.
I had so many questions about this, but now wasn’t the time. “You knew me,” I said. I was tired, exhausted really, and it was evident in my voice. “Before the day in the alley. Both of you.”
“Yes,” Morgan said simply.
“Because of her. Vadoma.”
“Yes.”