Stopped into Drummond S&L today. They got the money, which damn well saved us. Said it came by wire from Harrison Gunn—sounds like you pulled it off up in the big city. I got Mr. Gunn’s address and had to write.
Ruby says hi and that she loves you. She says she promised you she was going to beat the sickness inside her, and sure enough she’s been on her feet more each day. Hell, this morning she was helping me in the kitchen, giving me orders like she owned the place. She looks healthier, Joan—weighs heavier.
We’re both beyond proud of you. Thank you.
Love always, Ben
The relief and joy welling up inside me is so intense that for a minute, I actually think I might burst.
“This bonus doesn’t have to be a one-time thing.” Gunn uses a voice I barely recognize—smooth and slippery, like silk, or a snake. “I could keep wiring payments, take care of the back dues. Help pay down the rest of the mortgage. You could start using your salary for yourself, or save it to buy your family a new place. A palace.”
A palace dances, slow and sultry, across my mind, but I ignore it, ’cause I’m no fool. Nothing comes without strings from Gunn. “Sir, I’m not sure what else you’re asking of me, what I’d do to deserve more. . . . I’m giving everything I’ve got to the troupe, to the show, you said so yourself—”
“Thing is Joan, there’s something I remember.” He pauses, stubs the remainder of his cigarette onto my bedpost and tucks the stub in his pocket. “It’s something I haven’t quite been able to shake about you since we met. It’s been keeping me up at night if I’m honest, thinking, running things over and through.” He glances at me, but now, all the softness in his eyes is gone. “That night I came down to Parsonage. You brought me a bottle of shine that looked like it went to hell and back.”
My heart skips a beat. Mama’s spell, the blood-magic. “Well, sir, I—”
“It was dark. But still, I noticed small traces of blood caked around the top, detected an unusual, almost rusty smell to the shine. It was old, Joan, timeworn, even though you insisted different,” he says. “I know my magic. Don’t tell me again that was a shine you brewed that morning.”
In one swift motion Gunn moves closer, so that I can’t look anywhere else but at him. “I know you’re keeping things from me. I don’t know what, I just know you are. I’ll say it again: you and I have the chance to make both of our lives what they were meant to be.” He shakes his head fiercely, slowly. “But not if you hold back from me.”
My heart’s clambered its way up to my throat by now. Can I lie, dodge, say no? “What—what exactly do you want, Mr. Gunn?”
“Everything,” he says bluntly. “I want to know everything you can do.”
Everything. I gulp, try to swallow my fear, my panic. But some of my secrets aren’t mine to share.
Mama’s blood-spells have been with the women on her side of the family for generations. Her severing spells, the tracking spells, the caging spells: her magic was, is, a personal magic, family blood in the truest sense. And I’ve committed myself to using sorcery in order to right the past—if I’m honest, some nights I’ve even felt this distinct surge of rightness, like performing magic is something I was born to do—but giving Mama’s secrets away feels wholly different. Feels like delving into the oldest, truest parts of me and selling them wholesale to Gunn. Besides, what’s Gunn want with blood-magic?
I look at the letter that’s starting to crinkle around its edges from my death grip. If this is about Ruby and Ben, and only them, should it matter? Should I keep giving everything I can in exchange for making things better for them, for making things right? Besides, now that Gunn’s circling in, how long can I stall? What happens if you say no to a man like Gunn?
“Joan.” Gunn shifts on my bed, bringing me back to the here and now. “I’m not in the habit of asking twice.” He stares at me with those cold, hard, almost taunting eyes. “In fact, I’m not in the habit of asking at all.”
My heart hammers against my chest. And even though I swore I wouldn’t let these memories haunt me, I can’t help but think back to the warehouse clearing: to those two sorcerers Gunn turned on each other, to all the casualties during his little “experiment,” to the way he forced us to “finish” the Carolina Boys during our final test. This man is dangerous. This man knows where my family lives. Gunn does not stop till he gets what he wants.
Mama might even understand. Hell, Mama might do the same thing, if Ben’s and Ruby’s futures were on the line.
“If you’re promising to take care of our cabin back home, Mr. Gunn,” I say softly, hesitantly, “there are some things that I can show you, things—things I’ve never shown anyone.”
His eyes grow brighter, hungrier. “But you’re going to show me.”
And for just a second, it feels like the bottom of the world has dropped out, and I’m sitting on a bed with the devil himself. I can’t say yes, or bring myself to speak what feels like a strange form of betrayal, despite how many ways I try to reason it away.