I made it to a pile of fallen stones from the half-wrecked building beside us when I vomited again. And again.
Mor put a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles as I retched. “I did the same after my first battle. We all did.”
It wasn’t even a battle—not in the way I’d pictured: army against army on some unremarkable battlefield, chaotic and muddy. Even the real battle today had been out on the sea—where the Illyrians were now sailing inland.
I couldn’t bear to start counting how many made the return trip.
I didn’t know how Mor or Rhys or Cassian or Azriel could bear it.
And what I’d just seen … “The king was here,” I breathed.
Mor’s hand stilled on my back. “What?”
I leaned my brow against the sun-warmed brick of the building before me and told her—what I’d seen in Rhys’s mind.
The king—he had been here and yet not here. Another trick—another spell. No wonder Rhys hadn’t been able to attack his mind: the king hadn’t been present to do so.
I closed my eyes as I finished, pressing my brow harder into the brick.
Blood and sweat still coated me. I tried to remember the usual fit of my soul in my body, the priority of things, my way of looking at the world. What to do with my limbs in the stillness. How did I usually position my hands without a blade between them? How did I stop moving?
Mor squeezed my shoulder, as if she understood the racing thoughts, the foreignness of my body. The War had raged for seven years. Years. How long would this one last?
“We should find the others,” she said, and helped me straighten before winnowing us back to the palace towering high above.
I couldn’t bring myself to send another thought down the bond. See where Rhys was. I didn’t want him to see me—feel me—in such a state. Even if I knew he wouldn’t judge.
He, too, had spilled blood on the battlefield today. And many others before it. All of my friends had.
And I could understand—just for a heartbeat, as the wind tore around us—why some rulers, human and Fae, had bowed before Hybern. Bowed, rather than face this.
It wasn’t only the cost of life that ripped and devastated and sundered. It was the altering of a soul with it—the realization that I could perhaps go back home to Velaris, perhaps see peace achieved and cities rebuilt … but this battle, this war … I would be the thing forever changed.
War would linger with me long after it had ended, some invisible scar that would perhaps fade, but never wholly vanish.
But for my home, for Prythian and the human territory and so many others …
I would clean my blades, and wash the blood from my skin.
And I would do it again and again and again.
The middle level of the palace was a flurry of motion: blood-drenched Summer Court soldiers limped around healers and servants rushing to the injured being laid on the floor.
The stream through the center of the hall ran red.
More and more winnowed in, borne by wide-eyed High Fae.
A few Illyrians—just as bloody but eyes clear—hauled in their own wounded through the open windows and balcony doors.
Mor and I scanned the space, the throngs of people, the reek of death and screams of the injured.
I tried to swallow, but my mouth was too dry. “Where are—”
I recognized the warrior the same moment he spied me.
Varian, kneeling over an injured soldier with his thigh in ribbons, went utterly still as our eyes met. His brown skin was splattered in blood as bright as the rubies they’d sent to us, his white hair plastered to his head, as if he’d just chucked off his helmet.
He whistled through his teeth, and a soldier appeared at his side, taking up his position of tying a tourniquet around the hurt male’s thigh. The Prince of Adriata rose to his feet.
I did not have any magic left in me to shield. After seeing Rhys with the king, there was only an empty pit where my fear had been a wild sea within me. But I felt Mor’s power slide into place between us.
There was a death-promise on my head. From them.
Varian approached—slowly. Stiffly. As if his entire body ached. Though his handsome face revealed nothing. Only bone-weary exhaustion.
His mouth opened—then shut. I didn’t have words, either.
So Varian rasped, his voice hoarse enough that I knew he’d been screaming for a long, long time, “He’s in the oak dining room.”
The one where I had first dined with them.
I just nodded at the prince and began easing my way through the crowd, Mor keeping close to my side.
I’d thought Varian meant Rhysand.
But it was Tarquin who stood in gore-flecked silver armor at the dining table, maps and charts before him, Summer Court Fae either blood-soaked or pristine filling the sunny chamber.
The High Lord of the Summer Court looked up from the table as we paused on the threshold. Took in me, then Mor.
The kindness, the consideration that I had last seen on the High Lord’s face was gone. Replaced by a grim, cold thing that made my stomach turn.
Blood had clotted from a thick slice down his neck, the caked bits crumbling away as Tarquin glanced to the people in the room and said, “Leave us.”
No one even dared glance twice at him as they filed out.
I had done a horrible thing the last time we were here. I had lied, and stolen. I had torn into his mind and tricked him into believing me innocent. Harmless. I did not blame him for the blood ruby he had sent. But if he sought to exact his vengeance now …
“I heard you two cleared the palace. And helped clear the island.”
His words were low—lifeless.
Mor inclined her head. “Your soldiers fought bravely beside us.”
Tarquin ignored her, his crushing turquoise eyes upon me. Taking in the blood, the wounds, the leathers. Then the mating band on my finger, the star sapphire dull, blood crusted between the delicate folds and arcs of metal.
“I thought you came to finish the job,” Tarquin said to me.
I didn’t dare move.
“I heard Tamlin took you. Then I heard the Spring Court fell. Collapsed from within. Its people in revolt. And you had vanished. And when I saw the Illyrian legion sweeping in … I thought you had come for me, too. To help Hybern finish us off.”
Varian had not told him—of the message he’d snuck to Amren. Not a call for aid, but a frantic warning for Amren to save herself. Tarquin hadn’t known that we’d be coming.
“We would never ally with Hybern,” Mor said.
“I am talking to Feyre Archeron.”
I’d never heard Tarquin use that tone. Mor bristled, but said nothing.
“Why?” Tarquin demanded, sunlight glinting on his armor—whose delicate, overlapping scales were fashioned after a fish’s.
I didn’t know what he meant. Why had we deceived and stolen from him? Why had we come to help? Why to both?
“Our dreams are the same,” was all I could think to say.
A united realm, in which lesser faeries were no longer shoved down. A better world.
The opposite of what Hybern fought for. What his allies fought for.
“Is that how you justified stealing from me?”