I sat on the bedroll and began sorting through my pack, hauling out the warmer clothes, food, and supplies Alis herself had placed within. “Yes.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
I sniffed at the food, wondering what was laced with faebane. It could be in everything. “It’s too risky to eat,” I admitted, evading his question.
Lucien was having none of it. “I knew. I knew you were lying the moment you unleashed that light in Hybern. My friend at the Dawn Court has the same power—her light is identical. And it does not do whatever horseshit you lied about it doing.”
I shoved my pack off my bedroll. “Then why not tell him? You were his faithful dog in every other sense.”
His eye seemed to simmer. As if being in his own lands set that molten ore inside him rising to the surface, even with the damper on his power. “Glad to see the mask is off, at least.”
Indeed, I let him see it all—didn’t alter or shape my face into anything but coldness.
Lucien snorted. “I didn’t tell him for two reasons. One, it felt like kicking a male already down. I couldn’t take that hope away from him.” I rolled my eyes. “Two,” he snapped, “I knew if I was correct and called you on it, you’d find a way to make sure I never saw her.”
My nails dug into my palms hard enough to hurt, but I remained seated on the bedroll as I bared my teeth at him. “And that’s why you’re here. Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.”
“She is my mate and in my enemy’s hands—”
“I’ve made no secret from the start that Elain is safe and cared for.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you.”
“Yes,” I hissed. “You are. Because if I believed for one moment that my sisters were in danger, no High Lord or king would have kept me from going to save them.”
He just shook his head, the candlelight dancing over his hair. “You have the gall to question my priorities regarding Elain—yet what was your motive where I was concerned? Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply for fear of what it might do to her?”
I didn’t answer.
“Well? What was your grand plan for me before Ianthe interfered?”
I pulled at a stray thread in the bedroll. “You would have been fine,” was all I said.
“And what about Tamlin? Did you plan to disembowel him before you left and simply not get the chance?”
I ripped the loose thread right out of the bedroll. “I debated it.”
“But?”
“But I think letting his court collapse around him is a better punishment. Certainly longer than an easy death.” I slung off Tamlin’s bandolier of knives, leather scraping against the rough stone floor. “You’re his emissary—surely you realize that slitting his throat, however satisfying, wouldn’t win us many allies in this war.” No, it’d give Hybern too many openings to undermine us.
He crossed his arms. Digging in for a good, long fight. Before he could do just that, I cut in, “I’m tired. And our voices echo. Let’s have it out when it’s not likely to get us caught and killed.”
His gaze was a brand.
But I ignored it as I nestled down on the bedroll, the material reeking of dust and rot. I pulled my cloak over me, but didn’t close my eyes.
I didn’t dare sleep—not when he might very well change his mind. Yet just lying down, not moving, not thinking … Some of the tightness in my body eased.
Lucien blew out the candle and I listened to the sounds of him settling down as well.
“My father will hunt you for taking his power if he finds out,” he said into the frigid dark. “And kill you for learning how to wield it.”
“He can get in line,” was all I said.
My exhaustion was a blanket over my senses as gray light stained the cave walls.
I’d spent most of the night shivering, jolting at every snap and sound in the forest outside, keenly aware of Lucien’s movements on his bedroll.
From his own haggard face as he sat up, I knew he hadn’t slept, either, perhaps wondering if I’d abandon him. Or if his family would find us first. Or mine.
We took each other’s measure.
“What now,” he rasped, scrubbing a broad hand over his face.
Rhys had not come—I had not heard a whisper of him down the bond.
I felt for my magic, but only ashes greeted me. “We head north,” I said. “Until the faebane is out of our systems and we can winnow.” Or I could contact Rhys and the others.
“My father’s court lies due northward. We’ll have to go to the east or west to avoid it.”
“No. East takes us too close to the Summer Court border. And I won’t lose time by going too far west. We go straight north.”
“My father’s sentries will easily spot us.”
“Then we’ll have to remain unseen,” I said, rising.
I dumped the last of the contaminated food from my pack. Let the scavengers have it.
Walking through the woods of the Autumn Court felt like striding inside a jewel box.
Even with all that potentially hunted us now, the colors were so vivid it was an effort not to gawk and gape.
By midmorning, the rime had melted away under the buttery sun to reveal what was suitable for eating. My stomach growled with every step, and Lucien’s red hair gleamed like the leaves above us as he scanned the woods for anything to fill our bellies.
His woods, by blood and law. He was a son of this forest, and here … He looked crafted from it. For it. Even that gold eye.
Lucien eventually stopped at a jade stream wending through a granite-flanked gully, a spot he claimed had once been rich with trout.
I was in the process of constructing a rudimentary fishing pole when he waded into the stream, boots off and pants rolled to his knees, and caught one with his bare hands. He’d tied his hair up, a few strands of it falling into his face as he swooped down again and threw a second trout onto the sandy bank where I’d been trying to find a substitute for fishing twine.
We remained silent as the fish eventually stopped flapping, their sides catching and gleaming with all the colors so bright above us.
Lucien picked them up by their tails, as if he’d done it a thousand times. He might very well have, right here in this stream. “I’ll clean them while you start the fire.” In the daylight, the glow of the flames wouldn’t be noticed. Though the smoke … a necessary risk.
We worked and ate in silence, the crackling fire offering the only conversation.
We hiked north for five days, hardly exchanging a word.