Katie’s knuckles turned white as she tightened her grip on the book. “Sam thought the same thing…that there was a man in his room.”
“It’s just the confusion of his mind.” Doreen Sue wasn’t an expert, but she’d read up on the subject. She’d even sought out mediums and psychics after Ravenswood, hoping they could make sense of her encounter. “He saw something he can’t explain, and his mind is processing it the only way he knows how. Turning all that mess into nightmares. They’ll pass.”
Katie’s expression softened with relief. “They seem to be already.” Hesitating, she wet her lips. “At the hospital, you said Wendy and I had pinkeye as kids. You made it sound like I should remember. Because of that night?”
Doreen Sue nodded. “Wendy’s was just the routine stuff all kids get, but yours started that night and lasted for three days. I had it, too, but not as bad.” She chuckled softly. “It was awful having to go without makeup.”
Katie laughed. “That must have been traumatic for you.”
“And bad for business. I wouldn’t go near the salon. Wanda had to take all my customers.” The sliver of humor faded as an ugly thought robbed its place. “A few people didn’t think I was sick…told Wanda I was sleeping off a hangover.”
Katie recoiled, glancing away. “Those weren’t the best times.”
“No.” Maybe she’d flubbed talking about the past, but Katie’s unsettled childhood had always been the elephant in the room. “You used to call me ‘Mama’ when you were little.” What she wouldn’t give to hear that name again. Just once. To know that beneath Katie’s cool, unemotional exterior lingered a daughter who still needed her.
“That was a long time ago.” Katie’s words were crisp, her demeanor every bit as bristling. She stood, gathering her robe close. “I think I’ll go to bed now.”
Of course. Running, shutting down any avenue that might pry awake a measure of vulnerability. When had she become so self-sufficient, walled in a corner others couldn’t reach?
Unwilling to cave so easily, Doreen Sue ignored the comment. “You and Wendy used to talk a blue streak.”
“That was Wendy. She understood me.” Katie’s gaze was flat.
“And I don’t?” Doreen Sue rose to her feet. The elephant grew bigger, pushing between them. “I know I wasn’t the best mama, but I tried for both you girls. I could have done better. I know that, but are you going to resent me forever?”
Katie’s eyes widened in surprise. “Resent you? How could you—where would you get such a horrid idea?”
Had she been wrong? “You disapprove of me. Always have.”
“No.” Closing her eyes, Katie pressed three fingertips to her forehead. Drawing a deep breath, she exhaled slowly as if curbing an impulsive reaction. “I disapproved of your lifestyle when you were running around with Amos or guys like him. What daughter wants to see her mother with a black eye?”
Doreen Sue blanched, shamed by the ugly memory. She wasn’t sure what she’d ever seen in Amos Carter or why she’d stayed with him after he slapped her and cheated on her. Even when he’d died, she bawled like a woman who’d lost a spouse of twenty years. They’d been together less than two. She had no one to blame but herself. Her taste in men had never been good. Even the girls’ father had left when Katie was two. Thank Heaven for Martin Ward, who treated her like gold and asked nothing in return.
“I made mistakes.” It wasn’t simply an admission, but a nasty reality that cut deep. “You think I don’t know why Wendy wanted to run away? Why she got involved with a creep like Roger Layton?” She blinked hard, fighting the sting of tears. “Every time I think of her dead at the hands of that horrible man, I’ve got no one to blame but me. If I’d been a better mother, she wouldn’t have run wild.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. She had always been at fault. Her baby, strangled and tossed into an unmarked grave after that bastard had used her for pleasure. Unable to bear the shame, she covered her face with her hands and crumpled into the chair. “She’d still be alive if it weren’t for me.”
“No, Mom. Wendy had a wildness in her, but it didn’t come from you.”
A hesitant touch settled on Doreen Sue’s shoulder as Katie crouched next to her. “Her recklessness came from Daddy, not you.”
Doreen Sue raised her head searching for hope through a watery gaze. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because Wendy told me. I don’t remember Daddy, but she did. She said she was exactly like him. I didn’t understand it then, but she had a self-destructive streak. As much as I loved her, Wendy created her own grief. She knew better than to get involved with Roger. He was married and twice her age. That’s probably what attracted her to him in the first place. The element of danger and something forbidden.”
Doreen Sue sniffled. She’d never talked to her daughter like this before, her insecurities and emotions bare. Maybe that’s what had kept Katie’s walls in place all these years. Not an unwillingness to share, but a craving to be needed in return. “How did you ever get so smart?”
Katie smiled tenderly. “Don’t you remember? I always had my nose in a book. At least that’s what you used to say. ‘Kathryn Eloise, what book do you have your nose buried in now?’”
It was her turn to smile. Wendy had loved makeup and clothes, Katie books. “You were the serious one.”
“I used to think you disapproved. As much as you and Wendy fought, I used to think you wanted me to be like her. You doted on her.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t understand.” An imaginary fist pummeled Doreen Sue’s stomach. Half sick, she rooted through her purse for a tissue. “I never wanted to give that impression.” She’d loved both her girls, but there’d never been a question Wendy was headed for trouble from a young age. “If I fussed over Wendy more, it was because she needed someone to keep her in line. You were so self-sufficient and focused. I always knew you’d turn into a woman I could be proud of, but I worried Wendy would end up like—” She bit off the word, unable to admit the truth.