I feel wrong for even thinking that, considering how raw I am about Lachie, but I haven’t managed to close the door on the past.
Bridget is right. I did think Alex was my soulmate. But it clearly wasn’t meant to be. Every time fate has thrown him into my life, the timing has been terribly wrong.
I met him at Polly’s hen night, when I was only in the UK for a fortnight from Australia.
I saw him on the escalators going up when I was heading down, and, even though he didn’t wait for me, our lives collided again that same morning when we discovered we were working together. He was already engaged to Zara.
And then everything with Zara came crashing down and Alex finally declared his love for me but, by then, Lachie was embedded in my life.
Now I’m single. Is he?
The timing is still wrong. I know this. I’ve just broken up with Lachie and I’m nowhere near over him.
But still…
I never did get that closure. My meeting with Alex in Sydney was too brief, too unfulfilling. Am I really going to walk away from another opportunity to lay the past to rest?
I pull out the card that’s been burning a hole in my bag and scan the address. I could call him, of course, but where’s the fun in that?
With my heels clicking over the cobblestones, I head towards the Tube station.
Time to kick fate in the balls and take matters into my own hands.
Alex’s new office block is in a quiet side street off Camden’s hectic market centre. My heart is pounding in my chest as I walk up the stairs and pull on the glass door.
It doesn’t budge.
My eyes drift to the intercom. Damn! So much for turning up unannounced. I take a deep breath and press the buzzer.
‘Hello?’ a male voice answers.
‘Is Alex there?’ I ask.
‘He’s just popped out. Is he expecting you?’
‘Er, no.’
‘Can I ask your name?’
I hesitate, my finger on the button.
‘Bronte?’
My heart leaps into my throat as I spin around, coming face to face with Alex.
His eyes are wide, even more blue than usual, it seems.
‘What are you doing here?’ He looks shocked. He’s holding two takeaway coffee mugs nestled into a single cardboard tray.
‘I’ve just been to see Simon. He gave me your card.’
‘So you thought you’d drop by and give me a heart attack?’
‘Figured it was payback time,’ I say with a smile that belies how on edge I’m feeling.
‘I gave you three weeks’ notice,’ he says weakly, his lips tilting up with the faintest traces of amusement as he joins me on the top step and presses the intercom with his free left hand.
The crackly voice comes over the speakerphone again. ‘Hello? Sorry, what was your name?’
‘It’s all right, Neal, I’ve got her,’ Alex speaks into the receiver. ‘Can you buzz us in?’ He drops his hand and pulls the door open when it clicks. ‘My partner,’ he explains, holding the door back for me. ‘You coming in?’
‘If I’m allowed.’ I raise an eyebrow.
‘Yeah, I just wish you’d called: I would’ve got another coffee.’
‘I prefer tea, anyway.’
He flashes me a proper smile and presses the button for the lift. ‘We’re on the top floor.’
‘When did you decide to start your own business?’ I ask as the doors close behind us. I decide to try breathing through my mouth.
‘I’ve always wanted to,’ he says. ‘But it’s hard to turn away a decent salary.’
‘How’s it going?’
‘Really well.’ He nods. ‘Better than I could’ve hoped, to be honest.’
His black hair is shorter on top now, but a bit longer all over, curling at the nape of his neck. It’s a little scruffy, but it suits him.
‘What made you decide to leave Tetlan?’ I ask.
‘Nothing bad. I just felt like something needed to change. I’d been a bit stuck in a rut.’
‘I know what you mean,’ I say wryly.
‘You not happy?’
‘My new boss is a bit of a nightmare.’
‘I’ve heard that about her,’ he comments.
‘If her reputation precedes her, why do management promote people who can’t cut it?’ This annoys me immensely.
‘Who knows? Politics of a big company. Can’t say I miss it, even if I did like it while I was there.’
His new office is small but stylish, with big windows and far-reaching views across Camden to central London beyond. A slightly dishevelled-looking Neal jumps up to say hi, giving my hand a firm shake and taking his coffee from Alex with the enthusiasm of a caffeine addict. I find out that their business consists of just the two of them right now, but they’re hoping to employ more staff. They’ve got more work than they can manage, but they know all too well that things could slow down again.
‘How long have you got?’ Alex asks me when Neal takes a call on his mobile.
‘I’ve got to be at Rachel’s at seven,’ I say.
‘In Golders Green?’
‘Yeah.’
I shouldn’t be surprised he remembers where Rachel lives – he always was good at stuff like that.
‘That’s hours away. Do you want to get a drink?’ he asks.
I nod at the coffee he still hasn’t touched. ‘You’ve got one.’
‘No, I mean a proper drink.’
‘You can just leave?’
‘It’s Friday,’ he says with a grin. ‘And I’m the boss. One of them, anyway.’ He pats Neal on his back. ‘See you Monday,’ he whispers, grabbing the denim shirt hanging on the back of his chair.
Neal nods and gives him the thumbs-up, his eyes growing round and his mouth stretching into a goofy grin when Alex places his untouched coffee in front of him. Neal waves a manic little bye at me as we leave. I like him immensely.
‘Is there anything else you need to do in Camden while you’re here?’ Alex asks on the way back down in the lift.
‘No. What are you thinking?’ I cast him a look.
‘Shall we go to Hampstead?’
‘Hampstead?’ Random.
‘Yeah, it’s not far from Rachel’s. Less hectic than Camden. I brought my car in today and I live that way, so I could drop you to Rachel’s front door.’
Not random at all, as it turns out.
‘Are you sure? You really are finishing up for the day?’
‘I can work from home over the weekend.’
Something that feels a lot like pride bubbles up inside me. He’s so clever and talented.
Don’t get carried away, Bronte… I need to keep my feelings in check.
Alex’s car smells overwhelmingly like Alex. It’s almost too much, being so enveloped by him.
‘Where do you live?’ I ask.
‘West Hampstead,’ he replies. ‘I’ve been there for about three years now.’
‘Are your parents still in Crouch End?’
He glances at me. ‘Yeah, and Jo and Brian are in East Finchley, so we’re all pretty close by.’
I remember that Jo is his sister, of course, but I’ve never met her. I have met Brian, however. It was at his stag do that I first came across Alex.
‘They have a couple of kids now,’ he reveals, making casual conversation.
‘Do they? Boys? Girls?’
‘One of each. It’s my niece’s first birthday tomorrow, actually.’
‘Are you going?’
‘Yeah. My whole family will be there.’
I steal a glance at his tanned, toned forearms, his hands resting on the steering wheel. His denim shirt is, typically, rolled up past his elbows.
I always did think he had sexy forearms.