Sunshine stole through the blinds in Gavin’s hotel suite the next morning, awakening Rachel with a spill of warm light on her face. Not ready to open her eyes, she clung to the last moments of half-sleep, her body languorous and sated. The sheets tangled around her legs and the pillowcase smelled vaguely of Gavin’s aftershave.
She buried her nose deeper into the down, breathing in the scent of him. A smile pulled at her lips as she remembered their night together. She’d turned into him once—long after midnight—and his arms had wrapped around her automatically, reeling her near. Today, they would attend a wedding together, the most romantic sort of date imaginable.
Would it bring them closer? Or would the sudden shift in dynamic between them add an element of romantic pressure and expectation? Rachel cranked open her eyes at the worrisome thought. She would be fine. But would Gavin?
Turning to his side of the bed, she reached an arm out to him.
Or…to the spot he’d vacated.
“Gavin?” Sitting upright, she took the sheets with her.
His rumpled pillow assured her she hadn’t dreamed what happened the night before. But where was he? She didn’t hear him stirring in the living area or bathroom.
Wrapping the bed linens around her, toga style, she wondered if he went out to get coffee. Barefoot, she padded along the cool wood floors, trying to hopscotch from one area rug to another. She didn’t see him out on the balcony that overlooked the mountain. Her heart sank, even knowing that he could be downstairs in search of the continental breakfast.
She’d envisioned waking up together and getting ready for the wedding. Should she simply drive herself home like she’d planned last night and meet him back here later? Jittery nerves rushed over her skin as she headed toward the bathroom. There, trapped between the mirror and the medicine cabinet behind it, she spotted a sheet of hotel stationery—pinned where she was sure to see it.
Levering open the mirror to free the paper, she read the handwritten message:
Thought I’d better take a few runs on the mountain before I need to be at the church. My flight is at 8 p.m., so this will be my last chance to work on things before the team race. Sorry not to be here when you wake up, but I’ll see you soon.
Gavin
Disappointment stung. No mention of their night together or what it meant. No hint that anything had changed between them. He’d been careful to mention his flight out, however. A sure sign his mind was on the upcoming separation as opposed to…what?
What had she expected to change by taking a leap and making her feelings for him so obvious? She’d been determined to show him that she cared about him. That she was ready for more.
But she hadn’t really considered how she’d feel if the risk didn’t pay off. Of course, that would have negated the whole idea of taking a risk. If the outcome had been certain, she wasn’t gambling a darn thing.
Instead, she’d revealed her deepest emotions, shared everything with him. In doing so, she’d sent him running. Maybe he’d felt suffocated. Maybe he hadn’t really wanted anything more than one night. She couldn’t possibly know for sure. But his decision to hit the mountain for a snowboard run instead of staying to kiss her good morning made it apparent that he didn’t reciprocate all those feelings she had for him. So now all she had to show for her efforts was a heart shattering into a million pieces on the bathroom floor.
*
Determined to stuff down all her hurt about Gavin, Rachel kept a smile pasted on her face as she stared out the window of the bridal room off the church nave. The small parlor, decorated in butterscotch yellow with hints of blue, was a convenient place for the florist to drop off the bouquets or nervous brides to make a last-minute bathroom trip. There was a vanity with good lighting where two of Kiersten’s attendants worked on last-minute touches refining their makeup. She looked stunning in the lace and tulle gown, her makeup and hair perfect, her skin glowing with good health. The bride leaned over her bouquet of crimson roses and poinsettias, inhaling the scent with a dreamy smile on her face.
Rachel couldn’t be happier for her, and Diana, Heidi, and Emma—the ladies who were part of the ceremony—had warmly welcomed Rachel. It would have been an ideal day if not for the fact that Gavin had snowboarded away with Rachel’s heart this morning. She felt the ache of her empty chest like a heavy weight inside her. She wanted to put her hands there, over the spot where her heart should be, in an effort to hold herself together.
She’d been looking out the window into the parking lot off and on for the last twenty minutes, wondering if she’d catch a glimpse of Gavin in his tuxedo. The thought of seeing him in the church in his best man role felt like more than she could bear. But she had to. She’d fought all week for some semblance of acceptance from her hometown so she could be here for Kiersten. She wouldn’t chicken out now.
“The dresses are all gorgeous!” Emma announced from her spot in front of the full-length mirror close to where Rachel stood. “You are a miracle worker.”
Emma’s bridesmaid gown showcased Rachel’s most dramatic change of the three. The bodice was completely different and so much more flattering. The new dart along the hip helped define Emma’s curves.
“You look beautiful,” Rachel told her honestly, peering around the room at each lovely woman present. A mix of emotions clogged her throat, but she swallowed them down. “You all do.”
Her voice broke a little.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” Kiersten rushed closer, setting aside her bouquet to take Rachel’s shoulders in her cool hands. “What’s wrong?”
Why was it a good friend could see right through all your social posturing and fake smiles? Kiersten’s concerned gaze made it all the more difficult to pretend everything was okay. Still, Rachel shook her head, unwilling to spoil her day.
“It’s fine. Everything’s fine.” She forced a smile. “I’m just so glad I got to be a part of your big day.”
“Me too.” Kiersten hugged her before she started rearranging a few of the floral bouquets for some informal photos on her camera.
Two of her bridesmaids helped her, offering suggestions on artful arrangements of rose petals along the vanity table. But Luke’s sister, Emma, remained behind, her gaze still on Rachel.
“Something’s wrong,” Emma announced, keeping her voice low. “What is it?”
Rachel hesitated.
“I’m not buying that those are happy tears.” Emma passed her a tissue. The concern in her voice was genuine.
Checking to make sure the bride was still distracted with taking photos, Rachel decided to confide in her. Emma had been up front and honest with Rachel, after all. She deserved the same in return.
“I’m worried about Gavin and me.” She got the words out with an effort. Talking about it made his defection feel too real. “I thought things were going so well, but now… I don’t know.”
“He looked so happy last night,” Emma whispered back. “I saw you dancing together and he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”