“Although I am very aware of the need for a conclusion very soon, for your own sake. I would not keep you waiting when I know that you have but five months left here at Tarlton. I think it would be a very good idea for us to see much of each other in the coming weeks, if you find that you are, finally, agreeable to what I suggest.”
“Lord Addison, I shall give everything you have said very thorough thought, and I shall let you know as soon as I am able. And please understand that I shall not think of anything else until I have come to a conclusion and that I will not keep you waiting either. If you authorize me to do so, I should like to discuss the matter a little with my mother and sister.”
“Oh yes, of course. You must discuss it with them and take their opinions to your heart, Miss Fitzgerald. I would not seek to do anything which would hurt you, for I realize that you have been hurt enough already. And if you decide that you cannot go through with such a thing, I should like to assure you of my friendship in the future. I will understand entirely if this is something which your heart cannot support. After all, what I am asking of you is a lifetime of simple, loveless companionship. That is an awful lot to ask a person.”
“But perhaps it is not so much to ask of somebody when they truly seek nothing more themselves.” She smiled and turned as if to walk them both back towards the house.
“Perhaps you would write to me, Miss Fitzgerald when you have come to your conclusion?”
“I will write you immediately, Sir. You may expect my answer very soon.”
Chapter 9
As Emmeline, her sister, and mother, set off in the carriage on their way to Addison Hall, she felt a little nervous. Within a day of her writing to him to confirm that she would be willing to go ahead with a most unromantic courtship, he had written back to invite Emmeline and her family for afternoon tea with himself and his cousin, Algernon Rochester.
“I wonder why it is he has invited Algernon Rochester also,” Rose said inquisitively as their carriage bumped along.
“Well, Mr Rochester is his cousin,” Emmeline began. “And perhaps it would be nice for him to have a little family support today. After all, I think that Mr Rochester is his closest living relative. The Earl is not as fortunate as I am.” She smiled.
“Yes, it is not such an easy thing to receive the family of a woman you have recently proposed to. There is bound to be all sorts of awkwardness as there always is in these things,” Constance chattered happily, and Emmeline wondered if her mother had chosen to view the entire circumstance as something very much more romantic than it really was.
When she had first told her mother and sister of the Earl’s very open and honest proposal, she had seen how relieved they were. At that moment, they had been saved, and any ideas of romance and happiness were very far from their minds. Actually, it was very much the same for Emmeline herself. She had had to hold back a little from saying that she would immediately agree to marry him and that he need only name the day. The moment he spoke, the moment he made his proposal, she saw her saviour right there in front of her, and she felt the greatest sense of relief. But of course, she knew she ought to consider the thing properly, or at least appear to be doing so.
And she had not felt at all sacrificed by her mother and sister, despite the relief in their eyes. It was for all three of them that she would marry the Earl. At least then, Rose would have the opportunity to find a suitable husband, safe in the society they had always known, with the Earl’s financial backing.
Of course, he had not said as much, but she knew the thing did not need to be said. The Earl of Addison was offering to rescue the three women with such a marriage; that was plain. And that he wanted an heir to his estate was something that he had not hidden at all.
It had been his honesty, more than anything else, which had given her the greatest sense of security. He had been honest in that he did not want to love again, nor would he seek to. And he had been honest in telling her that his hope above all things was to produce an heir. It struck Emmeline firmly that they both knew very much where they stood, each having been extraordinarily honest with the other, given the times they lived in.
Perhaps, in the end, to be able to be so honest and speak so freely was a privilege that she never thought to have in her lifetime. If only she could have received such honesty and plain speaking from Christopher Lennox and Clara Lovett. If only they had not sought to avoid the whole thing by treating her so cruelly that she could not possibly speak her mind, or even speak at all. Still, the thing was done now, and she knew that it would not help her to continue to dwell on it. She had a chance of a life after all, even if it was a life without love.
Having tasted real love once before and suffered its cruel blows, Emmeline would never, ever wish to love again. And for that to be the Earl’s object also was very comforting. They would get along perfectly well without love. In fact, it would surely take a great deal of pressure off them both.
“I suppose the circumstances are not quite so common, Mama,” Emmeline said cautiously. “I mean, I have no doubt that Lord Addison has discussed the thing with his cousin as I have discussed it with the two of you. We shall none of us be under any false impressions that this is anything other than a marriage of convenience.”
“Oh, my dear,” Constance objected gently.
“No, Mama, we must all be very clear on this from the beginning. There is no romance to speak of, and there never shall be. The Earl and I each have a need, and we have both been very honest about it. We cannot now drift into thoughts of romance, Mama, because I should not like you to be disappointed. I do not want love, and neither does Lord Addison. We neither one of us wish to tread that path again.”
“But my dear, as hurt as you have been, time really does heal all.” Constance looked sad.
“But we do not have time, Mama. We have but five months, and that will not be enough to wipe away the pain of what happened to me. I would never wish to repeat that as long as I live, and yet, if I hold on and hope to feel better, we will be living in such poor circumstances that neither Rose nor I will be agreeable to any man. Let us accept things as they are; I am to marry an Earl, at least if the whole thing goes well. Let that be enough for us all. In truth, it was not a thing I ever expected and so, looked at under a proper light, the whole thing has worked out very well indeed.”
“Of course, my dear,” Constance relented. “And I should not like to put a moment’s pressure on you, not after everything you have been through. But I should like you to know that I would not sacrifice you for anything. It is not your job to save us from what is coming. There are three of us, and I cannot bear to see you carry the burden of it all alone.”