I’m a fool.
I should have listened to Noah. He must be awake now, and I know he’ll be losing his mind. He’ll come looking for me, and we could be separated, which is the worst thing that could happen out here. But I realize I can’t keep destroying myself for trying to do what’s right. There is no right in this situation, everything you do is a choice, and more often than not it’s the wrong one.
I can’t let my thoughts weaken me. I did the same thing with Nan and I lost Noah. I can’t lose him again.
I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but the sun has shifted, indicating it’s the afternoon. If I don’t find Noah before sundown, I’ll have to spend a night out here alone. Nothing terrifies me more than that. I glance up through the trees at the suspiciously dark clouds hovering, threatening. Even better, I get stuck in a storm with no way out and no protection.
Panic squeezes my heart.
I keep moving.
I reach a fence after another hour and my heart plummets. I’ve come to a boundary, one of his electrified fences. I don’t think there was a boundary near the cave. My entire body starts to tremble as I turn and glance back into the trees I just ventured out of. I can go back in, but I don’t even know where the stream is. I’ll find it, sure, but how long will that take?
A pained sob leaves my throat and I lower myself to the ground against a tree trunk, trying to steady my breathing. It’s no use. I cry so hard everything shakes. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, everything fucking hurts.
I’m tired of pain.
Mostly, I’m tired of fear.
I stay huddled against that tree trunk until I hear a distant bellow. It takes me a few minutes to decipher if it’s my imagination or if it’s real. It comes again, so distant it’s hard to make out. It’s a male voice, but is it Noah or is it Bryce? I’m not about to yell back and risk answering the wrong one. I tilt my head to the side and focus. I still can’t make it out, so I stand and slowly make my way toward it.
As I move back through the trees, it becomes clearer. It’s Noah.
“Noah!” I scream.
“Lara?” he calls, voice deep and frantic.
“I’m here, I’m here!”
I start running down the track toward his voice, happiness and relief flooding my body. I run with little thought, I just need to see him. I need him. I don’t think. I’m running, arm clutched against my chest, body focused on one thing—finding him.
Bryce steps out in front of me.
He’s grinning, which is the first thing I notice. The second is that he’s still got that knife. I stop dead, eyes wide, body seizing with the all-too-familiar panic.
“You two really are the most stupid people I’ve ever met. Honestly? Screaming out for each other? Did God even give you a brain?”
He has the nerve to use God in a sentence? Sick.
“You touch her, I’ll kill you.”
Noah.
My eyes move over Bryce’s shoulder to see him standing, shirtless, powerful, covered in sweat. He’s holding his leg slightly off, but otherwise he looks like nothing can bother him. Not a single thing in the world.
Bryce reaches into his jacket, which I now notice is long and hanging down to around his knees. He pulls out a machine gun. My body goes stiff.
“I’m sorry, what?” He laughs, turning so he can see both Noah and me.
“You want a hunt, I’ll give you a fucking hunt. But you let her go.”
“Noah, no,” I yell, terror seizing my chest.
“Giving up his life for hers, honorable,” Bryce muses. “I don’t honestly know why you’d take such a risk. I mean, it’s her fault you’re here, after all. If she wasn’t enough of a smart-mouth that her grandmother got killed, I’d have never stumbled across her.”
Noah snarls.
Bryce laughs, getting his desired reaction. “I must warn you, I’m in somewhat of a foul mood after your little girlfriend here threw rocks at me. Be careful, Noah. I might accidentally hit something fatal.”
No.
*
“Noah!”
“Run, Lara. Now,” he barks.
“No,” I scream.
Bryce turns and aims the gun at me. “Do as he says, pet. I’ll come for you soon enough.”
“No,” I cry defiantly.
Bryce spins around and the pop pop pop of the machine gun goes off. Bullets fling at my feet and I leap backward with a scream. No pain comes and it takes me a moment to realize it was a warning.
“Run,” Noah roars. “Fucking run!”
“Noah.” I tremble, scurrying backward as Bryce pulls out his knife and charges toward me.
“I think you need to learn a lesson.”
“Lara, run!” Noah yells so loudly, so fiercely that I push to my feet and turn, running.
As I disappear through the forest, the sound of the machine gun rips through my soul.
No.
I left him.
What have I done?
TWENTY-THREE
I’m lost again.
I don’t know where I am. It’s dark and I’m terrified. I find an overhanging tree and sit beneath it, but it’s not protecting me from the vicious storm threatening to roll in. I haven’t found the cave. Or the stream. I don’t know if Noah is alive. In fact, right now, I know nothing. My entire body is numb; gone is the fear, the pain, the panic. I feel nothing.
In this moment, I think I could die and be okay with it.
Thunder rolls and lightning can be seen slashing across the sky and hitting the ground in the distance. It’s coming closer and there is a chance I’m going to get stuck in it. I huddle closer to the tree, praying it’ll give me the protection I need, but the truth of the matter is it probably won’t.
Imagine that, a storm takes my life after all this fighting?
I laugh bitterly at the thought.
The storm rolls closer and it begins to rain, softly at first and then it comes down hard. It’s loud, deafening, and it’s freezing cold. I huddle against the tree, but I was right, it isn’t enough to protect me from the rain. Branches sway around me, some snapping, and the wind howls through the trees, giving an eerie whistle that makes my skin prickle. I throw my head back and scream. I let it all out. The fear. The pain. The desperation. I scream until my voice goes hoarse and my body gives way.
Then I lie down on my side and curl into a ball, tucking my head into my arms.