I turn and glare at him. “I don’t. Now go bother someone else. I’m taken.”
He reaches over, taking a strand of my free-flowing hair into his hands and tugging it enough to make it sting. “Sassy little thing, aren’t you.”
Another hand comes into the picture, curling around his wrist and twisting. A harsh cry leaves his mouth and he looks up at the same time I do. Noah is standing there, angry expression on his face, hand wrapped so tightly around the other guy’s wrist that his face is going quickly red with pain.
“Why the fuck do you have your hand on my woman?”
“I was just, ah, she had something in her hair, man,” the other man squeaks.
“Funny, I’m certain I heard her tell you to go away. So why”—Noah leans in close, twisting his hand even more—“the fuck didn’t you go away?”
“Sorry, man. No harm meant.”
Noah twists harder and the man cries out, bottom lip shaking with pain.
“I suggest you leave. Right fuckin’ now.”
Noah lets him go and he stumbles off the bar stool with his friend. When they’re gone, he turns to me. I reach up, grabbing his face and crushing his lips against mine. I kiss him deep and I kiss him hard.
“I love it when you get all caveman,” I murmur against his mouth.
Noah pushes off me and stands, snapping me from my memory. He runs his hands through his hair, and I glance away awkwardly. He leaves his back to me for a few minutes before turning around and reaching out for my hand. I hesitantly take it, and he pulls me to my feet. “We’ve got tonight and one more day before this fucking crazy lunatic comes after us. We need a plan, Lara. Let’s find somewhere to stay for the night and work out what we’re going to do next.”
I nod. I have no other words. My memory has stirred up hidden emotions inside me, emotions I thought I was doing a good job of keeping concealed.
I guess not.
He keeps hold of my hand and pulls me back into the thick forest.
I turn and watch the fence disappear from my view, my heart sinking a little more with every step.
I just don’t know if we’re going to get out of here alive.
I laugh hysterically as he tackles her to the ground.
Granted, I don’t want her to die that quickly, but the very idea that she might have leapt onto that fence and cooked herself is such a good thought, I can’t help but wish it had happened.
Imagine the look on his face if she had the life ripped out of her by a fence. I mean, how hilarious would that have been?
He’s all macho, trying to protect her, and she goes and runs into an electric fence.
I laugh again.
God, she’s so fucking stupid. She just doesn’t think. It’ll get her killed, that I’m certain of.
Oh wait, I’m certain because I’m going to be the one to kill her.
I think I might just kill her first. I’m starting to think Noah will make for a very interesting game when she’s gone.
The decisions. Oh the decisions.
EIGHT
We find a small overhanging rock and decide it’ll be the best we can find before sundown. We fill our coconuts at a passing stream and then find ourselves a comfortable spot on the ground, close to each other for warmth. Noah’s big thigh is pressed against mine, and it’s so warm I want to shuffle closer. My heart pounds being this close to him, and my pathetic, weak side is begging me to climb onto his lap and find the comfort I so desperately need. My stubborn side is refusing to give in that easily.
I feel guilty for having that thought. I shouldn’t be so stubborn. Maybe, just maybe, it’s what got me into this mess in the first place.
I’m beginning to see that I’ve been going about this all wrong. I’ve been shutting Noah out because I couldn’t bear to hear that he didn’t want me anymore, that I wasn’t good enough for him. It was my punishment for getting Nan killed. But now, being around him, seeing him these past few weeks, I’ve realized how much I’ve missed him and am ready to hear his story.
But people aren’t mind readers. They don’t know when you’re wishing with everything in your body that they’d touch you, or pull you into their arms, or kiss you. Noah has always been an open man, always affectionate with that edge of broody.
And tomorrow could likely be my last day on this earth. What have I achieved?
My heart breaks.
“Noah?” I croak, voice small and weak.
“Yeah?”
“That day I walked in, and that woman was on your lap. What happened?”
He goes silent for so long, I wonder if he’s fallen asleep or hasn’t heard me.
“You choose now to ask?” he mutters.
I exhale a shaky breath. “We might die, that’s the cold hard truth of this situation. I never gave you a chance to explain and that wasn’t fair, I know that now. I think I need to hear it.”
He makes a sound in the back of his throat, but starts speaking. “Her name was Amy and she used to come in and help out with paperwork at the fire station, as you know. She had a crush on me, I knew that but I didn’t think she’d do anything. That day she came in and was delivering her usual weekly report and she just walked over and threw herself onto my lap. She kissed me and to be honest, I was in fucking shock. I had no idea what to do.”
“And I walked in,” I whisper.
“You walked in. It was one of those moments you see in a movie, or read about. You picked that exact moment to walk in and see her on my lap kissing me. I wasn’t kissing her back, Lara. I might be a lot of things, but I’d never, not fucking ever, cheat on you.”
A tear rolls down my cheek.
I screwed up.
I lost the love of my life, because of my own insecurity.
“I’m sorry, Noah,” I manage. “That’ll never be enough, I know that. I was so fucked up. So sure I didn’t deserve you after what happened with Nan. I was in such a bad place. You saw me at my worst. You saw me being ripped open and stuffed back together all wrong. When I saw that woman on your lap, I felt like that was my punishment, like I deserved that, like you deserved that. I just didn’t think I was enough for you. That’s the damned truth. So I ran, without thought, without waiting. I just ran. It was easier.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Fuck, Lara. Do you think I would have gone through all that with you after your nan if I didn’t think you were everything I needed? I fucking loved you. I deserved a chance to explain.”
He was so incredible after Nan died. How could I forget how wonderful he was? If it weren’t for him, I don’t think I would have gotten through those months.
I’m sitting by the window, staring out, tears running down my face. I cry more than anything these days, but every single time I think of Nan, I can’t stop the flow of emotion that runs down my face. A strong hand curls around my shoulder and I turn, looking up to see Noah staring down at me, his expression soft.
“I hate seeing you cry, baby.”