She dropped the knife into the sink with a clatter. She put both hands on the counter and sighed.
“Let’s get out of the city,” she said. “Let’s go to the lake.”
—
We got ready in record time, even the boys. Either we all really wanted to go swimming, or we all really wanted to be away from home for the day. When we were down in the garage with the van packed, Claire offered me the keys.
“You drive.”
“I don’t want to.”
“What’s the point in having your learner’s permit if you never use it?”
“I might use it,” I said. “But not here. Did you know that three thousand two hundred eighty-seven people die in car crashes every single day on this planet?”
“No one in this van is going to die.”
“You’re the one who told me that highway is called Sea to Die.”
“It’s a joke,” Claire said. “It’s Sea to Sky, Maeve. You’re not supposed to take it seriously.”
“We should all take it seriously,” I said.
“Oh, Maeve.” She dangled the keys. “Take a chance. Come on.”
“?‘Oh, Maeve’ will not be driving today.”
“Fine. Make the enormous and very sweaty pregnant woman drive.”
“Claire, I…” I should drive. I knew that. But the disconnect between the idea and the action was too vast. “I want to…”
“No, you don’t. Not really.” There was an edge in her voice, but then it vanished. “It’s no big deal. Let’s go swimming.”
—
About an hour later we turned off the highway and onto the road that led to Alice Lake. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
What are you doing today? Let’s get iced mochas and go to the park to listen to the dying goose. He’s improving. Meet me at the park in half an hour?
We’re just about at Alice Lake, I texted. But I’d love to. Later? I’ll text you when we leave.
But it didn’t send. I tried again as we turned into the parking lot. No service. No service. No service. I rolled down the window and stuck the phone out, but still no service.
“No service at the lake,” Claire said.
“Apparently.” I reached the phone out as far as I could, this time in another direction. “Can we just turn around for a second?”
“There’s no reliable service until Squamish.”
“But I got a text from her when we turned off the highway.”
“Then that was a fluke. I’m not driving all the way back to Squamish.” Claire parked the van. “It can wait.”
Before she could even take the keys out of the ignition, the boys grabbed their backpacks, tumbled out the side door, and raced for the beach.
“There’s no way I can herd those boys back into the van to drive you back to the highway, Maeve.” Claire suddenly brightened. “But you could!”
“No way.”
“You can do it. I know you can. You drive in Port Townsend. And this isn’t the city. It’s a quiet road in the middle of nowhere. It doesn’t even have painted lines. Your mom said you need to keep practicing. It’s less than five minutes to the highway.”
“I can’t drive unless there’s a licensed adult with me.”
“Less than five minutes.” Claire pulled the cooler out of the back. “Help me with the wagon.”
I lifted down the wagon and loaded it with all the beach things.
“What if I went and got the boys and brought them back and we just drove down super quick?”
“They’re probably already in the lake.” Claire offered the keys. “You’ll be fine. Go for it. Break the rules. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Be a rebel.”
And if I hit someone? Or someone hit me? Or I drove into a ditch? Or the brakes failed? Or the engine died? Or the police pulled me over because they could see the guilt blazing through the window like a spotlight?
“It’s illegal.”
“When I was sixteen, you had your learner’s for thirty days and then you took your driving test. Boom, thirty days later, full-fledged driver. So they’ve changed the rules. So what? You’ll be fine. Go ahead. You have my blessing.” She held up a finger to stop my next protest. “We’re not going to force the boys back into the van so you can send a text to your girlfriend. It’s not going to happen.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.” At least I didn’t think so.
But I did need to text her. I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. I’d be looking at the mountains and drinking lemonade and swimming in that beautiful water and getting a tan and building sand castles, and all of it would be flattened because I’d be thinking of Salix waiting for my reply. I’d already brushed her off that way. I did not want to keep her waiting again.
How long would it take to walk back to the highway? Half an hour? But then what if Claire was right and there was no signal? Then it would just be stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And I’d miss out on the lake.
“Look, Maeve. Help me haul this to the beach, and we’ll get settled, and then you can go for a swim to clear your head.” She hitched a beach bag onto her shoulder. “I can’t leave the boys alone for this long. People are going to think they’re here by themselves, and the lifeguard already gave me a warning the last time we were here because they were out too far. I had to tell him that they were eight, just so he’d leave us alone, but I know he’s got a hate-on for me, so let’s just go already. Okay?”
Mostly defeated, I picked up the handle of the wagon and started for the trail ahead of Claire.
“Come on, Maeve,” Claire called from not far behind me. “It’s just a text.”
“Okay.”
“She’ll understand.”
“Sure.”
“You could always go by yourself.” That little edge was back.
The wagon bumped and crunched on the gravel.
“Wait up, Maeve.” Claire caught up and put a hand on my arm. “Give a pregnant woman a chance, would you?”
Salix would understand. She wasn’t like me. She didn’t leap from assumption to assumption, adding everything up wrong. She’d go to Thailand on her own. She’d move to New York. She’d wear a rainbow patch for everyone to see.
“Whoo,” Claire puffed. “Whoo, whoo. Okay.”
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” She winced. “Braxton Hicks. That’s all.”
I dropped the wagon handle and took her arms. “Are you sure?”
I’d been reading. Collecting evidence for my argument against home birth. I’d read a lot. Spiritual Midwifery. The Essential Homebirth Guide. Birth Your Way.
“Positive.”
“If you have more than four in an hour, we should call the midwife.” I found a bottle of water in the cooler and gave it to Claire. “Dehydration can bring them on. It’s been so hot. Have you been drinking enough water?”