“Yeah, I totally made that up. But contextually it’s true. You are highly intelligent.”
“I want you to know that I have been fully potty trained for quite some time now. I’m pretty proud of it.”
I laughed again and he gave me a bashful smile.
Damn, he was handsome. It seemed cliché, but his smile really did light up a room. Bright and dazzlingly gorgeous—and he didn’t do it a lot. You really had to draw him out and earn it.
I enjoyed earning it.
It occurred to me that if this was a date, I’d be having a really good time. Like, really good. I’d go home with this one.
Why weren’t guys like this on the dating apps?
But then I knew why. Because Jacob was way too introverted to put himself out there like that. And even if he did, something told me he wasn’t the friends-with-benefits, casual-hookup type—which was the only type I was interested in. His profile would probably say he was looking for a life partner. That he wanted to get married and have kids. I would have swiped left.
But I could still appreciate the view.
“So tomorrow we tell everyone at work,” I said. “I’ll probably do lunch with Jessica to let her know.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“When do you want to come over and see my house?”
He looked at the door. “I can’t see it now?”
“Noooo.” I shook my head. “No no no. I have to clean first.”
And burn some sage, rip up the flooring, and take down the posters from my room that I put up in the eighth grade.
“Okay,” he said again. “How about Friday after work?”
“Sure.”
Then we just sort of stood there, looking at each other. The same way we did that day in the sob closet.
Agreeing to be harmless to each other.
The night was warm and still. Frogs and crickets were chirping from somewhere. Moths fluttered in the porch light, and the overgrown lilac bush by the light post that I really needed to deal with was in full bloom.
The porch swing looked sort of inviting. I kind of wanted to ask him to stay and just sit with him a bit and talk. But we both had work in the morning, and he was probably tired from all the peopling. But I could totally hang out with him longer. I liked him.
He glanced at the swing like he was thinking the same thing. Then he cleared his throat and put a thumb over his shoulder. “I should get going.”
“Yeah. Right.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” He paused at the top of the steps a moment like he was going to say something else. But then he seemed to think better of it and started for the truck.
I crossed my arms as I watched him go. “Jacob?”
He stopped in the walkway and turned back to look at me, those gentle brown eyes.
“Did you really sit at a restaurant for three hours just to talk to me?”
He did that thing where he went quiet.
I was starting to realize these pauses were a protective reflex. He always thought about what he was going to say before he said it. Like he was weighing it, deciding what he should reveal.
Jacob was a fortress. And I got the sense he didn’t let people in very often. But it was imperative that I get in. One, to make this all believable to his family. But two, because I wanted in. I really did want to get to know him.
He intrigued me.
What kind of person protects his ex and his little brother from the consequences of their own fucked-up selfish choices? Thinks of his family’s feelings before he thinks of his own.
Anonymously donates a kidney to a stranger.
Zander had said Jacob would give you the shirt off his back and that whole analogy seemed wildly inadequate now that I knew what Jacob was really like.
He had his own private code of ethics.
I didn’t have that kind of grace. My high road was currently under construction.
But it made me like him so much. And all the stories his family told did too. I wanted to go back in time and hold baby Jacob. Be his friend in high school and tell all his bullies to fuck off. I sort of wanted to tell Jewel to fuck off too…
He waited another beat before replying to my question. “Yes,” he said. “I sat at a restaurant for three hours.”
I shook my head at him. “But…why?”
He fiddled with his keys, looking down at the walkway. “I wanted to talk to you,” he said simply, the same answer he’d given earlier. He looked back up at me and we stood there, peering at each other.
Being harmless to each other.
It didn’t mean anything. I’d wanted to talk to him that day too, and I’d had no agenda. And he was in love with someone else. That was literally why we were here. But it made my stomach do a little twisty thing anyway.
Maybe it twisted because for whatever reason, Jacob liked me. And being liked by Jacob meant something because he was so shy. It’s like when someone’s pet comes to sit with you instead of their person, and you feel like the chosen one. It made me feel a little special, like he saw something in me. Though I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what that was.
“Okay,” I said. “Well, good. I wanted to talk to you too.”
The corner of his lip twitched and he looked down at his shoes. “Good night.”
“Yeah. Good night.”
I watched him get in his truck and drive off before I went inside.
“I thought you hated him,” Jessica said flatly.
We were sitting in the cafeteria at lunch the next day. She had a chicken salad and I was eating a Caesar wrap.
“I think it was just all the sexual tension?”
She narrowed her eyes at me.
“Yeah, you know how thin the line is between love and hate? That whole thing? Turns out it’s true. Who knew.”
“I thought you said you’d never date a coworker.”
“That was more of a guideline than a rule.”
She pursed her lips and skewered a cherry tomato with her fork and chewed it slowly, eyeing me.
We’d made the official announcement this morning. Told Gibson, who seemed one part surprised by it and one part relieved, because even if he hadn’t slipped about the kidney thing, this now meant Jacob would have told me himself, being my boyfriend and all.
The only person in on the scheme was Zander, who I guess Jacob had talked to about his situation. So I asked Jacob if I could tell my best friend, which he agreed to, since it was only fair.
That was an interesting phone call.
Alexis said it sounded like a romcom and to let her know when I got to the Only One Bed scene.
Jacob’s whole family had sent me Instagram requests. We’d have to start posting pictures of us on there, now that we’d gone public with our “relationship.”
When I got home from work, I started in on the house. Jacob was coming over tomorrow to see my place. Honestly, there wasn’t much I could do about the way it looked. It wasn’t dirty, it was just freakin’ old.