I laughed a little.
Then she seemed to remember something, and she reached down next to her and started rummaging in her purse. “I forgot. Here’s the sticker for your car,” she said.
She slid it facedown across the table toward me. “Thanks for taking one.”
I put a hand on top of it. “Of course.”
“I have to get back over there,” she said, looking at her watch. “Hey, why don’t you tell me that family-story thing at lunch tomorrow? Supply closet? Noon?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
“You guys have fun!” she said, plucking another french fry off Zander’s plate. Then she slid out of the booth and was gone, back to her side of the restaurant.
“See? She’s cool,” Zander said, taking his fries back. “I’m telling you, ask her.”
I watched her walk back to the bar and hop onto the barstool next to Hector.
I picked up the bumper sticker and looked at it a moment. It was white with blue letters. It said HELP BENNY FIND A KIDNEY. YOU COULD BE THE MATCH! There was a website under it.
It felt so futile. Like a shout into the void.
This kid was never going to find someone. It was going to take him years.
I’d never imagined donating a kidney to someone I didn’t know. I’d figured if I ever did it, it’d be for someone in my life, not a stranger. A part of me even thought I should hold off in case Mom needed another transplant—though I knew she had four other kids who would gladly step in. She didn’t need me to save mine.
I stared at the sticker.
I didn’t know Benny. But I did know his sister. If I did this, it wouldn’t just change his life. It would change hers.
I looked across the restaurant at Briana. She was laughing with some of the nurses. But I remembered the look on her face earlier when she talked about her brother. I remembered the day he came into the ER and the panic in her voice when she was treating him. I remembered the way she cried in the supply closet that time I walked in on her…How despondent she was. How helpless she probably felt. It was how I would have felt if Mom hadn’t gotten a donor when she did.
She must have sensed me looking at her, because she peered up at me and smiled. A beautiful, genuine, friendly smile.
And in that instant I decided.
“I’m in,” I said, talking to Zander but looking at her.
There was a moment of silence next to me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.”
I looked at him. “I’m in. I’ll do it. I’ll donate.”
He smacked a hand on the table. “All right! Yes!” Then he paused. “You’re sure?”
I nodded. “I’m sure.”
He grinned. “I’ll tell him tonight. That kid’s gonna lose his shit. Seriously, man. You have no idea what this means to them. You’re doing a good thing.” He paused. “And you’re sure you wanna do this anonymously?”
I nodded. “I’m sure. Don’t tell anyone. No one. Not even my mom.”
“You’re not telling your mom?”
“No. I’m not telling anyone.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want my family to know. It was that I didn’t want Briana to know. I didn’t want her to feel like she owed me anything or was obligated to be my friend because of this. I didn’t want strings or the recognition. I just wanted to help her, and I wanted to do it in secret, and my family knowing was too risky. Contact with her had already been breached. I couldn’t trust that Jewel wouldn’t show up at my work again and casually mention me donating a kidney to someone. And Mom too. She knew too many people and there were too many opportunities for this to leak. I wanted it quiet and confidential, at least for now.
And then I had to laugh, because it occurred to me that it was easier for me to donate an entire organ than it was to ask a woman to pose as my girlfriend and come with me to a few family gatherings. My fear of rejection and judgment was that acute.
I guess I just had to decide what scared me the most. Showing up to this wedding alone, or making Briana Ortiz an indecent proposal.
Chapter 14
Briana
When I got home, Alexis was sitting on the porch swing in front of my house.
“What are you doing here?” I said, closing my car door. “I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow!” I ran to hug her.
“I’m staying the night,” she said with her chin over my shoulder, her pregnant belly pressed into mine. “Figured you needed emotional support. Jessica came down today to do a free clinic at my office and she mentioned something about the forest reclaiming the land?”
I laughed and let her go.
“You all right?” she asked, eyeing me.
I sighed. “I’m fine. Sort of.”
As fine as anyone could be on the eve of their divorce.
Tomorrow was the nineteenth. It was finally here. D-day. I’d planned on working and acting like it was any other Wednesday. I’d told Alexis numerous times over the last two weeks not to come. But she came anyway.
I loved her for it.
She looked great. Her red hair was in a ponytail, and she had on a dark green fitted T-shirt and jeans. Small baby bump. No makeup. Everything about her was relaxed. So different than she used to be, back before Daniel. I was also different than I used to be, but not in a good way.
She grabbed a duffel from the swing bench and a brown paper bag. “I brought you muffins,” she said. “I made them from scratch.”
“Of course you did. You’re a country girl now. Did you churn your own butter?”
She laughed. “Shut up,” she said, following me in.
Justin, Benny’s friend, met us at the door on his way out.
“Hey,” I said, surprised and happy that someone was here.
“Hey.”
Benny was in the living room behind him on the sofa. He looked up at Alexis with that flat expression he always wore these days before staring blankly at the TV again.
“Did you guys have a good day?” I asked Justin, my voice hopeful.
He pressed his lips together in a way that meant no.
“We’re gonna go to GameStop tomorrow, right, buddy?” Justin called over his shoulder.
Benny didn’t answer. Justin looked back at me as if to say, This is how he was all day.
“Thanks for trying,” I said quietly.
“Yeah. Of course.” He glanced at Benny again. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”
Justin was a good friend. Brad too. The three of them were tight. Justin’s dad had died a few years ago and Benny and Brad had been there for him during that, and now the guys were here for Benny. Both had been tested to see if they were a kidney match. All of Benny’s friends had. But after that, they started to drop off one at a time. With the exception of Justin and Brad, no one else really came around anymore. I was infinitely grateful to the ones who did.