The winding dark road was lit up by the headlights of the truck. The moon illuminated the mountainous backdrop, shimmering along part of the Wind River. It was all a dark blur around me. Everything had been a blur since I got here. I was seated in the front while Charlotte sat quietly in the back. No one had said a word since we got in the vehicle. I knew Calvin wanted to ask what Joe did to piss me off but he stayed quiet instead. He pulled into a gravel driveway. From what I could see by the glow of a dim porch light, Charlotte took good care of her property. The nicely pruned shrubbery, colorful flower beds, and array of trees all distracted from how dumpy the actual house looked—clearly a fixer-upper that hadn’t been fixed up.
“I’m gonna help get her inside,” he said to me.
I didn’t say anything.
Calvin walked Charlotte up the sidewalk. His hand hovered by the small of her back. She stumbled a little, but he was careful to keep her upright. At the door, she struggled with the keys and ended up dropping them. Calvin bent down, scooped them up, and unlocked the door. The house slowly lit up as they made their way from one room to the next.
Something about their dynamic was strange. It was clear Charlotte was in love with Calvin, but was Calvin in love with her?
The outlines of their bodies came back into view through the large living room window. Charlotte’s body leaned into Calvin’s and his arms wrapped around her. Then they disappeared again. Another light flicked on, then off. Something must have happened between them at some point.
I looked at my cell phone. I had one bar of service but just as I typed in my password, the bar went away, replaced with the words No Service. Of course. I just wanted to check some emails but I couldn’t even do that. At the start of the trip, I liked the isolation. But now, I didn’t know how to feel about it. Ten minutes had passed since Calvin went inside with Charlotte. Just as I placed my hand on the steering wheel to blare the horn, he exited the house, gently closing the front door behind him. He jogged back to the truck and hopped in.
“Sorry that took so long.” Calvin slid the key into the ignition and started it up. “She was pretty drunk, and I wanted to make sure she was all right. I’ve never seen her like that.” The vehicle backed out smoothly onto the main road.
“It’s fine. Is she okay?”
“Yeah. I got her some water and Tylenol and put her to bed.” Calvin stepped on the gas gently.
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I stared out the passenger window at nothing. It was all a dark blur.
A few minutes down the road, he spoke. “What did Joe say to you?”
I glanced over at him. “It doesn’t matter. I told you, it was just a misunderstanding.”
Even though it was dark, I could see his jaw tighten. He swallowed so hard that his Adam’s apple visibly rose and fell. Calvin shook his head.
“I knew I shouldn’t have brought him around you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Did he do something?”
His eyes were tight just like his jaw now.
I knew I was stepping over a line that Calvin didn’t want to cross but I needed to know. Was Joe dangerous? Was I safe at that ranch? I looked at my phone again. No service.
“I really don’t want to talk about Joe,” he said firmly.
My eyes lingered on him. He focused on his driving as if he were studying for a test. It was far too much concentration for driving on an empty country road in the middle of the night. His hands gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly. I hadn’t noticed how large and strong his hands were before. The knuckles on his right hand were an angry red from hitting his brother. I knew something was off with Joe. He was like a peach whose pit had been eaten out by insects, still supple and appealing on the outside, but no substance left on the inside. How Calvin acted around him—tense, anxious, worried—confirmed my suspicions. What had Joe done? And why was Calvin keeping it from me?
Day Six
24.
Calvin
It was just after nine in the morning when I threw open the screen door and reentered the house. All the morning chores were done, feeding and watering all the animals, milking the cows, tending to the coop, and some spring cleaning. I was up by four in the morning, barely sleeping a wink. My mind kept going back to the conversation in the truck with Grace. Why had I reacted like that? Why hadn’t I opened up to her? I think I upset Grace more than Joe did because she trusted me. When we got back last night, she got out of the truck and went straight to bed without saying a word. I stood outside her door, listening. I finally went to my own room after some time—could have been minutes, maybe hours.
Surveying the kitchen, I saw the mug that I left out for Grace was still there, unused. She either wasn’t up yet or she was avoiding me. Slipping off my farm boots, I padded down the hall and stood in front of her bedroom door. It was always calling me like metal to a magnet, pulling me in. I stared for a moment, then leaned my ear against it, listening closely. It was quiet. I pressed my ear against the door harder. Still quiet.
“What are you doing?”
Startled, I stepped away from the door and turned toward Grace. She pulled an Air Pod from her ear and stared at me with those big blue eyes. Dressed in a sports bra, tiny spandex shorts, and a pair of Nike running shoes, she also wore a look of concern. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and her chest, stomach, and face were glistening with sweat.
“Sorry. I was just checking to see if you were awake. I made a pot of coffee and wanted to see if you were hungry,” I stammered, feeling like a fool and maybe a little bit of a creep.
“I’m not hungry.” Grace was curt as she walked toward me with a blank look on her face.
“You must be feeling better if you were out for a run,” I said.
“Yeah.” She grabbed the door handle to her room and opened it. “Do you need anything else?”
I hesitated, glancing down at my feet and then back at her. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have shut you out. It’s just . . .” I paused, sliding my thumbs in the loops of my jeans.
“It’s just what?” she asked. Those big blue eyes became slits.
“It’s just Joe. I’ve been dealing with his bullshit my whole life, and I don’t like talking about him. I’m sorry, and I understand if you want to take off early. I’ll reimburse you for the whole stay.”
I locked eyes with her, trying to convey that I was serious and sincere. If she wanted to leave, I suppose I could respect that. Deep down, I actually thought she should leave. My family brought nothing but trouble. Bad things happened to us and to the people we cared for most. We were cursed. Our ranch was cursed, and our land was cursed.