My mouth falls to that gap between his armor and his helmet. “In case you kiss me again, I want you to know those facts. I’ve told them you kissed me. And they don’t care. Dayton and Fare said they liked it, actually—”
His knee jams in between my legs, wedging them apart. “But did you like that I kissed you?”
I gasp, the feeling of his huge, hard leg in between mine filling me with pressure. My lips linger on that precious gap of skin. “Very much so.”
He sighs, as if in resignation. Then he grinds his leg into me. I let out a small whimper, hands lacing around his neck.
As if aware of how weak he’s made me, Ezryn embraces me. I grasp the edges of his armor, wanting nothing between us.
His hands grip my hips and I melt against him, wondering if his touch will consume me whole. He dips his head to the space between my breasts and lets out a growl. “Sometimes I hate this fucking thing.”
“W-what?” I shake my head, trying to remember what words are.
“The helmet. I want your perfect—” His words turn into a feral snarl.
My breathing grows labored, and I press myself down harder on his knee. Electric pleasure rushes through me, and his name is on my lips. “Ez—”
“Hello?” a voice calls from inside the bedroom. “Rosie? Ez?”
Immediately, we spring away from each other, and I’m left panting and on the edge of madness.
“Where are you?” Dayton’s voice. “It’s almost nightfall. We need to make sure pretty boy Caspian’s spell works on Fare!”
“C-coming!” I call.
Ezryn cups my chin. “Next time,” he growls, “you will be.”
Then his cape snaps in the wind as he turns away from me.
35
Ezryn
Rosalina’s long hair swishes behind her as she leaves the dusk-swept balcony and enters the bedroom. Dayton’s waiting there with his usual shit-eating grin. He sweeps an arm around her as they walk back into the living space, but not before looking over his shoulder and giving me an exaggerated wink.
Stars Above and bones Below. My weight shifts forward until my helmet clunks against the doorframe. I can’t do this to myself. I can’t do this to her.
Since I inherited Spring’s Blessing, I’ve known getting close to people is dangerous. In a selfish way, the curse allowed me an excuse not to engage with the outside world. I’d check in on Spring occasionally, fulfill my needs with women who wanted as little commitment with me as I wanted with them, and then return to Castletree. To the only three people in the world I am unafraid of hurting.
I bang my head against the wall. Stupid. Clunk. Stupid. Clunk. Stupid. There are more reasons to stay away from Rosalina than there are stars in the sky. She’s a human, with a lifespan so much shorter than that of a fae. She’s Kel’s star-damned mate. I need to find my own mate to break my curse.
You’ll hurt her, a familiar voice breathes in my mind. And your brothers—your new brothers—will never forgive you. Just like I haven’t.
“Get out of my head, Kairyn,” I growl under my breath.
I stare at the fading sun. Even through my darkly tinted visor, the bursting rays burn my eyes. This would all be so much easier if she wasn’t like the literal sun itself, tenacious and warm. An unbidden smile creeps up my face as I think of her sitting in that armchair with Astrid earlier, or the light in her father’s eyes whenever she enters a room. She makes everyone feel important. Like the sun coaxing a seed to sprout through frost-covered ground, Rosalina brings out the best in those around her.
I give my head a firm shake. The sun has nearly dipped beneath the horizon, and the others need me.
I walk into the shared living space. Five bedrooms are connected to the central room, one for each of the princes and one for Rosalina. Marigold and Astrid are sharing a room on a lower level, and George has his own space down the hall.
If it was up to me, Rosalina would be far away from Farron’s first transformation while testing Caspian’s spell, but she would have none of it.
Kel, Dayton, and Rosalina stand in the doorway to Farron’s room. Farron paces beside the bed. The curtains are drawn, so I can’t tell exactly when night will fall, but I can feel it. My wolf rising within me. It’s close.
I approach Kel and ask, “Are we prepared?”
“I put a sealing enchantment on the main door to this whole chamber. No one’s coming in here unless I say so.”
At least we won’t have to worry about any poor Autumn staff wandering in and discovering four hideous beasts in the middle of the night. I quirk my head toward Farron. “How is he?”
“Agitated,” Kel mumbles.
“If things don’t go according to plan with Caspian’s spell, he’ll be hard to subdue.”
Kel’s gaze pierces into the room. “Caspian’s bargain will work.”
I sigh. Kel and I are talking, but only about important matters. There’s a distance between us, one I haven’t felt since our argument during the War of Thorns. And that took me scaling an entire mountain and Kel almost losing a hand for us to move past it.
But Kel isn’t my priority right now. I push past him into the room.
“Careful, Ez,” Dayton warns. “It’s going to happen any minute.”
I ignore him and approach Farron. He’s sitting now, back pressed against the side of his bed, staring at the wall. I squat down and place my hand on his neck, just above the thorn collar.
“Your heart’s going too fast,” I say.
Farron’s chest rises and falls, and it’s like he can’t figure out where to focus. His golden eyes race back and forth.
“Look at me, Farron.” I place my other hand on the side of his face.
He does, and I see his fear. His shame. It is a look I know too well, if only because it was the same expression looking at me in the mirror many years ago.
His mother threatened to take back the Blessing—an act not done in recent history of the Vale. The magic is only intended to move forward. I know it is an empty threat, for an attempt to retake the magic could kill them both.
“What if I’ve ruined everything, Ez?” Farron asks, voice breaking. “What if Caspian’s done something terrible to me?”
“Then we put it back together,” I tell him. “All of us.”
He closes his eyes and tears squeeze out, running down his face and over my hands. “I don’t want to hurt people anymore.”
My chest tightens, and I roughly brush his tears away with my thumb. “I’m right here, Farron. We’re staying here with you, alright? I swear, I won’t let you hurt anyone.”
He brings his hand up over top of mine. “Promise me something, Ez?”
“What?”
“If it doesn’t work,” his gaze is so intense, piercing into me, “then you’ll kill me. You’ll do it, won’t you, Ez? I need you to promise.”
I recoil, horrified, but Farron holds me tighter and pleads, “Please, Ez.”
“I… promise. Now breathe with me.” I place his hand on my chest so he can feel the rise and fall of my breath. In and out, we breathe. I am steady for him, a mountain to his gale. But the tempest claws within me. I have made a promise I cannot keep.
We take another deep breath in and out, and his pulse slows beneath my fingertips. “I think it’s about to happen, Ez.”
“I know.” I pull him toward me. Then I raise the barest edge of my helmet, just enough so I can kiss the top of his forehead. “I’m with you, little brother.”
“You need to leave,” he says, voice deep and guttural.
I stand, armor trembling with the movement, and back up to the others. Kel and Dayton have stripped down to their flesh to avoid destroying their clothes, but Rosalina’s not looking at them. She’s fixated on Farron.
I quickly shed my armor except for my helmet, which my snout pushes off during the turn. Then I stare out the big window in the living area. The sun dips below the horizon.
Energy crackles through my body as my bones snap, grow, rearrange. At first, the shift made me nauseous from the mere thought of my body mutating, but now each change feels natural. The line between the man and the wolf grows thinner with each turn.