Renner’s eyes light up.
Prickles of heat crest my cheeks. So much for keeping my crush on Clay on the DL. I begrudgingly lean in to peer at the list of more realistic options, hoping this will distract Renner.
Kassie clears her throat. “Curtis Carlson?”
“Nope. Jasmine will cut me.” Curtis is my friend Jasmine’s most recent ex. And after spending the better part of a sleepover performing a ceremonial exorcism wherein we burned Curtis’s hoodie, slippers, photos, and all the gifts he ever gave Jasmine in a firepit, going to prom with him just wouldn’t sit right with my soul.
“Moe Khalifa?”
I tilt my head. “I did a group project with him in Law. He’s a decent guy. Did his portion of the work. Made me somewhat regain my trust in humanity. Unlike some people.” I flash Renner a pointed look.
He grins like a deranged clown from that Stephen King book. “Khalifa is asking Naomi. I heard him bragging about it in the locker room.”
Kassie continues down her dwindling list of potentials. “Okay, how about Kiefer Barry?”
Before I can decline, Renner snorts. “Barry? Dude’s a snooze. Next.”
Sadly, Renner is right. Barry is one of those guys who tries to impress people by bringing up Nietzsche and Voltaire in casual conversation. My dryer lint trap is probably more interesting than him.
“Damian Mackey?”
I shush Kassie. Damian is sitting a mere three tables away. “Too immature,” I whisper at the precise moment he launches a spitball through a plastic straw.
Kassie sighs and turns her phone over. “No offense, but you can’t afford to be this picky only four days out. There aren’t any more single, half-decent-looking Maplewood guys.”
Thanks for the reminder, Kass, I want to say. But I don’t. I know she means well.
Nori slaps the table with her palm. “Wait, Char. You want a mature guy, right?”
I raise my brow. “Do specimens of that variety even exist?”
“What about my cousin Mike?” Nori suggests. “He’s a college freshman. He’s super mature. His favorite book is A Handmaid’s Tale.”
A momentary flutter tickles my stomach. A dude who’s into feminist literature? Praise be. I’ve only met Mike once at Nori’s family reunion. He’s super nice and cute in a discreet, nonthreatening way—definitely the type who’d hold the door for you and still say thank you.
Renner’s lips perk in amusement. “A college guy, huh?”
“I think I’m done with high school guys,” I decide.
This elicits an eye roll from Renner. I’m shocked his eyeballs aren’t lodged in the back of his head. “Oh, right. You’re too mature for us. Because a frat boy who does keg stands every weekend is much more on your level.”
“First, my type would never be caught dead doing a keg stand,” I point out. “They’d be in the library, studying, taking their future seriously. And second, don’t act like you’re not diving headfirst into the frat life the moment your toe hits campus. That’ll be you in a year and a half, getting your stomach pumped after ten Coronas too many.”
Nori snorts. It’s far too easy to visualize.
Renner looks slightly wounded. “You really think I’ll be some sketchy frat guy in college?”
“It’s your destiny, as one of the most popular guys in school,” I confirm.
“Last time I checked, I had free will. But okay.”
“Come on, Renner. Most girls would eat their own arm for a chance to make out with you, and you’re too weak to resist the power that comes with that,” Kassie points out.
A shiver rolls down my spine as I zero in on his perfectly shaped lips. For a split second, I wonder if he’s really as good a kisser as Kassie said.
He lets out a deep laugh and the thought vanishes. “You really think girls would dabble in cannibalism for a shot at this?” He gestures dramatically at his bod with a french fry.
“Yes,” I reluctantly admit. “For god knows what reason, everyone loves you.”
“Except for you.” He pretend frowns at his lunch tray.
I don’t bother to correct him.
“I’ll have you know, I’ve been turned down by many girls.”
I open my mouth in pretend shock. “Who turned you down? I’ll need to get their autographs.”
“Carrie-Anne Johnson in seventh grade. Nathalia Green, just last month, actually. And—”
“You’ve been turned down by two whole girls in your entire seventeen years of life. The pain!” I clutch my chest in faux agony as Nori and Kassie snicker.
“Hey! My ego is very fragile.”
“I’m aware of that. Anyways, Nori, Mike is a potential. It could be a good opportunity to get some advice on meal plans,” I say, drumming my chin.
Renner looks at me like I’m an extraterrestrial. “You’re really gonna spend prom night talking about college meal plans? Talk about a buzzkill.”
I poke a mental pin into my imaginary J. T.-shaped pin doll. “Sorry, I didn’t realize talking about our immediate future was so boring.”
He shrugs. “We have less than two weeks left until graduation. I’m not wasting it thinking about college.”
“So anyway . . . ,” Nori pipes in, trying to steer us away from another brawl. “J. T., who’s your lucky prom date?”
“Why? You wanna go with me?” He gives her his stupid wink, which strangely, only he can pull off without looking like a raging pervert. He’s kidding, obviously, because everyone knows Nori is going with Tayshia. They’re back together after a monthlong breakup.
Nori gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “You’re not equipped to handle me. Sorry, bud.”
“J. T., I told you in the group chat that Andie is waiting for you to ask her,” Kassie says, examining her leopard-print fingernails that she spent all of last period painting. Her voice trails when she realizes her mistake. They have a separate group chat, without Nori and me. I found out last year when she asked me to take pictures for her photo shoot at the park. I haven’t admitted I know about it, because I’m fairly certain someone else must have started it. Kassie wouldn’t intentionally leave me out.
“Wait—Andie? She’s not still with that Travis kid from St. Ben’s?” Renner asks.
Andie has been Kassie’s second best friend for longer than the usual—around six months now, since they started working together at Kassie’s parents’ store. Andie has the IQ of a Twinkie (though I don’t hold that against her), but she’s an effortless kind of cool. The girl who can rock a baseball hat and her boyfriend’s flannel and still look dainty and cute. Meanwhile, the rest of us look like Home Depot trainees. She’s also supermodel tall and confident enough to flaunt her midriff on the regular. Basically, the opposite of me.
My relationship with Andie is similar to Kassie and Nori’s. We’re friends, according to the niceties of high school, but I can guarantee we won’t stay in contact after graduation. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a bad person. She’s just one of those people I don’t want to be left alone with because we’d have nothing to say to each other.
“She and Trav were never official. He was too clingy,” Kassie explains. He also showed up to every party a six-pack deep, wasted to the point of peeing in Ollie’s pool. But she leaves that part out. “Andie needs someone to match her energy. Someone with more confidence,” Kassie explains, winking at Renner.
I snort. “No shortage of confidence over there.”
“Hey, nothing wrong with confidence.” Renner’s eyes sparkle with interest, as they always do when someone pads his ego. “I’d be into Andie. She’s pretty hot.”
Kassie squeals, delighted that she’s made at least one suitable match. “Oh my god. You two would have beautiful babies.”
I’m overcome by a heaving gag, triggered by the thought of Renner in action, no matter how many abs he has (six, but who’s counting?). The scent of someone’s microwaved fish lunch a few tables over isn’t helping.