Breakfast is quieter than normal with Aurora missing and I hate it.
She’s practically a Honey Acres expert, after coming here as a camper for so many years, and she spends so much time during meals when we’re all sitting together answering questions about what it will be like when the kids are here.
Emilia sits down with her food and gives a vague answer about Aurora feeling sick and not wanting breakfast, not revealing that she’s definitely hungover.
I wait until everyone is deep in conversation about the pros and cons of semester abroad programs before slipping away and setting off toward cabin twenty-two with a bottle of orange juice and some granola bars.
Aurora is already on the porch when I get there and the way her face drops when she sees me stings. I hover at the bottom of the steps. “Hey. I brought you breakfast like I promised.”
She accepts reluctantly, looking at my offering like I’m a cat who just dropped a dead mouse at her feet. “Thanks.”
“I wanted to see how you’re feeling, Emilia said you’re feeling sic—”
“Russ, what are you doing?” she asks, cutting me off.
“I said I’d bring you breakfast last night. You probably don’t remember, you were pretty drunk.”
“No, I mean here. Now.” She shakes her head, dragging her hand through her hair. “You’re either super nice to me or you avoid me. And now you’re here, being sweet and I don’t know if you’ll be like this all day and I’m tired of wondering what I’ve done to make you not like me.”
“I do like you. I’m sorry, Aurora. I do like you.”
She sits on the top step, putting her breakfast on the ground beside her. I can sense her frustration growing. “You’re nice all the time, but it’s with everyone but me, Russ. Everyone. I’m so tired of being treated like that when I’m at home—”
The guilt fucking sucks. The last thing I want to do is make things for her harder, especially when she’s totally right. I have made an effort with everyone but her. The first thing I should have done after my call with JJ yesterday was apologize to her. Instead, I sort of hoped it’d just blow over and we could both ignore it. I should have known it wouldn’t work like that. Spending all your time with a group of people in an isolated place makes everything feel bigger and more intense, even after only a short time, and I know that’s only going to increase as time goes on.
I know I need to be honest with her, so she realizes I’m the problem not her, but the words just won’t come because I’m a coward.
“—and I came here to escape those feelings and work on myself. I don’t know what I’m doing, but whatever it is I’m doing a totally shitty job so far, so I don’t need you making it worse by blowing hot and cold for the rest of the summer. If you only want to try to be my friend some of the time, I’d prefer you to just, I don’t know, just don’t try. Ignore me all the time, it’ll be easier to cope with.”
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to start talking. “Rory, I messed up. I’m sorry. When you walked out and didn’t leave your number or say bye, I thought that was your way of telling me you didn’t want to hear from me again,” I say calmly, trying to suppress the feelings of embarrassment. “Then we were dropped into this situation together and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I get that I shouldn’t have assumed and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Her jaw is hanging open as she looks up at me from the step. “I know I’m hungover, but did I just hallucinate and hear you say the reason you’ve been like this since we got here is because I left? When you wanted me to leave?”
“I didn’t want you to leave. What are you talking about?”
She stands quickly, the steps making us about the same height, giving me the perfect view of how confused her face is right now. “You were in the bathroom for so long. You were waiting for me to go. I heard you talking to someone so I left.”
“I was talking to myself, Rory. I was hyping myself up to ask you out, which is something I hoped to never have to admit out loud to you, but I’d rather embarrass myself than have you think I’m the type of guy that would wait in a bathroom for you to leave.”
“Oh my God.”
“I never do the one-night stand thing and I thought we had fun. I wanted to see you again, but you’re so out of my league and—”
“Oh my God.” She drops back to the step and this time I crouch down in front of her as she hides her face in her hands. “Miscommunication. Russ, we did the miscommunication thing. You made me a miscommunicator!”
This conversation is too much to process. “A what?”
“We could have just had a conversation. This is not the kind of main character moment I’m looking for in my life!” She groans loudly, peeking at me between her fingers.
Reaching forward, I wrestle her hands away from her face, so she has to look at me. Her head tilts to the side as she takes me in, her expression falling somewhere between frustration and relief. “I’m sorry, Rory. I always fuck everything up. I mean it when I say I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“If you hadn’t avoided me last night, drunk me would have probably asked why you were acting weird during truth or dare, loudly also with an audience, so we’d have got to the bottom of it one way or another.” Her left hand is still holding mine, but her right is drawing patterns across my palm. I know I should stand up and leave now we’re both on the same page, but lack of self-control is clearly a Callaghan trait.
“Drunk you nearly got us caught by Jenna last night.” I sigh. “I can’t promise I’m going to be around when you’re being reckless, Aurora. I really need this job and I can’t risk being fired, so if it happens again, please don’t think I’m avoiding you.”
She groans again, this time accompanied by a dramatic eye roll, but her fingers keep dancing across my skin. “I don’t think I’m going to drink anymore anyway. But nobody ever actually gets fired, Russ. People break all kind of rules while they’re here and nothing ever happens.”
The memory of how soft Aurora felt beneath me invades my brain.
Think with your head not your dick, Callaghan. “I don’t want to test that theory.”
“But testing the theory is the fun part.” She smiles at me, a real one that makes a little line appear at the corner of her eyes. “And the trick is to not get caught.”
Her eyes burn into me and I should look away, but I can’t. They travel down to my lips, then back to my eyes; her teeth sinking into her lip.
I want to kiss her.
She looks like she wants to be kissed.
It takes every shred of restraint to not lean in, especially when she’s looking at me like that. Sighing, I force myself to remember why I’m here and what it is I’m avoiding. “I just want to peacefully co-exist with you and stay out of trouble, Aurora.”
She shrugs, dropping her hands into her lap as I stand. “That’s fine. I’m supposed to be working on myself or something anyway. It was really clear in my head, now it’s kind of fuzzy. I should probably get back to doing that.”
“I need to go before someone comes looking for me. I don’t want them to think it’s weird we’re here alone. I’m sorry again, I’m glad we’re on the same page now.” It’s an oddly formal response to a personal revelation, but the longer I’m around her the easier it becomes to say maybe I could test her theory a little.
Thankfully she doesn’t call me out. I watch as she unscrews the orange juice and holds it up to me. “To our peaceful co-existence.”
Chapter Twelve
RUSS
“Why do you look like the golden retriever that got the bacon?” Xander says suspiciously, scrutinizing every inch of me.
“The what?” I watch Salmon and Trout’s ears twitch at the mention of bacon and it immediately becomes clear why Xander is their favorite this morning.