Edinburgh USO
“Uh, Miss Snow. Can I have that dance now?” Winnie is waiting for me at the bottom of the stage stairs. His cheeks are red, and sweat drips from his hairline. I’ve seen him on the dance floor off and on throughout the night, and every time he caught my eye, I made sure to send a wink his way.
“Absolutely, soldier,” I say, needing a break from searching the room for Tom and Pearl. It was bad enough to see them flirting right in front of me, and when they took to the dance floor, it was worse. Now they’re nowhere to be found—their absence is devastating. My mind fills in every minute with excruciating detail.
Winnie is the perfect distraction. He swings me onto the floor with the fluidity of Fred Astaire. Excitement surges with each twirl. As the music swells, Winnie puts his hands on my waist and raises an eyebrow, and I know what he’s about to do. I give a tiny nod as he picks me up and tosses me from side to side and then pulls me through his legs, and I twist, close to airborne.
The other dancers make space, and a circle of spectators gathers to watch. His wide grin makes him look childlike, not like a scared little boy but like a boisterous kid running up and down a football field or cheering at a baseball game. The song ends, and the onlookers applaud as both of us breathe heavily. A new song starts up immediately. The tempo is slow and luxurious, and though I’m parched and exhausted, I follow Winnie’s lead and let his thin but strong arms keep me upright.
“Where’d you learn to dance like that?” I ask, still catching my breath.
“My mamma owns a dance studio in Clinton. When someone in the class was short a partner, she bribed me with Red Hots to get me to fill in.”
“I think I’m gonna need to send your mamma a thank-you note because—now don’t go back and tell your bunkmates this . . .” I push my pointer finger into his shoulder. “You’re the best dancer I’ve met in a long time.”
Winnie stumbles, and I catch him with a light touch.
“I don’t know what you’re getting on about—I’ve got two left feet right now,” he says with a slight stutter, the redness fading from all parts of his face but his cheeks.
“You’re not gonna fool me on this one, buddy.”
I’m laughing at his humility and youthful innocence, intoxicated by the bubbly buoyancy of his practiced footfalls, each like a sip of champagne. I’m still giggling as he flicks me out for a gentle, graceful spin. I close my eyes, enjoying the pace of the waltz, knowing I can give myself over to his lead.
But as I extend my right arm halfway through my turn, a strong hand roughly grasps my wrist. My eyes fly open. I’m pulled between the gentle touch of baby-faced Winnie on one end of my wingspan and the tough grip of a stone-faced Tom Highward on the other.
“May I cut in?” he asks me rather than Winnie. The glossy glower in his eyes makes it more of a demand than a politely worded request.
I have little say in the tug-of-war. I’m furious at Tom and sympathetic to Winnie, but the rulebook specifies that my preference means little—the negotiations remain between the two men. Like most of the choices in my life, I’m strung between the hold of men making decisions on my behalf.
Winnie looks at Tom and then back to me, shrugging and releasing my hand. I don’t blame him for not wanting to fight.
“Thanks for the dance,” he says as he’s swallowed up by the crowd of overheated, lonely soldiers and tired, lonely volunteers. He crashes into a couple. The soldier glares at Winnie, who apologizes to the dancing pair and to me as well.
Tom yanks me toward him, and I follow his lead, though it’s tight and possessive in a way that frightens and thrills me.
“That’s too close.” I wriggle against his firm chest where I’m pinned. I can smell him—a tang of sweat and the heady hint of whiskey but also a warm, spicy scent underneath it that for the briefest second makes me want to nuzzle in even closer instead of breaking away.
“Didn’t seem to be a problem when that kid had his hands all over you.”
I ignore the accusation and push away enough to put some room between us, hoping none of the senior hostesses saw. They’re lenient but not blind.
“I’m not sure what Pearl lets you get away with, but I’d like to keep my job.”
He sneers wryly.
Fury boils at my temples. He knows he’s upsetting me, and what’s worse—he likes it. If only I were feisty like Scarlett O’Hara—I’d slap him right across the face and run away, tears streaming down my cheeks.
But I’m not a romantic heroine, so I stay, pulled in by an invisible magnetism that refuses to let go. We sway back and forth with little rhythm other than the steady rise and fall of his chest and the faint beating of his heart. I wonder if he can hear mine, too, or feel it through my thin cotton dress.
“Don’t you care?” he whispers, the words and his hot breath tangling in my hair. His voice is thick with emotion.
“Care?” I ask defensively, tilting my head back so I can see his expression. I expect him to be looking off into the distance, but he’s not. He holds my eyes hostage. A tingling electricity rushes across my skin and swells through my whole body. It’s hard to breathe, and I have an odd urge to cry.
“What you do to me. Don’t you care?”
His fingertips press into the pliable flesh at my waist, and though he maintains regulation distance, I feel closer to him than ever. It’s like a part of me and a part of him extend past the mortal barrier of flesh and meet in the space between.
“I . . . I . . .” Even if I knew what I wanted to say, there’s no way I’d get the words out when he’s touching me this way.
The music stops for an announcement. I can’t hear it. Tom holds me and shifts from foot to foot like a band’s playing in his imagination.
“You don’t even know how perfect you are; do you?” He touches my hair and shakes his head like he’s remembering something sad.
“Nobody’s perfect.”
“You are. I swear to God, you are.”
The floor starts to clear, and reality returns with the flip of a switch. This is my least favorite moment—when the lights come on and all the dreams of the night evaporate. The strong-jawed hero who held you close transforms into a farm boy from Kansas with a dead front tooth and semicircles of sweat under his arms. And the girls who walked in with perfect pin curls and matte lipstick now have flat hair, wobbly legs, and faded lines on the back of their calves where they’d drawn nylon seams.