I try not to grimace at the words, but he must see it.
“You cannot fathom anything more than one life because it is all you expected, but you must learn to see the greater possibilities, Sorinda. You must imagine all the good you could do with immortality. Imagine a life where you can fulfill your every whim because no one can stop you.”
My every whim?
No.
I live for others because my sins are unforgivable. I serve Alosa because she is good and will keep me on the right track.
Anything else is unthinkable.
“Good, you are considering the possibilities,” he says, misinterpreting my silence. “That is all I can ask for today. That you just consider what we could do. Now then, do you have any questions about me? Not what I can do but who I am? Please, Sorinda, just get to know me. I know you’ll like what you learn.”
Chapter 18
OH NO.
Now I have to feign interest in him?
I’ve never done that before in my life.
I’m no actress. I’m not good at being anything other than myself or silent, which I suppose are the same thing.
I rack my brain for something to ask this man with the expectant, hopeful features. The one who holds my future and that of my crew in his hands.
“How old are you?” is what comes out first.
“I was twenty-five when I set out to find my sister’s cure.”
“What did you do to support yourself?”
He looks around the chamber proudly. “I apprenticed with a stone mason.”
“You helped build this place?”
“Initially, it was made out of wood, but when the land changed, I decided to rebuild out of stone. Not that it mattered if I was exposed to the elements. But privacy is something that I craved dearly, and it barely took any time at all to build with the undead’s help.”
Delightful. Every stone has been touched by rotting fingers.
“Am I allowed to go outside?” I ask.
“That question does not tell you anything about me.”
“Except it does. It will tell me how overbearing you are and what I can expect in the future.”
He tilts his head back and assesses me from lowered eyes, as though trying to decide if I’m being devious or sincere. But he already knows me too well. Surely he must guess.
“When you agree to be mine, you may go outside and do whatever else you wish. Until then, we’re to spend time together.”
I look to the floor, as though trying to hide disappointment.
“Do not look so downcast,” he says. “I have allowed you to keep your weapons. I have offered you food and clothing and shelter. I haven’t harmed a single soul of your crew. These things will continue, but I expect something in return, Sorinda. Your time and patience.”
I let my hand drift toward the hilt of my sword and clench the comforting leather around the handle.
Manipulation.
It’s such an ugly tool men use to get what they want. I saw it time and again with the pirate king. The fact that Threydan is trying it with me makes my blood boil. And in that rich anger that fuels my desire to kill, I realize something very, very important.
“Stop,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Hmm?”
“Stop thinking of yourself as some benevolent person. You let me keep my weapons because I cannot harm you with them. You have offered me clothing that was already here when we arrived and made sure to feed me because you need me alive to accept your offer. You didn’t hurt my crew because, as you said, it would ruin your chances with me. But all these choices? All these things you have done? They’re still about you. You, Threydan, are selfish. You do not think of anyone but yourself. And do you know what I think?
“I think you cannot complete the ritual until I am willing to complete it. Otherwise you would have done it by now. You were able to start it because I was distracted by the onslaught of your memories. But to finish, you need me to agree to it. How close am I?”
His lips tighten; his jaw clenches.
“You’re stuck with me, but I am an unwilling partner. So now what will you do? Hurt me? Hurt my crew? How will that convince me to your side? It won’t.
“You should know by everything you’ve seen of me that I am too clever to believe your lies and omissions. So I’m going to leave now. You’ve given me a lot to think about, and now it’s time to give me some space. We can talk again later.”
I have no intention of speaking with him again, but he can’t know that. He needs to be convinced this is the best way to get him what he wants.
“Which way to the exit?” I ask him.
Threydan says nothing for so long that I worry he’s contemplating horrible ways to punish me for my outburst. But finally, he points. “Through that door. Down the hallway. Make a left.”
I take one step.
“Sorinda.”
My body freezes in place.
“I will let you leave on one condition. The man, Kearan—you must make it perfectly clear that anything he hopes for between you two is not possible. Break his spirit if you must, but he needs to accept that you’re mine now. And should you fail to do this, I will make it clear in a way he will never recover from. Do you understand me?”
I try to swallow past the tightness in my throat. “I understand.”
“Good. I will seek you out in three days’ time. Your crew’s camp is to the south.”
I take another step toward the exit.
“Do not let it be said that I cannot be kind. You want your time? I’m giving it to you. Remember that, dearest.”
“I will,” I say in what I hope is an encouraging tone. I will say anything to get away from this man now.
“You will, of course, wish to move your crew to a location where you think I can’t find you. Don’t bother. You’re always being watched.”
I spin in place. “Do not have your undead follow me.”
“I will do as I wish.”
I turn back around. Take another step toward the exit.
But he speaks again, and I wonder if I will ever make it out of this stone prison.
“As a further show of good faith and my devotion to you, I have a present for you. You’ll find it on your way back to camp.”
“What will I find?” I ask.
“Go before I change my mind.”
I leave, slowly at first, but once I clear the stone shelter, I take off at a run. My muscles are still sore from days of misuse, but they’re about to loosen up from the workout I intend to put them through.
It was too much to hope that he wouldn’t send his undead to follow me, so I take roundabout paths, hide in the trees, move like a cat to lose anything Threydan might have tailing me. He knows where my crew is camped, but with any luck they’ve moved.
What I want—what I need—is to be alone. Truly alone where nothing and no one is watching me. I need time to think. Time to process. To understand. To plan my next move.
And I need to do it without the undead breathing down my neck.