Kira claimed the last piece of distance that would bring her shoulder to shoulder with him as she joined him in cloud gazing. "Odin and I have been searching for the Tsavitee home world for eight years. If it was that easy to find, we would have found it by now. We're close, but we're not there. Aeron has actually been where we need to go."
Not to mention reaching Odin would take them several days of travel. Then more time after that in space while they located the Tsavitee home world. That was if Odin had managed to find the coordinates.
Aeron's information could shorten their journey considerably.
It was a long shot, but one Kira judged worthwhile.
"Every time I see his face, I'm overcome with rage. It's my daughter who should be here. Not him."
Kira put her arm around his shoulder and leaned her head against him as they continued to watch the sky.
Something that sounded almost like a sob escaped him before he swallowed it down. "I know I need to be in control right now. I promise to do better."
She patted his back and straightened. That's all she could ask for.
"What about you?"
Kira sent him a blank look of incomprehension.
"Come on, Nixxy. I heard about what happened in that meeting. I'm not like these others. I know the primus isn't a card you'd ever willingly play. I'm not the only one with control issues, am I?"
Raider had always understood her in a way most hadn't. He knew her secrets. Her deepest fears. He should, since he'd been the one to hold her hand in the aftermath of one of her primus's rampages. He'd helped her through her guilt and grief.
Her gaze dropped as a self-deprecating laugh escaped. "I guess there's no use lying."
"I'd say we're past that. At least to each other."
"I'm scared, Raider. I feel lost. Like there's a Jin shaped hole in my soul."
Kira could barely remember a time when he wasn't there, crouched in his corner of her mind. Their connection a constant. The thing keeping her going when the rest had fallen.
Raider couldn't quite hide his hint of worry. "He's alive. You'd sense it if he was gone."
"My head knows that, but the rest of me—"
The rest of her wasn't convinced. It felt the dead space where Jin should be and grieved.
"The primus is maintaining my mental state." At least it had been until Graydon's arrival shredded the balance she'd established. The primus was still there. Just a little more distant than it had been. "Without it—"
"You're afraid you'll go into a fugue state again."
Kira's nod was shaky.
"This isn't the first time, is it?" he asked.
"No."
"Rothchild." There was a flicker of pain on his face as he looked away from her. "That's why you were different. Why you were so cold despite—"
"Yes." Kira's answer was little more than a whisper of sound.
Raider closed his eyes, grief stamped on his features. "Ah, Kira, I wish I'd known."
She shook her head. "You couldn't have."
She hadn't been in a sharing mood back then. It was all she could do to bury everything. She'd had to become a creature of vengeance to keep putting one foot in front of another. Her relationships with Raider and a few others were sacrificed in the process.
"What a broken pair we make," Raider said before giving her a serious look. "You watch my back; I watch yours? We keep the other from going too far."
Kira nodded, liking the sound of that. "Just like old times."
They shared a look, remembering those times. The battles they'd fought and won. The impossible odds they'd always managed to tilt in their favor.
Yes, old times in that they'd lay waste to anything that interfered with the pursuit of their mission.
A narrow, oblong shape arrowed across the sky from the direction of the Hold, interrupting the moment. It landed on the edge of the space port.
"Looks like Blue made it," Raider observed.
"We'll get underway as soon as she's on board."
"I'll wait here for her." Raider glanced at the oshota waiting on the Wanderer's landing ramp. "You should deal with the big guy. I'm betting he has a lot to say."
"I think you’re right about that," Kira said with resignation as she headed toward the ship.
There'd be no dodging this conversation. One she'd known would be waiting for her the moment she'd decided to leave her oshota behind.
In the last few months, Kira had become versed in Finn-speak. Right now, the inscrutable expression on his face proclaimed his extreme displeasure.
She'd had no idea a person could be so verbose without ever saying a single word.
"You couldn't have come," Kira declared, immediately taking the offense.
"I'm a shield. A shield is useless if you leave it behind all the time," Finn said, falling into step beside her as she started up the ramp.
"We've been over this. I'm less interested in a shield than I am a partner."
Finn stopped her with a hand on her arm. "And as your partner, I dislike when you exclude me."
"This was to protect you. I draw the line at letting you commit treason with me."
"You allowed Raider and Blue to come."
"They're human. Rash. Immature. As the Tuann would say. They can't be expected to make reasonable judgment calls. The same grace wouldn't have been extended to you."
"That would be more believable if the emperor's youngest Face hadn't accompanied you back."
Kira scowled, still sore that Graydon had won on that point. "I made that argument to him as well. He simply refused to listen."
If she could have talked sense into him, she would have.
"You realize passing the adva ka makes you subject to our laws. The consequences you'll face for this will be the same as mine."
"The difference is I've never been afraid to throw myself into the metaphorical fire. I'm less inclined to allow others to do the same," Kira said with a shrug.
It made her a hypocrite, but that had never bothered her.
"I will not be left out next time," Finn informed her. "I'm with you to the end—whether you agree or not."
Kira's eyes narrowed. "We'll see."
"We will indeed," Finn agreed.
Their standoff lasted only until Finn handed her the object he'd been carrying. Jin's original form. A J1N combat drone. Originally built with military use in mind for reconnaissance and tactical reinforcement on Consortium planets and outposts where bandits and pirates were a common problem.
Kira and Jin had re-purposed it to fit their needs, installing cameras so the J1N had a 360-degree view at all times. They'd added a lens to the front that looked like a large eye. An inside joke they'd taken from an old Earth show. They'd also retrofitted it with every weapon they could get their hands on, making it a true threat to their enemies.
The drone was a sphere about the size of Kira's head, capable of compressing itself to something a little larger than a softball when needed. Right now, it was in its larger form, its weight heavier than it appeared.
Finn started up the ramp, drawing Kira's attention to the man waiting a few steps outside her ship. It took a moment to recognize that surly expression.
Talon.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have a bar to tend?" Kira asked.
For once his shaggy, unkempt hair had been tamed into submission and brushed back from the sharp planes of his face. There was a watchful look in his eyes, the light amber color hard to read as he flicked his gaze from Kira to Finn.