“Gross.” I grab a pillow from the couch and whack her with it. The pillow narrowly misses hitting her coffee, which earns me a glare because while Dax sees his coffee as an almost religious experience, my sister considers hers a drug that enables her to function.
“There are things that, as your sister, I do not need to know. But my question was not about being married to your best friend. I’m wondering if you believe that a man and woman can be true, platonic friends, without sex stuff ever entering the picture.”
“Of course I think it’s possible,” Kiersten says. “Why do you ask?”
I think back to the rooftop conversation. “Last night Dax said something that implied the Dax in my timeline might be in love with me.”
I expect a wisecrack back. Or some sort of rib about how not every guy who wants to hang out with me is secretly in love with me. Instead, she sets down her coffee and looks at me thoughtfully.
“Well, do you think he is?”
“No,” I answer before my brain has a chance to process that the real answer might be maybe.
“He’s never said anything,” I clarify. “Never implied that he has any other feelings aside from friendship. The night before I wound up here, I was very drunk. And not wearing pants. And I’m pretty sure I told him I loved him and then kissed him and he just left. Poof. Took off. Zero moves made from his end.”
Kiersten narrows her eyes. “You don’t think that had to do with the drunk part?”
She’s not getting it.
“He dates other people. He was probably going to have sex with this hot, sexy vet before all”—I wave my hand emphatically around the room—“this happened.”
Kiersten raises a skeptical eyebrow as she lifts the lid to the doughnut box. “And you’re not in love with him?”
“She is.”
Again, Aunt Livi answers before I get a chance to.
“I’m not,” I say to both her and Kiersten.
“You’re not what, poodle?” My aunt looks at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“I’m not in love with Dax. He’s not in love with me. No one is in love with anyone else.”
Aunt Livi nods her head in agreement. “Of course, sweetheart. We’re not doubting you.”
I throw up my arms. “Well, why did you just say I was?”
Aunt Livi squishes her eyebrows together. “I must have been talking to the books. It happens sometimes. Ignore the old bat. I’m probably going senile.”
My aunt is far from senile.
“I have known you for twenty-eight years, Gems.” My sister injects herself back into the conversation. “And I’ve never once seen you talk about someone the way you do this Dax guy. You are either trying to figure out how to see him again or talking about the last time you saw him. All signs are pointing to smitten. But what I can’t figure out is why you’ve never dated this guy in your timeline. You guys like all the same things, and he’s dreamy. I’m failing to see the problem.”
“He’s my best friend. I don’t think of him like that.”
“Yes. You’ve said that. But there must have been a point when he wasn’t yet your best friend. You’re telling me you never considered…”
I don’t know if the rest of the sentence is dating him or fucking him. Either way, the answer is, “It’s complicated.”
She pulls a second doughnut from the box. “Explain away. I’ve got time.”
I’m sure she does. And I’m sure when I tell her all of it, she’ll understand. The problem is that I don’t quite know where to start.
“I guess I never got the chance to think about Dax as anything but my friend.”
Kierst opens her mouth, which is filled with doughnut, and says something that sounds like, “I’m not following.”
I rack my brain for the best way to summarize the last four years. “Well, I met Dax the same night I met Stu. Dax also got my number and asked if I wanted to hit up a new bar the following weekend with him and some of his friends. I said yes because I liked Dax, but our meetup ended up being pushed out a week because of some reason I can’t even remember, and then I had a stupid work thing the week after that and had to cancel. By the time we did hang out, I had already gone on, like, seven dates with Stuart. We were basically in a relationship.”
“But it wasn’t a good relationship?” Kierst asks.
There’s far more to it than that. “It was in the beginning. Stuart, as much as it pains me to say it, is a pretty great guy. He’s smart and reads a lot. We used to stay up late on the weekends drinking wine and talking about the dumpster fire that is our world. It was a lot of fun at first. I liked him. It’s possible I even loved him at some point. But then things slipped from great to good, then eventually into fine territory. I found myself dreading our predictable Friday night dates and wishing that, instead of hanging in and talking all the time, we could go out and try something new. Nothing terrible ever happened between us. We just…”
“Suffered from the boiled frog effect?” my aunt pipes in.
That’s it. There isn’t enough coffee in my system this morning to let that comment slide.
“Are you going to sit there all day saying random, weird things?”
Aunt Livi sets her book down on the stack in front of her and looks up. “No. I’m referring to your conundrum. It’s like boiling a frog.”
I exchange a look with Kiersten, who is sporting the same blank expression I imagine is on my face. “Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain this one,” I say.
My aunt rolls her eyes as if she’s disappointed that I’m not following her logic. “Have you ever tried to boil a frog?”
Another look with Kiersten.
“No,” I answer for both of us. “And I’m hoping that you haven’t either.”
Aunt Livi shakes her head. “Of course not. But if I were to heat up a pot of water and try to put a frog in, it would immediately jump out.”
“I would say that of most living organisms,” Kiersten mutters under her breath.
“Well, if you put a frog in cold water, then heat it up slowly, the changes are so subtle that the frog doesn’t notice until it eventually boils to death.”
“This is a disturbing analogy,” Kierst says.
My aunt nods in agreement. “Yes, I regretted telling it about halfway through, but the sentiment remains.”
“Okay, fine. Your relationship suffered a slow, painful death. But let’s get back to McDreamy. Sure, the timing never worked out before. It happens. But now the universe has done some weird-ass magic mojo shit and given you a do-over. Why not try now? At least take him for a test drive.”