My life was now divided cleanly. Before Sloane and After Sloane. I should have felt better by now. I was keeping her safe by keeping my distance. Something I should have done from the beginning. Something I always seemed to be incapable of. But I’d done the right damn thing. So why the fuck did I feel so damn knotted up inside?
Even now, I was watching the door, willing her to appear. And then what? Would she continue to freeze me out? Or would she direct her fiery temper at me?
“Where are these way too good for you women tonight?” I asked.
“If you’re trying to get information on Sloane’s whereabouts, it’s not coming from us,” Nash said.
The bearded Morgan brother shrugged. “You fucked it up, you fix it. And since you didn’t come to us before you fucked it up, we sure as shit aren’t helping you fix it.”
“There’s nothing to fix,” I insisted. “We had a good time. We’re done having a good time.”
Stef snorted into his wineglass and exchanged what-an-idiot looks with Jeremiah.
Nash set his bottle down on the bar. “I’m just gonna throw this out there before one of us does or says something stupider. Do not talk about Sloane like she’s one of the model scientist one-night stands you’ve been burning up the sheets with lately.”
“Things just got interesting,” Stef sang and nodded toward the door.
There she was. In a short black turtleneck dress that showed off the curves I’d so thoroughly explored. Her hair hung in a straight, sleek curtain down her back. Every muscle in my body tensed. My cock went rock-hard. It was too soon. I shouldn’t have come here. I wasn’t ready to see her and not feel things.
“Looks like someone isn’t waiting around for you to call,” Nash observed.
It was then that I realized she wasn’t alone. She was on a date with Kurt Michaels, the kid-loving teacher. He looked exactly like the kind of guy who would have kids. He’d buy a minivan and coach baseball, and every Christmas Eve, he’d stay up late, putting together toys.
Fuck.
“Man, that’s gotta sting,” Knox said smugly.
“Gotta admire our guy Luce here,” Nash said. “If Angelina had shown up on a date, I would have gone in swinging and not stopped until I carried her out over my shoulder. Not Rollins though.”
“Luce could give a shit that the girl he pushed away because he was too chickenshit to have feelings just showed up on a date,” Knox said, picking up the thread.
“Fuck you both,” I said into my bourbon.
“You could at least stop staring at them like you want to rip his arms off prior to carrying her off like a caveman,” Stef suggested.
“Fuck you too,” I shot back.
Jeremiah held up his hands and grinned. “Don’t look at me, man. You live your life the way you want.”
What I wanted was to turn away, to at least look in another direction. But I was riveted. The silver tips in her hair were gone. In their place was a single lavender streak.
“Now, I’m a straight man,” Knox mused at my elbow. “As such, I’m not the greatest judge of male attractiveness. But that guy is hot.”
“Agreed,” Stef, Jeremiah, and Silver the bartender said in unison.
“I hate all of you,” I announced.
Knox grinned. Silver smirked and slid me another bourbon.
The conversation shifted to weddings, family, and small-town gossip, none of which I could contribute to. Not that I was listening anyway, since Sloane had leaned in and put her hand on the teacher’s arm as they shared a laugh about something.
My insides coiled into an icy knot as a torrent of delusional thoughts raced through my mind.
Her hand should be on my arm. I should be the one sitting across the table from her. I should be the one taking her home, waking up next to her. Reading what she was reading. Yelling at the evil cat. It should be me in her life.
Sloane released the teacher’s arm and got up from the table. Without even glancing in my direction, she made a beeline for the restroom. I poured the bourbon down my throat, set the glass on the bar, and followed her.
“Oh, no. Not today, Satan,” Sloane announced, shaking her head when she exited the restroom three minutes later and found me lurking like a felon.
“I just want to talk,” I assured her.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
She’d frozen me out for nearly two weeks and now tossed casual disdain in my face like I was some petty annoyance.
“How’s your date going?” I asked acidly.
“Great. Thanks for asking,” she snarled.
“You’re welcome. I’m so fucking happy for you,” I shot back.
“I’m surprised you didn’t bring your parade of women out with you tonight.”
“Jealous?” I asked, hoping.
“You’re the one who cornered me outside the bathroom while I’m on a date with a sweet, smart, hot guy who is excited about starting a family, Lucifer.”
“Come over tonight,” I said, hating myself even as I said the words.
“Gee, I can’t. I’m busy having the case of whiplash you caused,” she snapped.
“Now you’re being dramatic.”
If fire could explode from a woman’s eyeballs and incinerate a man, I would have been nothing more than a pile of ashes.
“Do you really not get it? We had sex. You decided to stop having sex with me. The end.”
There was never going to be an end to us. “It was more than sex, Sloane. We’ve always been more.”
“Yeah? Well, even if we were more at one point, you not only walked away, you pushed me away, burnt the bridge, and ran like hell. But that doesn’t matter.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Ugh. Still annoying as hell, I see. Get this through your mercurial head, Lucifer. I want a husband, a family, a man I can count on to be there, especially when things get tough. I’m not ever going to settle for someone who runs just when things are getting good.”
“You admit they were good.” I held on to that with both hands like it was a lifeline.
“You’re an idiot.”
“You drive me insane. I don’t want to be with you, but all you have to do is walk into a room and I can’t help myself. I didn’t want to talk to you. I didn’t want to hunt you down and force you to look at me just so I can get close enough to see the green smudge in your left eye. I sure as hell didn’t want to beg you to leave your date so you could come home with me tonight.”
There was fire blazing in Sloane’s eyes now. I just wanted to touch her, to let that fire burn me. “You arrogant pain in my ass,” she hissed. “He’s a nice guy. I’m sure your incredibly good-looking astronaut is nice too. You wanted our sexcapades to be over, so you ended them. You don’t get to whine to me about your choices.”
I couldn’t help myself. My hands found her hips and I buried my face in her hair, breathing in the familiar smell of her shampoo. She let out a breathy moan that drove me mad and relaxed infinitesimally against me. I could feel her resolve melting. The physical attraction was too much for either one of us to deny, and I wasn’t above using it to my advantage.
I’d been hard since the second she walked in, but now my cock turned to stone. Pressing my luck, I thrust against her, letting her feel my erection. “It wasn’t a mistake. We’re no good for each other.”
Her breath was coming faster now, and the hard outlines of her nipples under her dress made my mouth water.
“Agreed,” she breathed.
“I missed touching you,” I said, pressing my mouth to her neck. If she did go back to her date, I wanted my mark on her. It was an asinine, caveman-like desire. I let one hand trail over her shoulder to her breast. She gasped when I cupped it, kneading the flesh until I could feel the hard point of her nipple against my palm.
“Lucian.”
My name from those red lips had me losing my fucking mind. This was another mistake in a long line of them where Sloane Walton was concerned. I shouldn’t have gotten so close. I couldn’t control myself when I was this close to her.
“Let me touch you. Let me taste you,” I whispered, thrusting against her again.
“Ugh! No.” She growled the word even as her hand shot out to cup my erection.
I was so close to release I didn’t dare draw a breath.