“I told him I couldn’t get an appointment until after he left to come here. I took a screenshot of a sonogram picture off the internet and sent it to him.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide, like she couldn’t believe what she’d said.
“Bethany,” Sadie groaned, her heart breaking for Jake.
“I’ve been trying ever since to actually get pregnant. Then I could tell him the dates were just a little off. But I—” She paused, “We haven’t been having sex. Not since I got here. I’m a horrible person. I’m going to hell. I’m going to break his heart.”
“You’re not a horrible person,” Sadie said automatically, hating that she always had to find the good. “You were just scared and made a bad choice. But you have to tell him. Bethany. You have to.”
“I know,” she wailed.
But even as she said it, Sadie remembered that Bethany wouldn’t remember this conversation. It would feel more like a dream to her once the effect of the scones wore off. Which left Sadie as the secret keeper.
She looked at her own plate, the scone untouched, and wondered what kind of secrets would spill out of her. Too many, she thought.
“I got in too deep, and now the lies have just piled on top of each other,” Bethany whispered miserably into her hands. “I just didn’t want to lose his love. But I ruined everything.”
“It’s going to be fine,” Sadie said, forcing a soothing tone to her voice. But Bethany’s gaze was now staring off at a far point behind Sadie’s right shoulder, her eyes reverted to their dreamlike state. Quietly, Sadie popped the lid back on the Tupperware and exited noiselessly through the front door. On her walk home, she dumped the scones in the river where the fish could keep counsel with their own secrets.
Florence was sitting on the back deck in Gigi’s old chair, smoking a cigarette.
“You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders,” her mother said.
Sadie sank into the second chair and ran a hand up her forehead. Ever since Gigi had died, she’d felt like she was floating. And here was her mother, offering an anchor. It was too much to turn down.
“I fell in love when I was seventeen,” she said. “And he broke my heart.”
“Did you ever fall out of love with him?” Florence asked. It was a strange question. A knowing one.
Sadie’s silence was her answer.
“Now he’s back. And he’s engaged. To a woman named Bethany. And she told him she’s pregnant. But she’s not.”
“Well, shit,” Florence said. “That does sound like a problem.”
“You don’t say.” Sadie couldn’t help but laugh at the tone in her mother’s voice. “I don’t know what to do. He has to know. Right?”
“You think if he knows that’ll give you two a chance?” Florence guessed.
“More than that. Taking myself out of the equation, he deserves to know.”
“But you can’t be the one to tell him.”
“I can’t?” Sadie grimaced. “No, I can’t. You’re right.”
“It would poison the well. Whether we like it or not, we’re all human, and revealing that kind of secret could come back and bite you in the ass later on down the road. You don’t think she’ll tell him? Or that he’ll figure it out on his own?”
“She said she’s trying to get pregnant and she’d just fudge the due date.”
“My God, she sounds like a piece of work.”
“She’s just afraid he’ll leave her. We do crazy things for love.”
“That’s not love, honey,” her mother argued. “That’s loneliness. Trying to hold onto someone like that, it’s control. Does he love her?”
“I think they both love the idea of each other,” Sadie thought out loud.
“Half his heart is with you and half is with that girl’s lies. The truth will always win out, one way or another. Trust me.”
And for some reason, Sadie did.
“I wouldn’t want him anyway if half his heart is with her.” And she realized as she said it that it was the truth. If she was going to risk her last heartbreak, there could be no question about where his heart lay.
“When your heart is split in two, you can’t be true to either piece. It’s like you’re two different people with one beating heart.” And as she spoke the words, her eyes lit up. “Sadie. I have an idea that might satisfy the life debt.”
Orange Honey Vanilla Scones
I like to use these when people refuse to talk to each other. Encourages openness and honesty with a little kick of joy. Made them for Dickie once, and they didn’t work on him. Some people are just too stubborn, even for magic.
Ingredients
2 c. all-purpose flour
1 T. baking powder
? tsp. kosher salt
7 T. cold unsalted butter cut into 1 T. squares
? c. heavy cream
1 T. vanilla extract
2 T. dried chrysanthemum flowers
? c. orange-infused honey
Directions
1.?Preheat the oven to 375?F.
2.?Mix the flour, salt, and baking powder in a large mixing bowl.
3.?Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in the butter until it’s well incorporated and you have pea-sized chunks.
4.?Combine the heavy cream, orange honey, chrysanthemum flowers, and vanilla extract in a measuring cup, and pour into the mixing bowl.
5.?Stir with a wooden spoon until the mixture starts to come together into a ball.
6.?Transfer the shaggy dough and any unincorporated dry bits to a very lightly floured large cutting board or work surface. Knead briefly until it just comes together, and shape into approximately an 8 × 8-inch square.
7.?Cut into eight 2 × 2-inch squares and, and then cut those into triangles. Transfer to your baking sheet.
8.?Bake 8–12 minutes until cooked through with light golden edges.
9.?Remove from the oven and allow to rest on the pan for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool or serve warm.
??16??
“GO FIND YOUR BROTHER,” Florence said breathlessly.
Her mom was actually excited. The most animated she’d seen her. And that was what made Sadie hop out of her chair and run into the house, heart beating triple time, her fingers trembling with hope.
Seth was on his computer.
“What’s up, sister?” he said, and when he looked up, Sadie was startled by the hollowness in his eyes. It looked like the vestiges of fear had ravaged his face, and it took him a moment to focus on her, like he was crawling out of a darkness and searching for any kind of light.
“Florence thinks she has an idea for the sacrifice,” Sadie said, trying to mask the worry in her voice.
“Thinks she does or actually does?”
“Shut up,” she answered automatically. “I’m the pedantic one, remember? Let’s go.”
She turned on her heel and heard the laptop shut a moment later. He grabbed her shoulder before she reached the door.
“Sade,” he said, his voice rough, “I’m scared. I can’t sleep at night. And I fucking miss Gigi. The darkness is getting worse. I—I feel like I’m losing it.”
“Me too,” she said, taking his hand. “I’m literally terrified. And I know it’s worse for you because it’s your life in the balance. I’m so sorry.”
“Not worse, just a different kind of bad. If it was your life hanging in the balance, I think I’d—no, I don’t even know what I’d do.” She’d never heard Seth talk like that before, and it made her want to be strong for him.
“Hey,” she said, “we’re in it together. I’m here. And this will work.”
He nodded, schooled his features so that his brow was smoothed out and the tight lines around his mouth weren’t so deep, and silently followed her outside.
Florence was pacing back and forth on the deck when they got there, her eyes wide and her short hair fanning about her in the wind.
“When your heart is split in two, it’s like you’re two people with one heart,” she said. “But you two, you’re like one person with two beating hearts. The life debt demands a sacrifice. But if each of you give half … well, we’ll just have to see if it works.”
“I don’t get it,” Seth said. “Is this like the story from the Bible where two women claim the same baby, and the king suggests they cut the baby in half and each keep a piece?”
“Really?” Sadie said.