I have one final demand that I came up with after talking to Jay. This is going to be the hardest one for him, but it’s not negotiable.
“You need to resign from Caseham High,” I say. “You can’t ever work as a teacher for children again.”
Nate sucks in a breath. “What? You can’t be serious. This is my livelihood, Eve.”
“You can still teach. You can teach adult education. But no children. Never again.”
“Eve, come on,” he chokes out. “I can’t possibly agree to that. All the other stuff—fine. But I’m not going to give up teaching high school.”
“Fine. Then we can go to the principal and let her decide.”
Nate pushes past me and walks over to the sofa, where he sinks into the cushions. He leans forward and presses his fingertips into his temples. “Please don’t do this. Be reasonable. You have to be reasonable.”
“This is as reasonable as it gets. Really, you ought to be in jail.”
“She’s sixteen. That’s an adult in Massachusetts.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s how you think of her. Like an adult.” I shake my head in disgust. “You need to decide. If you don’t resign, I am going to go to the principal about it.”
He lifts his face to stare up at me. “And you’re sure she would believe you?”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
He rises from the sofa and lets out a snort. “Everyone at the school knows you’re a complete mess, Eve. You’re not exactly trustworthy.”
“Excuse me? What does that mean?”
“For starters, you’re drunk at six in the evening.” He ticks it off on his fingers. “Also, you hoard shoes. It’s really nuts. If anyone got a look at our closet, they would lock you up.”
My face burns. He’s decided to play dirty, as it turns out. I shouldn’t have expected less. “I only have, like, a dozen pairs in my closet. Plenty of women have that many shoes.”
“Um, you think I don’t know about all the shoes you keep in that giant luggage?”
I did not think he knew about those shoes. But it makes sense he would. I imagine he was in the closet one day, looking for a suitcase for a trip, and he discovered my stash. The thought of him knowing my secret makes me burn with humiliation, but it doesn’t change anything.
“Really,” he says, “it’s your word against mine. Well, mine and Addie’s. She’ll never admit to anything.”
“Right, well…” I lift a shoulder. “Good thing I snapped a photo of the two of you kissing.”
What I’d really love to have is a photo of Nate’s face when I drop that little nugget. All the color drains out of him, and his whole body seems to sag. Yes, I have a photo of him kissing his sixteen-year-old student. He has no power over me.
“Fine,” he growls under his breath. “You win, Eve. I’ll resign.”
With those satisfying words, he turns away from me and stomps up the stairs. I have no idea where he’s going, so I follow him, taking the steps two at a time. I find him in our bedroom. He has hauled a duffel bag out of our closet, and he’s throwing clothing into it haphazardly.
“What are you doing?” I say.
“Packing.” He looks at me like I’m completely stupid. “You’re kicking me out, aren’t you? Am I allowed to bring some clothes with me, or do I only get to keep the shirt on my back?”
“You can pack.”
“Very generous of you.” Nate rifles through a dresser drawer and grabs his favorite hooded sweatshirt—the one with a hole in the pocket—and tosses it into his bag. “You know, I was always good to you. I never lost my temper. I never complained when you bought five billion pairs of shoes.” He kicks the luggage containing all my hidden shoes. “I came home every single night. What more did you want from me?”
He looks up at me, and I realize this isn’t a rhetorical question. He truly believes all those things were enough to make him a good husband. That you can check all the right boxes, and it’s okay, even if you don’t love your wife. Even if you cheat on her with a little girl.
There’s no point in trying to explain to him why what he’s done is so wrong. Instead, I go back downstairs and let him pack in peace. After today, he won’t be my problem ever again.
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Fifty-One
ADDIE
I AM in the middle of doing my history homework when I get the message on Snapflash.
I’m surprised to see it. Nathaniel is the only one who messages me on there, and he told me earlier today that we were going to cool it for a little while. So I don’t understand why there’s a new message waiting for me. But of course, it’s not like I could resist. Especially if the alternative is learning about the feudal states.
I open the app and find a message waiting for me. It’s short and to the point:
Eve knows.
A cold sensation slides down my spine. Eve knows. This is the catastrophe that we both knew had to be avoided at all costs. Mrs. Bennett knows about the two of us. And that means…
I’m sorry, Addie. I can’t see you ever again.
If somebody took a knife from the kitchen and stabbed me right in the chest, it would be about this painful. I don’t understand how it could be over, just like that. Yes, I get that it’s bad that his wife knows about us. But Nathaniel and I are soulmates. It doesn’t seem possible that she could snap her fingers and it’s over just like that.
Nathaniel’s words disappear from the screen, and it’s almost like I imagined them. But I didn’t. With shaking hands, I type in a question:
Did she tell Principal Higgins?
No. She didn’t tell her, but she says she will if I don’t do everything she says.
What does she want you to do?
There’s no response for long enough that I wonder if he has abandoned the conversation. But finally, his reply appears on the screen:
She said that I have to end it with you immediately and resign from teaching.
The first part is awful enough, but the second part guts me. Resign? Nathaniel is an incredible teacher. He has been the only teacher who has truly believed in me and definitely the best poet in the whole school. Maybe the only poet in the whole school. How can Mrs. Bennett force him to resign?
She’s evil. And not just regular evil. She’s cartoon villain evil.
Another message from Nathaniel pops up on the screen:
She also kicked me out of the house. I hope the ceiling falls on her and kills her.
So do I.
If she were dead, I could still keep my job, and we could still be together.
I stare at the words on the screen. If she were dead, I could still keep my job, and we could still be together. I read them five times before they vanish, and I am left wondering once again what he really meant.
If she were dead, I could still keep my job, and we could still be together.
Well, it’s true. If Mrs. Bennett is the only one who knows about the two of us, then if she weren’t around…
“Addie?”
My mother’s voice rings out from the other side of my closed bedroom door. She knocks once, and when she doesn’t get an answer, she barges right in. It’s like she can’t contemplate that I might be doing something in here that would require privacy. She has no idea that I’m not a virgin anymore.
Although now that I’m no longer allowed to see Nathaniel, I may as well be a virgin again, because there’s nobody else I would want to be with. Maybe it’ll grow back.
My mother does the things she always does when she enters my room, which is she looks around each of the four corners, like she’s worried she might find drugs in one of them. She folds her arms across her chest. I thought she would seem happier after my father was gone, but she doesn’t. I don’t get how a smart person like my mom could have ever loved someone so awful.
“Addie,” she says. “I just wanted to remind you that I’m leaving now.”
“Leaving?” I repeat.
Mom always says I sigh too much, but she does it way more than I do. “I have an overnight shift tonight at the hospital. I told you about that.”
“Oh. Right.”