I search my email for the recruiter who reached out a few weeks ago. Caleb never wanted me here in the first place and it’ll be easy for my replacement to pick up where I’ve left off if they actually want to fill the position. My guess is that after the merger, it will be someone in New York overseeing both companies anyway.
“I’m so happy you called,” the recruiter says. “I actually have a client who’s asked for you specifically. I’m sure you’re familiar with Underwood Industries?”
After a half-second of startled silence, I simply sigh. I have no idea if it’s a coincidence or my father perhaps trying to offer me some high-salary job to buy my silence, but it doesn’t matter. “Yeah, I’ve heard of them. Except I wouldn’t work for Robert Underwood if my life depended on it. Please tell them I said so.”
She gives a small, awkward laugh. “Okay. But are you open to other possibilities if I come up with something?”
I swallow. “Yeah. I’m open. I’m looking to leave here as soon as possible.”
ON FRIDAY MORNING, Molly comes over to watch the twins for me since kindergartners have a delayed start—St. Ignatius once again assuming all students have a stay-at-home mom or nanny at their disposal.
She’s glowing with excitement when she arrives—the date with Michael last weekend went spectacularly well (she screamed, ‘Five times, Lucie. Five times!’ into the phone so loudly that Sophie demanded to know what had happened) and they’re going away together this weekend as soon as I return to pick up the kids.
“I’m going to do your makeup,” Sophie announces.
Molly raises a brow. “I was going to teach you about derivatives.”
“Then we’re at an impasse,” Sophie replies.
Molly chokes on a laugh. “You win, simply for being a six-year-old who uses the word ‘impasse,’” she says, but she has her concerned face on as she walks me to the door.
She knows I’m about to see Caleb for the first time in a week—news about the merger leaked, so he’s called an emergency staff meeting to quell any anxiety. That alone would be hard enough, but I’ve also got Henry’s doomed presentation, followed by the twins going to their grandparents’ for the holiday weekend. The prospect of it all requires more grit than I may have.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks. “You can always come with me and Michael. He rented a house. There’s tons of space.”
I smile. “That’s nice of you, but I might get in the way of all the sex on the kitchen table you’ll be having.”
“You wouldn’t get in the way,” she says with a grin. “I don’t mind an audience.”
I laugh. “I’m a bit worried about that as well.”
Molly glances at Caleb’s house, which is dark again, though I saw a light go on late last night. Her smile fades. “Just get through today, yeah?”
I swallow hard. “Yeah.” Simply surviving the day seems like the best I can hope for.
I get to work and set up bagels and coffee in the auditorium with my stomach in knots. As the room begins to fill, I take a seat toward the back since I’ll probably need to cut out early to get the twins.
Caleb enters just a minute or two before the meeting begins, cleanly shaven, new haircut and new suit, more handsome than ever. He searches the room—not even trying to hide it—until he finds me. His gaze holds mine for longer than it should. He looks exhausted. He looks broken.
If it wasn’t for the twins, I’d have clung to him forever, content with the scraps he was willing to give me. Because it’s always been him for me, since the moment I first saw him. Maybe I’ll meet a nice guy someday, someone who cares about my kids, someone it’s nice to come home to. But it won’t touch what he and I could have had if life had taken a different path. No matter who I’m with, a part of me will always wish it was him.
The meeting begins. Mark does a little housekeeping, and then Caleb admits that a merger is in the works. There was worry in the air before, and now it’s shifting closer to panic.
Someone asks if the merger will mean jobs are cut. My father would make some grand, sweeping promise assuring everyone their jobs are safe even if he was about to lay off half the workforce. But Caleb won’t do that, though I’m sure Mark—currently wincing—wishes he would. He tells the truth, no matter how hard it is. He told me the truth, too, I guess. I just didn’t want to hear it.
“I hope not,” Caleb replies. “I’ll do my best to make sure everyone has a position, but I can’t say anything for sure.”
He answers a few more questions, then sits while Mark tries to reassure everyone. My phone, resting on my thigh, vibrates with an incoming text.
CALEB
We need to talk.
I glance up at the stage to find him watching me again. It’s the text he might send before telling me we can’t keep working together. What it definitely is not is the text he’d send if he wanted to work things out.
My fingers hover over the screen, but instead of replying, I lock the phone and slip out of the room to go get the twins. Today is hard enough without hearing Caleb deliver the final blow.
I get home and pull up beside Molly’s BMW, my gaze on Caleb’s house instead of my own. There’s a car in the driveway. I can’t imagine Caleb having visitors, given the current state of his home and the fact that he’s about to leave for Maui.
We need to talk, he’d said. Was it about this? This mysterious visitor he was worried I might run into?
When I get inside, the twins are still not in their uniforms and Molly’s got way more makeup on her face than normal.
I send Henry and Sophie upstairs to change and turn to Molly. “Have you looked in the mirror, hon?”
Her eyes widen. “No. Is it that bad?”
I hitch a shoulder. “That depends on your taste. You’ve got a circle of lipstick on each cheek, however.”
She rubs at her cheek and stares in dismay at the lipstick on her fingertips. “Fucking kids,” she says. “Are you in a rush? I need to fix this.”
“No, we’ve got plenty of time. There’s makeup remover in my medicine cabinet.”
She heads upstairs, and I wander, as always, to the back window where I’ve spent my entire life hoping to find Caleb on the dock, though I know he won’t be there today.
Someone is there, however—a woman, stretched out and basking in the sun. She’s long and lean, her red hair fanned out around her.
Kate.
Kate is here.
I don’t realize I’m walking toward her until the door closes behind me.
The noise rouses her, and she pushes up on her forearms, watching me approach. Kate, in person, is a thousand times more beautiful than any picture of her led me to believe. Even the way she assesses me is cool, sultry—the way a girl in a rock video might, as if she’s never experienced a moment of self-doubt, as if she already knows she’s won.
I reach the dock and I still have no excuse for why I’m down here.
“Hi,” she says. Her voice is a purr, slightly smoky. A bedroom voice. I do not have a bedroom voice—I sound like I’m six when I’m excited about something—and it’s a minor thing, but it speaks to the infinite differences between us. That I’m someone who’d rather stay in and bake cookies than go out to a bar, while this girl probably shoots straight whiskey, doesn’t blink twice at threesomes, and is game for things I don’t even know exist—things she probably did with Caleb.
Standing five feet away from her, it’s hard to imagine how he wouldn’t choose her over me. And it sort of seems as if that’s exactly what he’s already done.
“Hi.” I want to retreat without explaining myself. Say sorry, wrong dock, and make a run for it. “I’m Lucie. I, uh, live next door.”
There’s a hint of sympathy in her gaze. She’s clearly accustomed to women with a crush on her husband. “I’m Kate. Caleb’s wife.”
His wife. Not his ex-wife. And she certainly doesn’t give any impression that this is merely a visit.
I blink, thinking of his face as I sat at that meeting today. His serious, worried face. He couldn’t take me on a business trip to Maui, but I bet he could take a brilliant, beautiful MBA.
We need to talk, he said.
Oh, God. Was it this? Of course it was this.