He had a point.
“Not finding your soulmate by now doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you. Because believe me, there’s not.” Something in the way he said that made her stomach flip. “It just means the right guy hasn’t found you yet. And I can guarantee he’s looking.”
Something inside her chest melted, which made her suspicious. “You’re being really sweet,” she accused. “And we’re fully clothed.”
He sat in the wooden rocking chair, legs splayed and palms on his thighs. When he lifted one hand to run his fingers through his hair in a move that somehow seemed deceptively lazy, Claire’s gaze snagged on his rippling forearm. “I don’t know why you sound so surprised. Sweet is my default setting.”
How was he so sexy all the time? “More like sarcastic and foul-mouthed, but okay.”
“You didn’t seem to mind the other night.”
“I did not.”
His lids lowered a little as he watched her, their words hanging in the air. A low simmer of heat seemed to constantly burn beneath the surface when they were together, and the temperature rose by several degrees every day.
“Is this too weird?” she blurted out.
He arched a brow.
“Talking to you about my dating life while we’re...you know.”
“Nah. I knew what was up going into this. You want commitment and someone to share your deepest, darkest everythings with, and vice versa. That’s not what I have to offer and I don’t blame you for still wanting to find it.” He shifted in his chair. “Is it weird for you?”
“It might be if I actually like this guy.”
Graham glanced away for a beat. “Well, if that happens we stop what we’re doing. I’m fine with it to a point, but the second you’d rather be in another man’s bed instead of mine, we’re done here.”
His tone stung, but she tried not to let it get to her. “I understand.”
Silence descended along with an air of awkwardness that didn’t often exist between them. Graham seemed to dislike it as much as she did, and spoke again. “For what it’s worth, I hope you like him. You deserve everything you’re looking for and more.”
The sincere words were a balm to her soul, and she wished like hell she could say something to return the favor.
If she were being honest, she wished she and Graham were two people who could make it work, because there were so many things she liked about the man sitting beside her. His humor, his desire to help people, the way she knew he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to run into a burning building to save anything that breathes, be it a human or an animal, like the tiny dog curled up at his feet. She’d never had as much fun with anyone else, whether they were out on the town or at home playing a ridiculous card game. He could make something as mundane as a game of Old Maid fun...or sexy, depending on his mood.
That was the other thing. That pesky thing called attraction. She’d never connected with someone so well physically, including her most serious boyfriend, whom she’d dated for almost a year. She’d always sort of watched Graham from afar, proud to enter a room with him but never considering laying claim to him. They were friends and that was it.
She would have never guessed that kissing him on a whim would completely turn that on its head and take them down this path. But man, every time their lips touched, it was like lighting a match and throwing it on the campfire. The negative thoughts parading through her mind that said maybe she wasn’t, and would never be, enough for a man went up in flames.
The same thing happened somewhere inside him; she knew it. But his wounds, though no deeper, were different than hers. She didn’t know if anyone—certainly not her—would ever dig deep enough to heal them.
“You deserve that, too,” she finally said.
His next words surprised the shit out of her.
“I know.”
She stilled. “You do?”
He gave her a sort of sad half smile. “I said I know I deserve everything I’m looking for. That’s why I go out every weekend looking for it.”
Was he talking about women or being in the mountains? She was too chickenshit to ask, and Gertrude chose that moment to make her move, anyway. A woman with two large Rottweilers walked by, and Gertrude immediately went on high alert, barking endlessly as if she stood a chance to defend this house against those monstrosities should they decide to attack.
Then, when they had turned the corner, Gertrude trotted over to Claire and leaped onto her lap, back straight and tail wagging.
Graham’s mouth dropped open. “What the hell?”
Claire glared at the dog. “You’re not being cool here, G. He wasn’t supposed to find out about us.”
The pitch in his voice went up an octave. “Gertrude? Claire?”
Claire took a deep breath as if about to impart grave information. “Over the last couple weeks, Gertrude and I have been...”
“What? Just tell me!”
“...going on walks.”
Graham gasped. “No.”
Claire nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but she kept standing by her leash all sad and shit. At first I just did it so she’d get some exercise and maybe not take it out on my pillows or shoes. And it’s worked, by the way—she hasn’t chewed up anything since.”
“But...going on walks was our thing.”
“And it’ll be your thing again, once you’re better.” Claire ran a hand down Gertrude’s soft fur. “She still loves you best, Graham. You know that. It’s just, well, I can give her something right now that you can’t. It’s just for a little while.”
Gertrude whined, bringing both people’s attention to her.
Graham collapsed back against the chair and flung his arm across his eyes. “Just go.”
“Are you sure?”
He sat up suddenly and reached for his crutches. “I’ll go inside to make it less awkward. Just...don’t talk about it when you get back, okay?”
Claire couldn’t help the giggle that escaped as he thumped into the house, shoulders rounded in dejection. She darted up to grab Gertrude’s leash from just inside the door and turned to the little canine who, she had to admit, was pretty adorable in that moment.
“Well, G. Ready to go?”
The following evening, Graham appeared in her doorway while she stood in front of her open closet.
“You okay?” he asked. “I heard cursing.”
“I don’t know what to wear,” she whined.
He gestured to her silk robe. “That looks pretty fucking hot.”
He flashed that gorgeous crooked smile, which was the last thing she needed before going on a date with another guy.
Please, please let me like the new guy’s smile, too.
Determined to keep character to convince herself as much as Graham, she rolled her eyes. “If you’re not gonna help me, move along.”
Graham moved farther into the room, eyeing the outfits she’d discarded on the bed. Putting his weight on one crutch, he gestured with the other. “What’s wrong with that one?”
Claire scrunched her nose. “I decided it’s too fancy, and a little too revealing.” She ignored the flare of heat flashing through his eyes. “He just asked me for coffee, remember? I need to consider the setting.”
Graham frowned as if the concept were foreign to him, but he didn’t argue. “Okay, what are the other options?”
She pulled out a floral sundress that she’d always found cute and flirty and made her ass look great.
“You look really hot in that.”
“I do?”
“Sure. You wore it last year when we went out for your birthday.”
Her heartbeat slowed a fraction and she hooked the hanger on the back of the doorknob, trying to ignore the way her hand trembled slightly. She grabbed an emerald green silk tank top. “Um, I was also considering this one. With jeans.”
“Also a good choice. Didn’t that make it through an entire night at Dante’s Bar?”
It had, and that night had been insane. “How do you remember what I wore that night?”
He didn’t answer the question and instead asked his own. “What about that yellow dress you have? The one with buttons down the front?”
What the hell was happening?